Artemis Fowl: The Human Invasion
by Cyberspace
Summary: Complete! Post EC. A Mud Man is threatening the People. Thank heaven, for once, it's not Artemis Fowl. Rather, it is Arty who must help Holly & Co. to prevent the Lower Elements from being destroyed. Detailed summary inside.
1. Prologue

_**Here it is, people. The revised edition of Artemis Fowl: The Human Invasion. If it were Diablo, it would be an expansion set. Now this story is typeo-free and impeccable (at least in grammar). I must admit, even as I read it one last time before I update, my writing has improved. It is my hope that more people will enjoy it.**_

_**MAJOR CHANGES) **Diana was in the CIA, remember? One day, this thought came to me; what is a CIA agent doing in England? I mean the CIA is an American agency. I changed her agency to merely in 'undercover agent.' No other explanations will be provided in the story._

_**Summary) **Artemis Fowl has now regained his memories due to a cryptic girl who has a dark past, yet such a bright personality, Diana Choi. It turns out that Spiro is out of jail and now in the open. What's worse is that he finally discovered the existance of the fairies, and is now seeking revenge along with a felonious goblin named Keeth Gates and vindictive, evil Opal Koboi. It is now Artemis's turn to help the fairies- basically prevent Spiro from invading the Lower Elements, mind-wipe him, and allow the People to live in peace. But, come on, since when did everything go according to plan in a fantasy book?_

**Disclaimer: **I will do this once. I do not own the Artemis Fowl trilogy or anything, anyone in it. Never try to remind me- I truly wish I did own them and am now living in tears. I only own the story of my plot, Diana, and Keeth. Do you understand? Everything crystal clear?

_**The story begins.**_

* * *

**Artemis Fowl: The Human Invasion**

**Prologue**

It had been two months.

Two months since that unforgettable incident. Since that memorable time when the three humans had been sent back to the future, with no recollection of the past two years. Unable to remember what they had been through, what cataclysmic situations they had experienced, unaware of the cross-species war they might have started…

Mulch Diggums sat in his cell, looking at the gold medallion for the umpteenth time.

_He must be fourteen now, _Mulch thought. _I wonder what he's doing. Is it possible – though I know it's not -that he might have a flashback? _

Mulch reminisced on the moment when Artemis and the two Butlers were mind-wiped. He also thought of when Artemis was put under the _mesmer._ Him being under the _mesmer _was the only time he had seemed vulnerable, more than ready to reveal anything.

He had claimed then that the e-mail, Internet storage site, and the capsule were their only hope of regaining any memory of their experience over the last two years.

He was lying.

Mulch had the medallion, which was no medallion at all, but a laser disk with all previous records, including Artemis's diary. _This _was, in fact, their last hope of access to their lost memory.

_Ingenious, _Mulch thought. Artemis was the only Mud Boy ever to lie during the _mesmer._ True, it was a slight lie, but still. He had outwitted the fairies to the very end.

Mulch could never forget Artemis's last words in the note.

"Together we will be unstoppable…."

* * *

_**A/N)** I've decided to change my story rate from G to PG for future chapters. After all, what lies in the future is definitely not something that will give five-year-old children some peace of mind. Don't worry though. There's nothing about sex or violence. Actually, far from it. It's just some of the major details that will worry some young children to death:)_


	2. Chapter 1 : Reversion

**Chapter 1: Reversion**

**-Fowl Manor- **

Artemis Fowl was very pleased with himself indeed. He had finally found out the secret of the lens cameras that were inside his eyes. A ludicrous story, Artemis had to admit. However, it was true. The lens cameras were an invention of a race of subterranean creatures, which had highly advanced technology. Fairies. Butler and Juliet all had scoffed at the idea. What Artemis didn't know was why these fairies were spying on him. They were known to be peaceful creatures. Why would they want to form a conspiracy?

"Arty?" Angeline Fowl's voice echoed throughout the Fowl estate. Artemis quickly turned off his computer. "Yes, Mother?"

"What are you doing, Arty? Not concocting another scheme, are you?"

"No, Mother. I decided to focus on my education."

"Good boy. I'm very proud of you. We're going out for dinner."

Artemis held on to the thought that was bothering him. Was it possible that he himself was a detriment to the fairies? _No,_ he decided, _it can't be true._ After all, he had never known until today that fairies do actually exist. Later he would contemplate it more deeply. After dinner.

* * *

**Haven, Lower Elements**

"D'Arvit," Foaly swore softly.

Of course he would find out. Of course he would. He had always reminded himself of this fact-of course he would. The Fowl boy is a genius. Foaly had always known that a reversion could always come true, in the least expected moments. However, now that it had actually happened, Foaly couldn't believe it.

Yes, he couldn't believe it, but the truth was that he was glad. Now he would have an excuse to give Artemis his memory, Artemis was truly the only one that ever understood his lectures, and as he was an observant centaur, he knew that Holly was missing him as well. Not mourning for him, as Holly would for a lover, but simply feeling something missing. Like a hole in her heart.

"What's with the swearing, Foaly?" Commander Root asked.

Foaly groaned, but inwardly he was grinning. "Guess who just started a reversion."

Root considered it, and then groaned back and rolled his eyes. "Why am I not surprised?"

"I knew this would happen. Artemis is now as malignant as he was when he abducted Holly. What are we going to do?"

"We have to bring his memory back, that's what."

It was Foaly's turn to roll his eyes. "And how, Commander? We destroyed all the evidence of his last two years."

"Don't you have a copy of Fowl's memory?"

"Oh, right. He's going to take one look at my script and recollect everything about us that he ever knew. Artemis isn't that gullible, sir. He'll think we made it up."

Root bit his lip. His face had a tinge of a purple hue. "Contact everyone that was involved in the last Artemis Fowl mission. That means Captain Short and Mulch Diggums.

"Mulch Diggums?" Foaly's eyes widened. "But he's-"

"I know he's in Howler's Peak, Foaly. We'll have to take him out."

"I doubt that he will be much help sir."

"Who knows?" said Root. "Anything is possible."

* * *

"Hello?" Holly answered the phone in her house.

"Hi, Holly. It's me," said a voice in the receiver.

"Oh, please, Foaly. I'm a day off, you know. It's not every day that a captain gets to stay home on a weekday."

"I'm sorry, Holly." Foaly replied. "But this is something important. Actually, I think you might like to hear it. I want you here in ten minutes. Capishe?"

Holly sighed. "All right. But if it's not something serious I'm going to rip your tinfoil hat!"

Foaly hung up.

Holly sighed deeply once more. Ever since Artemis had…….gone, she couldn't help but feel a bit down. And now she was asked to come to work on her day off.

Naturally, Holly didn't know the shocking news he would receive when she got there.....

* * *

Exactly thirty minutes later, an upset captain and a grinning dwarf were assembled with Foaly and Root.

"What's all the commotion about?" grumbled Holly. "Doesn't a diligent captain like me deserve some rest?"

"Let me guess," said wide-grinning Mulch. "Our former ally Artemis has found us all over again, hasn't he?"

Silence filled the room.

"How did you know?" demanded Root. "You're behind this, aren't you?"

"Relax, Commander," said Mulch, still grinning. "Suspicions are painful. Is there any reason that you'd take me out of my cell, besides anything involving Artemis Fowl?"

"I guess not." Root replied after a moment's hesitation.

"Wait a minute," Holly said. "Are you saying that what Mulch said is true?"

"Basically," Foaly replied.

"Ridiculous!" Holly exploded. "This Mud Boy had two months. Two months. This Fowl boy may be a genius, but this is incredible. I assume he is the viper he was before?"

"Sure." Foaly said. "He changed a lot, I've noticed. He even grew out of his Armani suit. He's now fourteen."

"We'd better bring back his memory before he abducts someone again," Holly muttered. "Especially quicker if he plans to abduct the _same fairy being_…"

"That's very nice, Holly, but how?"

"That is one child prodigy." Mulch commented.

Mulch was enjoying all this raucous. How could he not? He was just killing time, while the others groaned over the thought of giving Artemis his memory back. Savoring the moment, Mulch cleared his throat.

"I think," he began. "I might be able to help."

"Right," Holly said. "Like you've been corresponding with Artemis or something."

Mulch slowly took out the gold disk. "Remember this?"

Holly recognized it. "That's the coin I gave Fowl when we were at the Arctic. How's that going to help us?"

"Oh no," Mulch droned. "This is no coin. It's actually a laser disk with all of Fowl's previous records."

"What makes you so sure?" Holly scoffed. "That's nonsense. You remember perfectly when I put Artemis under the _mesmer. _He said that-"

" The storage site was their last hope," Mulch finished Holly's words. "Well, apparently, he lied, because he gave me the medallion and a note. Although I destroyed the evidence."

"The greatest criminal mastermind has outmaneuvered us once again." Root commented sarcastically. "That makes him the first Mud Boy to lie while under the _mesmer. _

"Exactly," Mulch was grinning again.

"Mulch, give me the disk," Root commanded.

"Oh, I don't think so, Julius." Mulch teased. "I saved all your hides once more, and if you ask me, my cell is getting a bit too dank."

"Are you saying you want to be released-again?"

"Well, I didn't actually _say_ that," Mulch was having fun in vexing Root. "I'm just _implying_ it. There is a difference-"

"Fine!" Root shouted, catching the gibe. "Fine," he muttered more quietly. "You are freed, and we get the disk, Agreed?"

"Agreed." Mulch replied.

"It was a mistake in the first place to mind-wipe him." Foaly said. "We should have known better. Since he's older now, he'd probably have tried something fatal."

"Oh, he sure won't," Holly said, placing the laser disk into the computer. "Once I get his mind back again, we'll be friends _like ever_."


	3. Chapter 2 : Flashback

**

* * *

Chapter 2: Flashback** -Knightsbridge, London- 

The Fowl family was out at En Fin. It was the restaurant where Artemis had once met Jon Spiro, a Chicago entrepreneur. A felon, in fact. It was also the place where Butler suffered from a lethal wound. Obviously, Artemis didn't realize any of this. He was just here to celebrate his birthday.

While dining, Artemis thought of the recent gap he was having in his memories. A week ago, Artemis was dumbfounded at the ton of gold sitting inside his safe. His mind decided that it was from a recent robbery, but his heart felt it wasn't right. Also, about these fairies, it was almost as if he knew them already.

This is what usually happened as an aftereffect of a memory wipe. To the fairies' relief, it ended there, merely being confused at one's lost memories, not even knowing it was actually lost.

Juliet had gotten into the wrestling team. Artemis was extremely annoyed at this, though he had hardly doubted she would fail. She was as audacious as a leprechaun, to put it mildly.

Leprechaun? What made him think that a leprechaun was brave?

**

* * *

-Chute #57-**

Holly was doing the Ritual as far from Ireland as possible. She was in the United States, because she didn't want to risk another abduction. Artemis. It was their fault in the first place to mind-wipe him. They just didn't have the right. Erasing certain parts so the human will not be a liability, that was fine. But completely annihilating what had once been his scheme, carefully planned over a year? Holly was not so sure. Apart from missing Artemis, the other emotion she had felt was guilt. She was just about to put the acorn into the ground.

"Hello," said an icy voice, which was undoubtedly….

"No," Holly breathed. No, it couldn't be. Not Fowl. He shouldn't be here. She slowly turned around. This Mud Man was far from being Artemis. He was much taller, and he had a cynical grin on his face, which was, if possible, far more evil than Artemis.

"Jon Spiro," Holly said, absolutely stunned. "But-. How-"

"Amazing, isn't it?" Spiro drawled. "Who would have ever known that fairies actually exist?"

"I did some research after that Fowl boy bamboozled me. I was utterly confused. How could a boy, no matter how much a genius he may be, simply _disappear _in front of my eyes? I had no evidence. None at all. Until I looked closely at my cousin's thumb. I saw a scar around the knuckle. It apparently must have been cut out. I examined other fingerprints on his thumb, and found one other than Artemis's."  
Holly couldn't take anymore. She shielded herself and flew into the night sky.

"Just remember I'm after you fairies," Spiro sneered, "I will soon go underground. And this time, your dear Fowl will not be there to outwit me."

Holly closed her eyes. This was bad. So bad.

**

* * *

-Haven, Lower Elements-**

Diana Choi was a Korean-English teenage girl, with long black hair and stunningly black almond shaped eyes. She was a teenage undercover agent. She was not your everyday typical Mary-Sue. Exotic, yes, but not what would fit in the standard of 'pretty.' She was also the first to be hired by the fairies on their own free will after mind-wiping Artemis Fowl. She was in fact definitely not pleased, because her mission wasn't about spying or hurting anyone.

"So what you're saying is," Diana drawled, "That I have to un-wipe this intelligent mind of a teenage criminal and his pet gorilla, and force him to return here to help the fairy race. Am I correct?"

"Yes," Holly replied, handing her the gold laser disk. "You must call Artemis and tell him you are a criminal and wants to work with him. Then give him this disk. Little by little, his memory will come back. And then-"

"And then after he's back, I will be of no use, and therefore it will be my turn to be mind-wiped." Diana spat bitterly. "Clever deduction, eh?"

"Oh, Diana dear. Must you be so pessimistic?" Foaly said. "You are of no disadvantage to us, for you're not evil like him. Besides, we've decided not to mind-wipe brilliant humans anymore-it will be far too hazardous."

"Fine," Diana said. "Give me his number."

**

* * *

-Knightsbridge, London-**

Diana stared at the boy sitting across from her. He had raven hair, the color matching Diana's own, and midnight blue eyes. He was about 3 inches taller than her, and slender. This all seemed normal, except that this teen was abnormally pale, thoughts were wrinkling his brow, and he was wearing an Armani suit (a new one, since he had grown out of the other).

Feeling uncomfortable due to Diana's scrutiny, Artemis cleared his throat. "So, Ms. Choi," Artemis said. "How old are you exactly?"

"Fourteen next month," she replied tersely. "I hear you are also fourteen, but I don't have time for light talk. Mr. Fowl? Do you have a laptop computer?"

"Certainly." Artemis took out his computer.

Diana showed him the gold disk. As soon as Artemis saw it, he felt his heart jolt, yet he was not sure of the reason. "What, may I ask, is that?"

She shrugged. "Don't ask me. Just open it, read the contents, and don't say a word until you have remembered everything."

Artemis smirked. "And remember what, mademoiselle?"

"You'll see," said Diana, smirking back. "Just read,"

Artemis put the disk inside and opened the first file. The Booke Of the People. He read it, but he didn't seem to get it.

"Are you showing me a fairy tale, Choi?"

Diana scowled. "Move on to the diaries."

Artemis did. Suddenly, several unknown characters rushed into his mind. Holly. Auburn hair, and hazel eyes, with fiery determination. Caramel skin. 1 meter tall. Foaly. A quadruped animal. A witty centaur. Root. A purple faced fairy. And Mulch.

Mulch. That name struck his head unlike any other.

He sat there, stunned at all these memories. He had, after all, known the fairies all along. And he was their friends. He felt ashamed to have ever thought of destroying them. He also thought about Mulch. Then he remembered.

"Mulch," he gasped. "He was supposed to bring me the medallion. How come you have it?"

"That's it." Diana said, smiling with satisfaction. "Artemis the hunter is back."


	4. Chapter 3 : Reunion

**Chapter 3: Reunion**

Artemis the hunter. That was the sign for Holly to let down the camouflage foil. On the mission with Jon Spiro. Holly. He was with the fairies then. Before that, they had been in the Arctic to rescue his father. And before that, he had first become acquainted with the fairies and abducted Holly for a ton of fairy gold. So that's where the gold was from.

But why were the memories lost? Unless he was mind-wiped, he couldn't have forgotten. Unless he was mind-wiped…

Why were all these memories coming back? What did Artemis have anything to do with them?

Artemis's face was perspiring with exasperation. He was on the verge of fainting. "Mademoiselle," Artemis cried softly. "I need an explanation." The flow of memories gushing back through his neurons was too much even for his smart brain to handle.

"What explanation, Fowl?" Diana replied. "I believe you now recall everything from the last two years?"

"Yes, but… It is all too complex. I need to go to my manor."

"We have to go there anyway. To return your bodyguard's memory. Butler, you say?

"No," Artemis blurted. "It's…Domovoi. Domovoi is his first name."

"Very well, Domovoi it is, then." Diana said. "Let's get going right away."

**

* * *

Fowl Manor **

"So. We were mind-wiped from all our memories of these fairies," Butler said. "And all of our two years is on this disk?"

"Yes," Artemis said. "I know it's unbelievable, Butler, but take a look inside. I'm sure all your memories will come back."

"Artemis, you're just slipping." Juliet whined. "Are you sure this girl isn't your girlfriend or something, and you're just too embarrassed to admit it?"

"Are you quite out of your mind?" Artemis and Diana shouted simultaneously.

"Wait, wait," Butler shouted, clenching his head. His immaculate black suit was crumpling. "Oh my God, I remember, I absolutely do. This Mulch guy-" Butler gulped. "donated fat from his- his-"

"Yes, I know," said Artemis in his usual dignified way. "He donated fat from his behind to fill in it on your face. You had grown old after I placed you in a cryogenics pod and Holly healed you. She healed my entire family, in fact."

"Wow," Juliet gaped as she read. "I remember too. I smashed two macho men with my jade ring. That was _way _too cool-"

"That's enough," Diana intervened. "We seem to have a serious problem down in Haven. I suppose you all remember Jon Spiro?"

Three nods.

"Well, he's discovered our subterranean friends, and I believe he wants to start a war. By the way, Fowl, I lied about my being a criminal. I'm actually a undercover agent, and you are a very wanted person."

"Really," Artemis said, interested, and barely noticing the threat. "You must be fairly intelligent. I'm fed up with imbeciles like Spiro. I duped him utterly."

"Yes, yes," Diana nodded curtly. "Fowl, the fairies helped you twice and healed three of your family members. It is about time that you assist them."

"I agree," Artemis replied. "Now that I remember, I was prepared to help Holly whenever she needed my assistance. And so was Butler."

"All right." Diana unfolded a sheet of cam foil. "Nice to see that all of you are so determined. We're all flying."

**

* * *

Haven, Lower Elements **

"The first thing I'm going to do is ask exactly _how_ he lied through my _mesmer."_ Holly seethed, teeth gritting. "Honestly, I thought I was pretty good at _mesmerizing_ people."

"It's a good thing you weren't good enough. We might have never been able to see Arty again." Foaly said.

"Why don't we do this," Root said. "After this, we mind-wipe him again-"

"No!" shouted Foaly, Holly, and Mulch together.

"I mean negative, Commander," Holly added hastily. "It would be of too much risk. Artemis will find a way to deceive us again. Besides, it's against the law, sir. We've already been through this."

"The Captain Holly Short I knew was more than willing to break some rules." Root commented.

Holly pondered this for a moment. "Okay. Truth be told, I did miss him."

"And he's back."

Holly spotted Artemis and Diana walking down a corridor. She was shocked at how Artemis had grown. Her being a little over 3 feet tall, Artemis always had seemed like a giant to her, but he seemed to have grown a lot in barely two months. He was even – slightly – good-looking.

As he drew closer, she smacked her own head painfully for thinking so.

"Is this all I get for a greeting?" Artemis drawled, his voice icy and sarcastic as ever. "Four pairs of stoic eyes. How wounding." He grimaced.

"Honestly, Artemis. Did you expect us to share an embrace and a kiss? How so un-Arty like." Root joked. Root didn't joke often.

"Actually, Holly and I were talking about how much she missed you." Foaly said.

"I did not!" Holly shouted. "Well, I did miss you, but not a lot, just… Welcome back, Mud Boy."

" First of all, no, I would not like an embrace, and a kiss, _no thank you. _But a smile and a pat on a shoulder wouldn't hurt. Secondly, Holly, I would prefer it if you did not address me as a Mud Boy. I thought we were friends, after all,"

"Very well," Holly replied. "It is unlike Artemis to be maudlin at a reunion. I expected that. And she," pointing at Diana, "is our new member-"

"Diana Choi," Artemis replied. "CIA agent. Not a criminal, as she first told me."

"Well, Arty, she's as shrewd as you, so you'd better watch out."

"I doubt it." Artemis smiled. "And don't call me Arty."


	5. Chapter 4 : Preparation

**Chapter 4: Preparation**

"Shall I meditate again?" Artemis suggested.

"No, Artemis," Holly said firmly. "We don't have time for that. We have to make our plan as we go."

"I have to make some new iris-cams for Diana," Foaly muttered. "I really have never seen such black eyes. I can't tell the difference between the pupil and the iris."

"I suppose that's common where you're from?" Holly asked.

"Well, no," Diana replied. "Some of us have dark brown eyes. My eyes are black even by Asian standards."

"I wish I could speak Korean," Artemis said quietly. "Could you teach me?"

Diana was surprised. How many times did a child prodigy like Artemis ask others to teach him? "Sure," she smiled. "I'm sure you'll catch on to it quickly."

Diana was dressed in a tight black suit that looked as if glossed with enamel. She pulled her long black hair into a high ponytail. She had a slender frame, and all this surprised Artemis. He had never scrutinized a girl for that long. He had never looked closely at anyone, in fact.

Strapped under her jacket on both arms were two Neutrino 2000s. Slung across her slacks was a leather whip with a jade ring on it, a gift from Juliet. She also wore loop earrings, which were, in her words, "not for vanity." They were special devices that located Diana when she touched it. In her knee long boots was a small dagger. She was all set and poised for battle.

Juliet spoke up. "You're Korean, you say?" she asked Diana. "Can you do Tae Kwon Do?"

Diana laughed. "Yes, I can, although I'm hardly as good as you. I was working on my black belt when I got this mission."

Juliet brightened up. "Maybe we can practice?"

"Sure, Juliet," Diana replied. "And you too, Fowl. With your composed posture and all, I can hardly believe you are a man."

* * *

The first step was meditation. Artemis, of course, favored this step. To his dismay, this only lasted for a brief five minutes, just to "clear up your mind and concentrate entirely on your moves." 

Artemis could barely hold his leg up to Diana's shoulder, which amused both ladies quite much. "Honestly, Fowl, you should learn to get fit once in a while. After all, there are countless times when your brain cannot save you."

After a long three hours, Artemis learned to punch with all his might, kick above his height, and block Diana's moves without ducking like an idiot. Artemis's moves were so clumsy and ridiculous that both Diana and Juliet were laughing their heads off and Holly yelled at them for wasting their time.

"I simply can't do this anymore," Artemis gasped. "I mean, isn't this quite enough to defend myself?"

"I guess so," Diana shrugged. " I was just trying to put some muscle on your skinny body, which will obvious take considerably more than a day. I recommend that you practice every day. And get a proper tae kwon do suit. I know you've got the money."

* * *

Surprisingly, when the trio found Butler, he was not doing any preparations at all. "Why aren't you preparing for…er… the war, Dom?" Juliet asked. 

Butler smiled sadly. "I'm afraid that I'm too old, and that is physically, to be of any help to you all. I won't be attending-"

"Nonsense, Butler," Artemis said firmly. "Even if you have grown old, you are still robust compared to an ordinary man. Besides, you have now fully recovered from Holly's magic surgery. Therefore you shall attend. No person is useless anywhere."

"If you insist," Butler replied. "Thank you, Artemis."

Foaly was stalking down the corridor as well. He had a gun strapped to his waist, presumably a Neutrino 2000. He also had two gadgets strapped around his two front legs,

"What are those, Foaly?" Diana asked.

"I am _absolutely _tired with sitting around with my beloved computers. True, I do love them, but I wish to participate in this mission."

"Okay, but what are those gadgets?"

"Oh. This is a Sleeper Deeper bomb. I thought I might need it at the very end, if there is and end-" he winced at this thought. "- to knock out the Mud Men. Of course, it won't have any effect on me, for I made it that way, so I will be the one to detonate the bomb. After all of you are out of the room that I'm to set the bomb. And by the way, Artemis, you look more exhausted than you were three hours ago. What happened?"

Juliet and Diana exchanged grins, while Artemis groaned. "These two mademoiselles so kindly assisted me in learning Tae Kwon Do – a Korean martial art. Although I must admit I find it extremely good for both the soul and body."

Diana laughed. "I told you. I know you would think so. Artemis Fowl is getting more human by the minute."

Artemis raised an eyebrow. "And what precisely do you mean about me becoming more human?"

"I mean becoming like an ordinary teenager. You know, playing sports and such. Maybe if you'd at least try some Coke or chips like we do, or make friends of your own age, you'll become more like one."

" I do not wish have any teenagers to be my friend, and I have none around me." Artemis retorted. "I don't need friends."

"All right, all right. Now let's assemble in the other room. Holly and Julius are waiting." Foaly said.

Foaly, Juliet and Butler left. Only Artemis and Diana were left in the room. Artemis looked at her to see why she wasn't moving. Their eyes met, and much to Artemis's surprise, her stark black eyes looked hurt.

"You know, Artemis," she began slowly. "_I _could always be your friend. It's only that you never ask."

And then she left the room, leaving Artemis to be very puzzled


	6. Chapter 5 : Conspiracy

**Chapter 5: Conspiracy**

Jon Spiro was _so _not there. At least that's what Juliet would say. According to Holly, it seemed as if he was ready to crash into Haven in any minute when she met him. But it had been almost twenty-four hours, everyone had gotten a good night's sleep, and Holly and Root were loaded to the brim with magic. But he still hadn't come. They were all getting tense, so Holly tried to brighten up the mood with some light talk.

"Artemis," Holly began. "I almost forgot, I have to ask you something."

"What is it?" Artemis asked.

"How in Frond's name did you ever lie through the _mesmer_?" Holly asked. "You are absolutely impossible to predict. And don't take that as a compliment."

Artemis smirked. "Ah. For that question my answer is – I don't know."

"Oh, please tell me that the great Artemis Fowl doesn't know everything." Holly snorted.

"I don't know everything," Artemis replied as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "All I can tell you is that before I was under the _mesmer, _I was in a state of panic. You know that I could have done anything to hold on to my memories. Would have." He paused.

Holly urged him to continue with a wave of her hand.

"When I was actually put under the _mesmer _though, I didn't feel complete relaxation or bliss, as one is supposed to. I felt an urge. An urge to play a trick. To fight the _mesmer. _I found it fairly easy, and I remembered the laser disk. Is it really abnormal? My theory is that I was desperate because Foaly had discovered all the evidence I had hidden. Desperate enough to lie, that is."

"Yes, I suppose so," Holly replied. "But then again, you are far from normal, so it might have been easy for you. Anyway, we have to get ready. Spiro might be here anytime." Holly left the room, and Artemis and Diana were left alone once again.

"Artemis," Diana said. Artemis turned to face her, unable to suppress a look of surprise. Diana had called him by his first name. He didn't allow many people to do that.

"Yes?" He replied after a moment's hesitation.

"Don't you ever smile?"

"Yes, Choi, I do smile. I smiled when I was having a conversation with Holly just now. Didn't you notice?"

Diana sighed. "No, Artemis. That was a cynical sneer. At least that's how it looked to me." The relationship between the two teens had softened, so Diana was talking like her usual self. She had always felt uncomfortable using a bombastic vocabulary or a formal attitude like Artemis.

"I must correct you. That was not a sneer, Choi. It was a sign of amusement, and therefore a smile. Or a grin. Whatever you desire to call it. But not a sneer."

"Okay, whatever you say. That's how it looked like to me." Diana stood up from her chair. "By the way, Artemis. Did you think about what I said yesterday?"

"What do you mean?" Artemis asked, although he already knew. "And please don't call me Artemis. I don't approve of that for most people."

All signs of friendliness in Diana's voice vanished. "All right. I get it. Fine. So I guess a child prodigy doesn't need any friends after all, _Fowl. _That's fine with me. Who wants to be friends with an egocentric, big-brained criminal mastermind? I certainly don't." She started to leave.

_She's wrong, _Artemis thought. _I do need a friend, no matter how intelligent I am. I'm not the Artemis who abducted innocent fairies once before. However, I believe she doesn't know that. _

_I doubt she'll ever know if I don't tell her now. _

"Diana," he called out quietly.

It was Diana's turn to be surprised. She turned and stared into Artemis's deep blue eyes, tranquil and emotionless as usual. But when she examined them more closely, she realized that they looked slightly embarrassed. He opened his mouth to say something and then closed it.

"What," she snapped, annoyed. "Did you forget what you were going to say or something?"

Artemis looked back into her eyes. "I do want to be your friend. Will you be it?"

Diana was totally taken aback. She looked shocked for a millisecond, and then she smiled. "Sure."

Artemis slowly smiled back. It was not a smirk, a grimace, or a sneer. It was a pure smile.

* * *

**Chicago, Illinois. USA **

A small goblin peeked out from the sewage pipe. So this is how outer earth looks like. To him, though, Chicago looked like a 1950's version of Haven. _Obsolete, obsolete, _he thought as he tapped his foot impatiently, waiting for his employer. _Me, working for a Mud Man! If it weren't for the money, I'd tell him to shut up and mind his own business… But for a half a ton of gold, being an employee of someone, even a Mud Man, is not so bad. _

Keeth Gates was the Artemis Fowl of the underworld, metaphorically. He was wanted all over the LEP. With a few ingenious tricks up his sleeve, and fantastic technology even surpassing that of the fairies, Keeth was never caught, and was now assumed dead. The only goblin ever smart enough to outsmart the LEP. Keeth was overly proud of it.

A tall man emerged from the shadows. Keeth could tell even from a distance that this guy was EVIL! As he came closer, Keeth found it very hard to look up at him. He was too tall.

"Keeth Gates, I suppose?" Jon Spiro said. "Good evening."

"Good evening to you, too." Keeth grinned. "At your service."

"Straight to the point, then," Spiro said. "Take me to Haven as fast as possible."

"Haven, sir?" Keeth could hardly believe his ears.

"Yes," Spiro replied simply. "Don't tell me you can't do it. I might have a sudden urge to decapitate you. And don't just _take _me there. My job is always a stealthy one. As stealthy as possible. We don't want to be spotted by the LEP, do we?"

"Certainly not, sir," Keeth said. "But why do you wish to go to Haven?" Then he added hopefully, "Are you planning to destroy the LEP?"

"No," Spiro said, smiling. "I'm going to demolish them. I'm going there to seek revenge, and I felt that you had the exact same goal as I. Although you escaped every time you commit a crime, there were several times when the LEP ruined your so-called 'infallible' plans. Correct?"

"Absolutely," Keeth agreed. "Those LEP officers always show up in the wrong place, at the wrong time."

"To tell you the truth, I was once defeated by the fairies. With the help of a human by the name of Artemis Fowl."

"Artemis Fowl? Oh, yeah, I heard of him. Isn't he the little boy who was the first Mud Man ever to discover the existence of the People - on his own?" Keeth knew Artemis Fowl well enough. He was notorious to most of the People, but an idol to Keeth's fellow criminals.

"Yes," Spiro said. "But Artemis Fowl has now been mind-wiped, so that makes me the only human who is aware of the fairies. Being who he is, I'm sure he would have found a way to regain his lost memories, but it has only been a few months. He wouldn't be aware of the situation this time.

"So here's what will do. We abduct a fairy by the name of Holly Short. I hear she's a Captain at the LEPrecon unit. And then, you and your fellow goblins will start an invasion with me. Understood?"

"Deal," Keeth replied. "But before that we have to find a way to go through the sewage pipe and stay as clean as possible."

Spiro grinned before he realized what Keeth had just said. After he did, he groaned. "Isn't there another way?" he began to ask. But it was too late. Spiro was pulled into the pipe by Keeth, and was now nowhere to be seen.


	7. Chapter 6 : Emergency

**Chapter 6: Emergency**

**-Haven, Lower Elements- **

Diana was thinking quietly and deeply. Artemis was, too, but he was searching for an ideal plan. Diana was thinking of something else.

"Artemis, Diana. Artemis, Diana…Hmm…Interesting." She mumbled.

"May I ask what you're doing, Diana?" Artemis asked, amused.

"Artemis, Diana. Is it a coincidence?" she wondered aloud.

Artemis was seriously considering the possibility that Diana had gone out of her mind.

"Artemis is the goddess of the moon and archery. Her Roman name is Diana. Is that a coincidence?" She paused to look at him. "Did you know that?"

Artemis contemplated it. "Yes, so it is. What an interesting observation. But it must be a coincidence. What else can it be?"

"Maybe," Diana thought aloud. "Maybe we were the same person in a previous life, but we diverged into two people in the after life. Isn't that possible?"

Artemis wasn't exactly religious, so he didn't consider this as possible in the least. "Hardly, Diana. You seem to be overly devout."

"You know what? I think you're right." Diana suddenly laughed. "I just remembered, Artemis is a girl's name!"

Artemis scowled. He despised people who said that. "Well, Artemis may be a female name, but for your information, _Artemis Fowl_ is no girl."

"All right. You didn't have to be so sensitive about it, you know." Diana continued her pondering. "Imagine that your name was Diana. Now _that's_ a real girl name." Then she giggled.

"Do stop laughing. There's nothing humorous about it." But Artemis had no choice but to laugh himself. Diana seemed to have an innate ability to make everyone happy.

Holly walked in the door. "For Frond's sake, what is so funny? There's no time to joke around. You know that." Holly paused. "I'm pretty much tired of waiting like this. I'm starting to think this was all my hallucination, and Jon Spiro was never there."

"Hallucination? That means you're crazy. I know you're weird, but I'd like to not think you're crazy." Diana laughed.

"Sadly, she is," Foaly said as he walked in the door. Holly glared. "I mean really. She has a disease called 'Artemis Abhorrence.'"

Holly smiled. "You've got that right. And Foaly has a disease called 'Indiscriminate Encryption.' That means he makes a new language for every file he has. Just out of paranoia."

Ignoring Holly, Foaly handed Artemis a disk that was labeled "Fowl." "I came to give you this. It's a copy of your memory. You probably didn't know I had it."

"I see." Artemis stared down at the disk in his hand. "It would be interesting to have a look at my past. There might even be some things that I don't recall."

Diana, of course, had read Artemis's memory before she had gone to London to meet him, so she wasn't interested in the least bit. "You seem to have been quite a smart guy as a baby," she commented.

Artemis's eyes widened with surprise. "You read my memories? I do have privacy, you know."

She shrugged. "Nothing important, really. I was supposed to read it just to have a glimpse of your association with the People, but I couldn't resist my curiosity."

Artemis frowned. "All right. Thank you anyway, Foaly."

* * *

"This is absolutely disgusting!" Spiro yelled angrily. They were still in the long, meandering sewage pipe.

"Shh, not so loud," Keeth said. "When you go out, you have to put this object on your head." Spiro looked at his hand to see a small black dart about the size of a nickel. "What is it?"

"It's an invisible shield. My invention of course." Keeth beamed. "You see, we goblins can't do any magic. We can't shield ourselves either, so this is pretty much the closest we can ever get to shielding."

"Okay, but of all places, why do I have to put it on my head?"

"Don't worry. It's adhesive. I'll tell you when we are almost there, so you can stick it on your scalp. And I guess we are almost there." Keeth pointed to a ray of light coming from a distance. "Can you see it?"

"All right, whatever," Spiro grumbled. "But why on earth did we have to go through a sewage pipe?!"

Keeth sighed. "For the thousandth time, sir. We could bump into people, and they are going to be very surprised if an invisible object is stomping on their foot. We may be invisible, but that doesn't mean we aren't solid."

Keeth helped Spiro come out of the tube. He already had the dart on his head. It shifted automatically and was hidden amidst his hair.

"Now," Keeth whispered excitedly. "I will take you to a top secret place. Only the LEP people and I know about it. It's is locked with a code, but I have already deciphered it."

"It must have been a piece of cake for you," Spiro muttered.

"Do be quiet. The shield isn't soundproof, you know."

At the end of a hall, there was a small room. Instead of a hard, steel door like all the others, this room had a blue, translucent covering.

"You see? It's perfect. We won't even be noticed when we walk through this. I guess the so- called LEPrecons didn't realize that this kind of lock would be much easier to pass through."

"But what about the cameras? They're motion sensitive. They'll pick up the movement we make in the atmosphere."

"No, there isn't anything like that in here," Keeth explained. "Nobody's supposed to know about this room, remember? All there is is just a small camera in the corner, but it's totally out-of-date. It relies on vision."

"Still, the alarm will go off?"

"Sure," Keeth said, guiding Spiro through the blue light. "But we're invisible, you know. Come right over here and look at these beauties."

What Spiro saw were two shelves on each side of the room full with silver guns. Each one was made of stainless steel and coated with a thin layer of silver. They were unlike anything he had ever seen.

"What are these?" he asked.

"These are the Demolisher 2004s," Keeth replied. "They're still being developed, though."

Spiro picked up a gun that was located far beyond the range of the camera. The gun's handle molded itself like Jello and adjusted to fit in Spiro's grasp. The trigger also moved so that it was in his reach.

"You see, these things don't run on bullets. They use laser darts. Not laser beams, laser darts. It goes in a straight line forever, and breaks through any object."

"So what you're saying is that you highly recommend these weapons to be used in our 'war'?"

"Basically," Keeth said. "But the problem is that they weren't built for war. Their primary purpose is to demolish any obstacle that hinders the person who pulls the trigger. So it might not be an optimum weapon for the war-"

"Well, this baby will have to do. Besides, it looks _great._" Spiro said as he scratched his head.

It was then that the shielding device fell from his head.

And the alarm rang.


	8. Chapter 7 : Blunders

**Chapter 7: Blunders**

Artemis stared at the screens absently. So did Holly, Foaly, Root, Juliet, Butler, and Diana. Artemis knew what everyone was thinking. Now even he was starting to have doubts.

"Are you sure these are all the cameras installed in the LEP?" Artemis asked. "There could be another hidden screen somewhere other than this room."

Foaly sighed. "Diana and Commander asked me that, and Holly only asked me about, oh, 5 billion times. Yes, I am sure. I even checked all the other rooms."

Artemis sat back in his chair and folded his arms.

They waited. It's what they had done all along. And they kept on waiting, because nobody knew what else to do. For Artemis, not knowing what to do was a phenomenon that would most likely never happen during his life. But this time he had to admit it; he had no idea what would take place next, nor how to cope with it.

"I can't do this!" Holly suddenly exploded. "I mean, I know. I'm probably not what you'd call a patient person, but this is too much! That's it. This was just all my imagination. Artemis, go home. You too, Diana. Everybody! Let's go home!!"

"Calm down, Holly!" Root snapped. "He could be show up anytime. Shielded. Frond knows how, but he might."  
"You know what?" Juliet said. "I think we should go home. I don't know what that Spiro guy has up his sleeve, but if he's not here now, then he won't be here anytime soon."

Butler looked down cautiously at his employer. "Artemis?"

Artemis looked up at him. "Very well. I suppose we have to go back above ground."

"Wait a minute!" Diana interrupted. "Please don't tell me that everybody's _going?_"

"Oh, but we have to." Juliet replied. "Nice working with you all. We had three girls. That's more than any superhero movie."

"This is _not _a superhero movie." Diana said stiffly. He looked back at Artemis. "Artemis, don't go. Please?"

Artemis looked back at her. "But we have to. Good bye, Diana."

Diana looked upset. "Fine," she mumbled. "Fine! Let's go, then." She picked up her stuff and stalked out the door.

Artemis, Butler, and Juliet followed after her. Foaly reached out to terminate all the screens, grumbling about how he wanted to have some fun, not hang out with his computers…

Then there came a small beep.

Foaly jerked. Where was this sound coming from?

On a small screen in the corner, there was a person toying with a small gun. It was undoubtedly Spiro. But… this room he was in… No! It couldn't be!

"EVERYBODY!" he bellowed. "Come BACK here!!" Foaly tried his best to quell down his fast heartbeat, but was unsuccessful.

Diana was the first to come. It was strange, because she was also the first to leave. She looked completely out of breath. "What is it!" she said, a little excited. "Is he finally here?"

Root's face had a tinge of pink. "What is that room? Where is it located?" But he already knew.

"It's…It's the D-room, sir." Foaly said gravely. "I-I didn't realize it until the alarm went off. He must have been invisible-"

"Oh my Frond, I do not have time for this!" Root and Holly both bolted for the door.

As they ran, they ran into Artemis and the Butler duo.

"What is it?" Artemis asked, annoyed. "Has he shown up?" He ended up being even more annoyed when they ran without coming to a halt for an answer, but simply ran by. And he was _very _annoyed when he ran into Diana again.  
"Again, I must ask, what is the situation here?" Artemis snapped. "Is Spiro here? And why are those two fairies running like they have never run in their lives?"

Diana shrugged. "Have no idea. But I think you should follow, too."

Artemis ran, barely at the Butlers' heels. Running was a subject that Artemis was never fond of. Practically slick with perspiration when he arrived at his destination, he looked at the room to see a blue "door."

Figuring that Root had already unlocked the code or whatever was holding the blue light, he stepped right inside.

"Whoa!" Juliet exclaimed. "Now that's a lot of guns!"

"Whoa" was exactly how Artemis felt at the sight in front of him. He thought he had never seen so many weapons, all identical, in one room. In the shelves and drawers there were guns that were shining as if burnished with oil.

"WHAT THE HELL just happened in here?!" Root exploded. His face was magenta, and Artemis never knew that a living being could have that color of face..

"WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED IN HERE?!"

"What happened?" Artemis asked placidly.

"What HAPPENED?!" Root grabbed Artemis by his collar, 'What HAPPENED? I'll tell you what happened!!"

"So tell me," Artemis said as calmly as ever, except now a bit red because of the firm grip on his neck. "What happened? And relax. Whatever the reason you are incensed now, I am certain that it is not related to my affairs."

"Artemis's right, Commander. We must calm down. I'll explain it to you Artemis." Root slackened his grasp, and Foaly began to explain.

After a brief explanation, Artemis was deep in thought. "What I don't get is how Spiro got through the lock. And how he managed to become invisible." Foaly said.

"Is the camera motion-sensitive?" Artemis asked suddenly.

"Well, actually, no." Foaly admitted.

"That explains it. That's how he managed it. He somehow was capable of shielding himself, but when he got through, he got unshielded again. Most likely due to his blunder."

"Plausible," Root said. "But if he was able to shield himself, then that means-"

"He was with a fairy, definitely. My assumption will be-"

"Opal Koboi," Holly said, eyes firmly closed.

"Exactly," Artemis replied.

* * *

"We are so screwed up. Do you understand?" Keeth glowered at Spiro, all dignity forgotten. They had hidden behind a shelf of guns, and managed extricate themselves to get out with Artemis and his group. Artemis hadglanced briefly where Keeth had actually been, and his cold blue eyes looked as if he could see through everything. Keeth shivered. "We are never going to get in there. Never again."

Although Spiro was more than a bit arrogant, he couldn't help being ashamed. "Oh, but we will. This time, we'll just get in there directly."

"Shut up," Keeth snorted. "You don't expect me to go in there, say hi, and take out all the weapons by myself, do you?" Spiro's silence was his answer. "YOU DO?"


	9. Chapter 8 : Perception

**Chapter 8: Perception.**

**-NLE (National Lower Elements) Hospital, Lower Elements- **

Opal Koboi had long since awakened from of her coma. She glared at the white wall to her left, as if it held all the faults in the world. Suddenly, she banged her fist against the steel cot, causing a dent in it. Opal quickly withdrew her hand, rubbing it vigorously. "Ahhh!" she screamed. "Ahhhhhhhhhh!"

Briar Cudgeon, a traitor! I never should have trusted him, Opal thought. And if it weren't for that Artemis Fowl! I could have destroyed the LEP with the goblins! Whenever she thought of the luxury and bliss she could have had, Opal couldn't suppress the wrath bubbling inside her. She wanted to scream with all her might. She wanted to pull out her hair and burn a hole in the walls with her eyes.

She wanted revenge.

No, she desired it. She longed for it, even if it meant the end of the world.

A nurse came in with Opal's daily injections. Now I'm being accused of having a mental problem?! she thought. Honestly! What is the matter with these people? She waved a hand, ushering the nurse away. She didn't budge. Opal smashed the cart the nurse was pushing. Intimidated, the nurse then ran, babbling uncontrollably about a patient in Room 501 that is completely beside herself.

As Opal rubbed her temples in frustration, and also because of a migraine, she spotted a newspaper on the cart. She picked it up. The headline on the first page was "Artemis Fowl: Back Again?" It then listed Artemis's notorious acts and surmised that he was implementing a plan yet again. Actually, it was more of a sham, for the Haven Times barely had anything enough to fill more than two pages – but also it was a lucky guess. Artemis had come back underground, although not for the exact purpose that was listed in the article. It was a good thing that whoever wrote the article was correct, for if it was not, Opal would have mutilated the journalist. For the People, this situation was bad. For vindictive Opal, it was an opportune chance for revenge.

Opal closed her eyes smugly and drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Holly scanned the hospital impatiently. She then went to the information desk and pulled out her badge. 

"I need to see Opal Koboi as soon as possible." Holly said breathlessly. "It's LEP business. Where is her room?"

The nurse took one look at the badge and gasped. "Oh my god! You're Holly Short?" she gushed.

Holly blinked. "Do I know you?"

"No, but do I know you!" the nurse replied vehemently. "You're the only female officer in the LEP, and once was abducted by a Mud Boy named Artemis Fowl! I've always wanted to meet you!" She took Holly's hand and shook it strongly.

Holly said, "I don't mean to be rude, but I don't have time for this. Where is Opal Koboi's room?"

The fervent nurse soon turned somber. "Oh. Room 501. She's in a bad case though. I'm not sure you would want to see her-" The nurse opened her eyes. Holly was gone. In fact, she was in front of Room 501 in 30 seconds.

As Holly banged open the door and triggered her Neutrino in a pretentious manner, Opal awoke and opened her eyes groggily. As she squinted with her bleary eyes, she saw a red-haired leprechaun with a coffee-colored countenance that looked a bit too familiar. Memories of the B'waKell flashed into her mind as she fainted, hearing Holly's voice aloof and layered with the mesmer, "Sleep, Opal. Sleep."

**

* * *

Haven, Lower Elements **

Artemis trifled with the Demolisher 2004 that was left on the ground in the D-Room. He moved his hand rapidly so that the handle shifted to conform to the shape of his hand. Knowing that the malleable material had a memory function, he switched the handle to the first shape, most likely Spiro's grip.

He looked up as Holly materialized in front of him, with Opal hanging limply at her side.

"I'm going to make her talk." Holly explained. Then she turned to Diana. "Tether her to this chair." Diana obeyed, something that she did not often do. For some reason, it felt wise to obey her rather than defy her. Diana became almost hypnotized herself, for she had never seen a fairy do a mesmer before as Holly's voice became a choir of sopranos and altos once again. "Open your eyes now, Opal. It's me, Holly,:

Opal jolted, but her eyelids drooped as she submitted to the mesmer. She knew better than to resist it. "Ah, Holly. Long time no see, eh?" You're not going to kill me, are you? I hope that's not the reason you brought me here."

"Afraid not, Opal." Holly sighed. "I must interrogate you, though I hardly want to. Do you know what is causing the turmoil in the LEP now? Do you know anything clandestine about the LEP?"

"No, and no." Opal's reply was terse.

Holly's voice was now more layered, penetrating through Opal's skull. "Are you sure, Opal? You don't?"

"No," Opal replied. "Though I'm dying to know."

"I see," Holly said. "Artemis, examine the fingerprints on the Demolisher. Now."

Artemis scanned the gun, and divided the fingerprints into three different groups. All this was done in three seconds. "So there is another fairy involved in all this. As far as we know, the instigator is not Opal Koboi." He said as he typed.

"Obviously." Holly replied. "Search the DNA for each of them. I'm going to take Opal back." She started to shield herself, but then looked back and grinned at Artemis. "For once, the Artemis Fowl was wrong." Then she disappeared,

Artemis's eyebrow wrinkled deeply, and Diana grinned. "What are you smiling at?" he demanded.

Diana smiled. "I was thinking about your memory file. I especially liked a certain part of it. Want me to quote it?"

Artemis was silent. How presumptuous and absurd this girl was, memorizing someone else's memory! It was certainly not any of her business, and Artemis was seriously offended. Despite his annoyance, Artemis couldn't help being curious

"Aurum Est Potestas. Gold is power. My belief in gold and its value was tenacious, until I went through important incidents with Captain Holly Short. My mind went under a significant metamorphosis. I realized that gold and lucre weren't the only things in life. I realized that my love for my parents, my friendship for Holly, and my memories of the fairies are the things that truly bought me happiness. That is why I do not want to lose my memories. I do not want to be the foolish, money-loving monstrosity I was before." Diana recited. "And you know what's funny, Artemis?"

"What?" Artemis asked nonchalantly.

"You finally knew that tangible materials were far less important than humanly emotions. That's a great evolution. But," Diana's eyes gleamed. "How come you never knew that there are things that are more important than your big brain?"

Artemis faced Diana. "For example?"

"Duh!" Diana smirked, proud to have taught Artemis something. "Courage. That's the guts to do something righteous. Friendliness. What you need to make companions. And morality. Man, you are seriously deprived of morality."

Artemis shrugged, trying to act indifferent as he was before. "I don't understand." But his astute mind began to think. The fingerprints began to match with Jon Spiro, Artemis Fowl II, and Keeth Gates. However, Artemis did not notice the unfamiliar name.

"I never knew there was a human being who didn't know about this already." Diana went on. "You do say you're a genius, but to me, you just seem plain stupid. Just think about it anyway. Do you really think your brainpower will get you anywhere besides making income?"

Artemis stared at the screens, unaware of the new name once more, as he mulled. He was also stunned, because he never thought that he would be referred to as stupid even once in his life. Was his brain merely a way to earn money? And why did he care about the answer to that question?


	10. Chapter 9 : Persuasion

**Chapter 9: Persuasion**

Artemis was still thinking about Diana's words, partly because he simply loved to think, and partly because what Diana had just said struck him unlike any other thing he had ever heard. It was also surprising that he had never thought of a possibility that a teenager just his age had known long ago. He was naturally completely unaware that he was underneath the Earth's crust with a race of fairies, and that in front of him was a screen with an unknown name on it. To Artemis, he was merely pondering an issue. To others, Artemis Fowl was seriously slipping.

That's how it exactly looked when Holly Short unshielded herself and found Artemis sitting on a backless chair, eyes glazed. She stared blankly as Artemis fell over and dropped out of his trance. The Artemis she knew never made mistakes like that.

"Did you find out who the criminal was?" she said, still awed at the fact that Artemis Fowl could fall out of his chair like any other normal boy.

"Huh?" Using colloquialism like that – "huh" wasn't even a word! "Oh, yes. In fact, the imposter turned out to be -" he hesitated for a moment at the new name. "Keeth Gates. Another kleptomaniac like Mulch, I suppose?"

Holly's mouth went agape. "Who?"

"Keeth Gates." Artemis enunciated each word carefully.

Holly blinked. "My Frond!" she exclaimed. "Did you just say Keeth Gates? Don't tell me it's the Keeth Gates!"  
"And who precisely is the Keeth Gates?" Artemis smirked as he imitated Holly mockingly.

Holly ignored him as she went to a drawer that held numerous disks and flipped out a small black one. She then stalked over to Artemis, pushed him (sending Artemis down to the floor with a thud for the second time in a few seconds), and placed the disk in its drive.

The disk whirred, finally showing a file that was encrypted. Holly deciphered it in an adept manner. The file was labeled "Top Secret" in Gnommish.

"Top secret." Artemis read, recognizing the language he had translated on his own two years ago. His eyes moved as a file came into view – another one – the title being "Keeth Gates."

Just then, Diana showed up. "Oh, hi, Holly, you're back. I was just in the restroom-" She realized that neither of the two was actually listening to her, and her eyes followed Artemis and Holly's gaze on the picture in the file. She suddenly yelled, "Eww! Who's that?"

"I don't believe it," said Holly, obviously frustrated. "Trouble Kelp reported him dead about a year ago. This can't be possible."

"Simple," Artemis replied, grinning in his usual know-it-all way. "He formed a hologram of an exact facsimile of himself. Then he killed it. Do you remember when Foaly made a replica of me at the Spiro Needle? This goblin – that is, Keeth Gates – has technology that is 50 years more advanced than that of the people. All according to this document."

Holly glared at him. She hated it when Artemis pointed out things she didn't realize, and hated it even more because of the fact that he was always correct.

"Wow," Diana said. "A lot of things happened while I was at the restroom!"

"All right, genius," Holly said. "I'm going to find this guy. Apparently, he's with Spiro, so that makes it much easier. They can't be far. Just inform Root and Foaly on the details. I'm off!"**

* * *

Somewhere in Haven**

"Here," Keeth said. "This is a copy of the LEP top secret files. Just don't ask me how I got it." He paused. "Hey, I found an interesting name in there. I think she might be able to help us."

"She?" Spiro cocked his eyebrow. "So she's a girl, isn't she? So, do you exactly know this girl?"

"Well, I'm kind of acquainted with her," Keeth replied. "Criminal thing, you know? She's a pixie."

"A pixie." Spiro grimaced. "How grotesque the creatures residing here are!"

"Well, you look the same way to us," Keeth retorted, and Spiro frowned at his glib repartee. "Anyway, this pixie's in the hospital. NLE, mental area. Room 501."

"Wait!" Spiro interrupted. "Are you saying this girl is not only a pixie – but mentally retarded?!"

"Thepoint is, she's not, all right?" Keeth said. "So what's your answer? Go see her or not?"

**

* * *

NLE Hospital, Lower Elements**

"Hold on a second!" Keeth shouted as he held Spiro by his collar. "What are you thinking? Are you planning to just go inside that building – entirely visible? Good idea, Spiro. That is going to be very inconspicuous. Sure, it's just what happens every day around here."

Spiro was disgusted at Keeth's overdose of sarcasm, but did his best to look apologetic. "Sorry, Didn't think about that."

"Oh man," Keeth groaned. "Put on the shielding device, okay? And please, be quiet!"

Keeth watched Spiro silently shield himself and walk away. Then he collapsed to the floor, head held in both of his hands.

How arduous collaborating with a Mud Man can be, he thought. Even harder than working with a girl!

Speaking of a girl, Keeth thought. I can't ever forget the first one I had a crush on. She was a brunette…No, I think her hair was red…. I don't remember! But what I do remember were her intense hazel eyes. You could just gaze into them and never find a way out…

As Keeth let his thoughts wander (and he seldom did), from the corner of his eye, he could just see the girl of his dreams.

Keeth jerked his head to that direction and stared. This girl had auburn hair and hazel eyes. She looked angry, yet determined. A bit pretty, he noticed, but not what would be called beautiful or gorgeous. Hmmm, he thought. The girl I remember was quiet and soft. Oh, well, that girl is good enough. She looks fiery, too. I've got to talk to her.

Having forgotten all his schemes, he summoned all his brains and thought of an excuse to get to talk to this nubile fairy. As she came closer, Keeth began to become frantic. He desperately thought and thought… until this girl was….

Right. In. His. Face.

She looked shocked at first, but Keeth had no doubt he couldn't have looked more shocked if a gnome had just slapped him in the face. Whatever the girl was surprised at, though, she quickly pushed it away. She then flashed a dazzling smile. "Hi," she said. "Do I know you?"

"Uh…" Keeth couldn't utter a single word. "Uh… yeah! I think… um… I met you at the bar.. last week! Yeah, I'm sure." He was sure it was lame. She wouldn't fall for it. Couldn't.

"The bar…" An expression of something – what it was, Keeth was still not sure – flickered in her face. She again quickly brushed it away. "I see." She smiled again. "Um…"

Keeth was now delighted. This girl had to be stupid! "Yeah," he replied grinning. "Would you like to, uh, go somewhere for a drink?"

"Sure." She smiled. "How about the bar we met last week? It's across the street."

"Good idea." Although he held his composure, inwardly, Keeth bubbled with euphoria. He had just met the girl of his life.

* * *

The door of Room 501 was, if possible, more dull than the façade of the building. Making sure that no one was there, Spiro double-checked both sides of the hallway. No one. He quickly pushed the door open.

Inside, was a pixie – that looked kind of pretty, to human standards – biting her nails with deep rancor. She looked at the door that just opened, and sighed. "Holly, I do not have time for this. Unshield your self and ask me whatever you could possibly need to ask, but don't just stand there."

Spiro doffed the shelding device from his head. He smiled as Opal gaped at him. "Why," she gasped. "You're a – a – "

"A Mud Man, yes." Spiro said. "Opal Koboi. Nice to meet you." He locked the door and sat down next to her. "But not a nice day you've been having, I assume?"

"No," she looked down at her hands.

"Let me guess," Spiro said. "This has something to do with Holly Short, doesn't it?"

Opal's complexion cringed in anger. "How should you know!" she screamed. "And why are you here? If it's for another interrogation, then fire away!"

"No," Spiro replied. "Please do not be angry. And do be quiet. We don't want anyone knowing that a Mud Man is loose in the Lower Elements." He darted his eyes back and forth to make sure once again that no one was there. "I am here for one reason, and one reason only, and that is to hold hands with you."

"What?" Opal shouted. Then lowering her voice, she said, "But I don't even know who you are."

"Just trust me," Spiro said soothingly. "I'll tell you everything later."

"Trust," Opal spat that word as if it was something as repugnant as dwarf liver. "I got rid of that stuff a long time ago."

"All right," Spiro said, getting up. "Then you shall stay here, and rot in this hospital, and after that, you will go to jail, where you will rot some more in a cell, never to trust or be trusted by anybody. Or you can think about it again and come with me." Spiro paused. "What do you say?"

Opal sat up on her cot, silent, and the atmosphere was still completely devoid of trust. Then, her face filled with contempt and hostility softened, and she closed her eyes tightly. It was a sign of accepting.

"So tell me," Spiro said, trying his best to pacify the anger churning inside Opal. "Who is Holly Short? And where is she?"


	11. Chapter 10 : Predicament

**Chapter 10: Predicament**

Keeth was so happy he could even blush. The girl sitting next to him now was a stupid girl, no doubt, but she seemed like his dream girl. She was impatiently sipping her raspberry cocktail as if waiting for something. Unfortunately, Keeth misconstrued this girl's demeanor as a wanting for more conversation. Poor Keeth. Enamored by a mere female he had just met on the streets!

Keeth cautiously opened his mouth, trying to sound casual. "So, what's your name?"

"My name?" The fairy asked. "Oh, my name. It's…Lorien."

"Lorien." Keeth commented. "I see." He rolled his head around for something else to say. "Where do you live?" He apparently was oblivious to the fact that his words sounded only like platitude. Again, poor Keeth.

"In Haven," the girl replied, imbibing her cocktail through a straw very noisily.

Shocked by her rude behavior and her concise reply, Keeth just sat there, not knowing what to do. Then he smiled and draped his arm around her shoulder.

The girl smiled back, and if Keeth were to have noticed the mischievous look in her eyes, he would have been safe. As quick as light, she grabbed Keeth's hand and twisted his arm, causing him to yelp in pain. She reached for Keeth's other arm, and held them together. She then reached for some handcuffs in her pocket and snapped them onto his wrists in an adroit way. All this happened in three seconds.

"What-" Keeth was aghast. "Lorien, what are you doing?"

"Gotcha!" the fairy shouted giddily. "Nice try, Keeth. But wrong move!"

"Keeth?" Keeth's face was wan. "What do you- I'm, I mean… how do you know my name?"

"Oh, everybody knows you, Keeth." The girl smiled. "And don't call me Lorien. I know you're familiar with me. But let me introduce myself. I'm Holly Short, Captain of the LEPrecon unit."

"Holly…Short?" Keeth stammered.

"At your service." Holly grimaced. "I know this is confusing, but just let me help you out. After I assure the people in the bar that everything's fine." With a smile so malevolent that it reminded Keeth of Spiro, Holly made a swift kick to the back of his head. The sudden brunt of the collision made everything go black.

* * *

"He's awake," said a girl's voice grimly.

"Are you sure?" said another girl. "His eyes are still closed."

"Yeah, I'm sure," the other girl replied. "Look at him. He's breathing harder now."

Keeth reluctantly opened his eyes. Two girls were staring down at him. Keeth could barely make out their figures. One was a blonde, and the other had dark hair. He struggled to sit up, but failed because his arms were still held together with handcuffs.

"Oh, so he is awake!" the dark-haired girl clapped her hands. "I'll call him now-"

"I'm already here," a boy's voice replied.

A teenager stepped out behind the door. He walked gracefully to Keeth and sneered. The boy's suave composure and his vampire smile made Keeth shiver.

"Ah. So you have gained consciousness now? I wonder what a person with such an underhanded mission is doing here, so alone and wide out in the open? And without his accomplice?"

It was dark, and Keeth squinted his eyes desperately to adjust to the darkness. "What do you know?" he demanded. "And who are you, you stupid Mud Boy? What are you doing here?"

"Oh, so you do not know me?" the boy laughed, a hollow, mirthless one. "I thought I was infamous down in Haven," he searched for a light in the room. "Think, my fellow goblin, if you have a brain. Taken into account that no Mud Man has directly associated with the People, the only possibility will be-" He found a switch and flicked it on.

Keeth blinked. The figure of the boy that looked like a silhouette before now looked dead white. His blue eyes were icy cold, and his hypnotic gaze penetrated through Keeth's own eyes.

Keeth couldn't look any longer. The boy's irises were like cold needles pricking through his retina. In front of him was the Mud Boy he had so respected, and yet so dreaded…

"Artemis Fowl." Keeth said.

"At your service." Artemis grinned.

Artemis gripped one shoulder of the poor goblin(which was very difficult to do indeed, for Artemis was far taller than Keeth) and made him stand up. It was an aggressive move, definitely unlike Artemis. He made him sit down on a backless chair, while he sat on what looked like a comfortable couch. One by one, Foaly, Root, and Holly walked in. Holly flashed a grin. Keeth scowled. But the scowl on his face soon vanished when he saw the purple hue of Root's face. It was more than risible for him to bear. Keeth barely stifled a snicker, which resulted in a strange sound far too similar to the sound of dwarf gas being emitted. Holly smacked his head.

As Keeth rubbed his head in pain, he felt a huge lump perched on the top of his head like a hill. Root helpfully handed him a balmy cream from one of the drawers to allay the pain, but Keeth spurned it. Root frowned.

"Now, Artemis." Foaly said calmly. "He's all yours to interrogate. You know what to do. And _don't_ take your time. You know there is none to spare." Artemis nodded. The rest of Artemis's entourage went out. Diana looked back hopefully, hoping to stay, but she was coerced to leave. She shook her head sadly. "Nobody lets me do anything." She frowned like a child.

When Diana was relegated to the next room, still pouting like a baby, Artemis suddenly realized that Butler was missing. "Where's Butler?" he asked.

Foaly poked his head back in. "He was having a hard time, so we just sent him back. The poor guy."

Artemis cocked an eyebrow. "Without my permission?"

Foaly shrugged. "Sorry, The guy told me not to tell you. Said you won't allow it under any circumstances."

Artemis nodded once more. Of course. Butler knew Artemis too well. Artemis was not always sure if this was a good thing or a bad thing, but in this situation, it was definitely bad.

Foaly clicked the door and closed it. As if he had been waiting for this all along, Keeth grinned and offered his hand. "Artemis Fowl. What an honor to see you."

Artemis shook his hand gingerly. "I admire you also," Artemis grinned back. "With such avarice, you would most possibly have succeeded with the plot you've contrived. However, for I have been asked for assistance by Captain Short, it seems inevitable that you would have been caught."

"Because no living being ever outwits Artemis Fowl the Second." Keeth held his grin. "You're just how I expected. Clever, felonious, and insolent – but it would be hard to be modest for such an intellect as you, wouldn't it?"

"Of course," Artemis replied. "And you know why Short brought you here. Most certainly you do."

"No," Keeth lied. "But what I do know is that I need to remove my handcuffs. Captain Short's so uncivilized, although she has a pretty face-"

"That's enough," Artemis said roughly. "I will not ask questions. I hope you will comply and explain to me what I need to know."

"I know there's no point in lying," Keeth replied. "I assume you know about Spiro. And how he is my partner, although I don't want to admit it – and basically what we were planning to do. Where do I start?"

* * *

Jon Spiro was more than indignant, he was practically fuming with infuriation. Keeth was _gon_e. Gone with the wind. Just as a rainbow disappears in the sky. Although he searched frantically, Keeth was still nowhere to be seen. Spiro took the alternative; the only alternative, that is, which is to go straight ahead to Police Plaza. The gray façade of the colossus building was dull and monotonous, with a shape so exotic that it reminded Spiro of _Star Wars. _

Haven. The New York of the Lower Elements. Haven at night was like Broadway on Christmas, or perhaps New Year's Eve. Unfortunately, Spiro was going in the opposite direction of the rest of all the other people. Every time Spiro bumped into a fairy, they said "What the-" or "D'Arvit!"

He had no idea what D'Arvit meant, and he began to count the people he bumped into. Eventually, he lost count. For what seemed like the millionth time, Spiro ran into another person, this time two teenage girls. This time, they didn't utter the two things that the rest of the people blurted out. It was a good thing. If they had said "What the-" or "D'Arvit!" Spiro would have stepped on their feet and screamed at them for gabbling in an unknown language. (D'Arvit was not interpreted in his automatic translator inside Spiro's ear, the one that Keeth gave him, of course.)

One of the girls rolled her eyes and said, "Oh, those stupid LEP people, I just can't understand them. Do they have to shield themselves, like, a mile away from Police Plaza? Who do they think they are? Superman?"

The other girl replied, "I know! They're so snobbish, they think they're superheroes just because they save civilians from getting in a car accident every day. And you know why leprechauns are called leprechauns? I mean, do you know how they got their name?"

"No," The first girl said.

"Because of the LEPrecon unit. LEPrecon. Get it?"

They both laughed and sneered and jeered, all for Spiro to hear, but that was the least of his worries. The building that looked so immense that it seemed so near was actually a mile away. A mile. He had to walk _another mile_, after all these miles he had walked just now.

_Oh, why, God?_ Spiro looked up at the sky, which was not even the sky, but a kind of ceiling made of a brownish-black dirtlike substance. _Why did I have to come here and get acquainted with the fairies? For the sake of revenge? Why was I so blind by my own greed? Why? Why? WHY?_

_

* * *

_

_**A/N) **Now, people. Did you enjoy the revised edition? The only main changes that were made were in the prologue and the 1st chapter, perhaps in the 2st chapter. The rest were just grammar, word choice, or typos. FF is slow, so it took me about two and a half hours to complete all this. If you want to see the next chapter, review. _**Yes.** _Press that beautiful, spectacular button on your monitor that says go. I _mesmerize_ you. _

_I'll be back when I receive eight reviews from eight different people. Good day:)_


	12. Chapter 11 : Intrusion

_**Wow! It seems like a long time since I updated a new chapter! Yeah, I know, I was going to wait until I got eight reviews, but it seems like I don't care how many reviews I get anymore. I only got a few reviews last time presumably because everyone was so busy, and eventually I was pissed. But I really don't care about numbers, and that's probably the reason I hate math, and mathematics, and algebra, and geometry, and I'll probably hate calculus and trigonometry when I learn it.  
Anyways, I'll start the review responses from the ones left two weeks ago.**_

**_neutralgal:_ **_Thank you! And I'm waiting for the next chapter in your fic: The Intruder of Haven._

_**Amy Shadows: **I'm so glad you enjoyed it. I'd like you to keep on reading:)_

_**buffyvh: **You know what? You're right, it should be the other way around! How come you spot things that I don't though I read it a million times? Grrr. Keep it up with the critiques. I like critiques better than praises , you know._

_**TrunkZy: **All righty, you are indeed my favorite reviewer.(Don't be upset, other reviewers, it's just that this girl just makes me crack up -pats everyone on the shoulder- )_

_**cybergurl:** You're back! I thought you forgot about me! -Cyberspace burst into tears in happiness- Update your story. What are you doing, why aren't you writing?!_

_**Travithian Axile:** Thank you, and I just love your one-shots. Update your Harry Potter story. You've only got one review from me, but if you update, I'm sure you'll get millions._

_**Princess Arwen Evenstar 77: **Did I mention that you had a great plot as well? Oh yeah, I did. Keep reading!_

_**suga CraZie: **I agree indeed, revised is better. That's what revising is for, eh? hehe._

* * *

**Chapter 11: Intrusion**

"Are you sure that's all?" Artemis repeated to Keeth for the third time. "Isn't there anything else that you wish to tell me?"

Keeth sighed. "No, and this is my answer for the last time."

Artemis sighed back, but only inwardly – he had trained himself to obscure his emotions behind a façade of indifference since the age of five. Keeth was clever, but to no one's surprise, Artemis was far cleverer. In fact, he knew pretty much everything there was to know before he began questioning Keeth- thus he also knew that the goblin was hiding one last fact.

"Very well," Artemis smiled, trying to sound convinced. "You may stay in the next room. Juliet will be there to keep an eye on you. She is very brutal, and also physically strong, so do not attempt anything. Understood?"

Keeth's eyes widened in mock fright. "Oh, yes, sir," he replied sarcastically.

Keeth(still in his handcuffs) was led to the other room. Although no one knew it, Keeth had a safety detector connected to Spiro hidden safely in his foot. He waited until Artemis was gone, and in the short interval of time when Juliet was not there, he sent the universal sign for help in Morse code by stomping his foot. Three long stomps – three short stomps- three long again.

S.O.S

* * *

"What did he say?" Diana asked eagerly. 

"As assumed." Artemis replied. "He informed me everything I needed to know – collaborating with Spiro, his attempt to embezzle the guns(Artemis was slightly alarmed, for Root's face turned crimson at that). Yet I believe he is hiding another fact."

"What is it?" Holly asked.

"I think-" Artemis thought of the reactions he would receive. Diana would understand, and Holly would scoff at the absurdity of the idea of her failing the _mesmer _once again. Root's face would turn a deep purple, and Foaly would start bragging about him winning the science fair with his iris-cams – and beating _her. Arrogant quadruped animal he is, _Artemis thought. "No, I am certain. I believe Spiro has formed a collusion with Opal Koboi."

Several seconds passed, and the four of them(excluding Artemis and Juliet) silently interpreted Artemis's words. Then, one by one, they showed a reaction exactly as Artemis had predicted.

"HER?" Root was shocked utterly. "I DON'T WANT HER AGAIN!"

Holly groaned. "No! The _mesmer _was perfect! I'm positive!"

Foaly shook his head, in grief or in pity, Artemis did not know. "She's still holding a grudge over the science fair in high school. I wish she'd get over it. After all, my invention was far more ingenious. Don't you think so? Don't you ever say that my iris-cams are somewhat below the level of Koboi's Double Dex."

Holly was now wailing, something she seldom did even as a child. Diana stood beside her, trying her best to console her. "Artemis, you're not making sense! You know perfectly well that I did the _mesmer_ on Opal. She couldn't have resisted it! You know that."

"Relax, Holly," Artemis said firmly. "I am not questioning your ability. I'll explain. Do you remember when we were all in the D- Room?"

Holly nodded.

"I noticed a slight ripple in the air then. It was behind one of the shelves, vibrating madly. It suddenly moved toward the Demolisher on the floor. Noticing that I was observing, it didn't reach its hand out for it. That's when I picked up the gun.

"When we were out of that room, I stayed behind as the rest of you proceeded down the corridor. Barely audible, I could only hear a soft murmur. As I listened closer, I realized it as the voices of two men. They talked about how they wrecked their plan, but how they will not succumb to 'some fairy,' Then one man talked of an alternative, that is to steal the confidential files of the LEP. I naturally surmised that they were after Opal Koboi, for the rest of the people listed in the LEP top secret files are presumed dead."

"Observant little boy you are, Mud Boy," Holly glared. "Getting hold of the LEP files yourself before anyone knew it. How come you knew this all along but never told us? You knew it wasn't Opal. Yet you insisted that I go look for her."

"Because I was not 100 percent sure." Artemis retorted. "I never mention anything I am not certain of. Besides, it never hurts to make sure, don't you think so?"

"But if you're telling us now, that means you are sure now." Foaly said.

"Precisely." Artemis said. "Keeth gave me evidence that proved my hypothesis indubitable."

"What is that?" Root asked.

"He told me that the LEP files were incorrect." Artemis replied. "He said that Opal Koboi was not in the NLE Hospital, but now on the loose. I asked him, 'How did you know that?' and his response was a mere shrug and ' I have my ways.' He never introduced Opal as his other partner, although he admitted that he had copied the files."

"So he knows more than enough of Opal, and that is why you are certain?" Foaly asked. "Your argument seems cogent, but I have one question. Keeth could have just read through Opal's profile but never had gone to see her. What makes you so sure?"

"What _does _make him so sure all the time?" Holly muttered.

"I recognize a lie when I see one." Artemis said, trying to ignore Holly's taunts. After all, they had no time for bickering. " I, after all, do have a PhD in psychology. And you don't get a PhD for not noticing a fib."

"All right, we've completely scanned our foes' plans. We just need to make our own." Root said roughly.

Artemis smirked, already anticipating the fun. "I already have one."

Everybody groaned. Time for another Arty-scheme.

* * *

"Mud Men are _so_ helpless." Opal said in disgust. "You walked back three miles because you couldn't get to _Police Plaza_?" 

"Sorry," Spiro muttered back. "I couldn't borrow a car from anywhere, like you can. Did you think I haven't even thought of that possibility? I have no choice but to be helpless when I'm invisible and not supposed to be here."

Opal rolled her eyes. "Well, then, how about this? You could have asked me to come with you in the first place!" She parked in a deserted area with an annoying _screech. _"Get out. We're walking."

"I thought we chose a car for transportation because we didn't want to walk," Spiro said, shielding and getting out of the car.

"You ever notice one of those big signs saying WANTED?" Opal shot back. "Guess what. I'm all over them. Do you know what will happen if I just drive my car into the building?"

"I'm not so scrupulous back above ground myself." Spiro responded. It was true – he indeed had the Central Intelligence Agency searching for him with painstaking effort day and night.

"Then, good! So you know the reason why I have to hide like an outsider!" Opal snapped angrily,

Spiro ignored her because of the sudden vibration in his pocket. He reached inside and took out his detector. "It's a message from Keeth. My collaborator." Spiro tried with all his might to concentrate. "I think it's in Morse code."

"Give me that," Opal ordered. She snatched the detector away from Spiro, and calmly placed it between her fingers. "It says S.O.S, dimwit. He's asking for help. Hey, that's some partner you got, asking for assistance from a human."

"We've got to go then," Spiro then spotted a lid of a sewer, and hesitated at what he was about to do. He dreaded it just as much as Opal would have, if she were to be informed. Or just about as any person would have, if _they_ were to jump in a sewage drain with him. He closed his eyes and opened them almost immediately. Grabbing Opal's arm firmly, which forced out a cry from the pixie's red lips, he lifted the lid and jumped inside.

"What?" Opal shouted, her sharp shriek echoing. "You've got a genius goblin partner to work with. You are one of the most successful entrepreneurs above the Earth's crust, and all you can think of is a _sewage pipe_? Surely there must be a better route."

"No, not really," Spiro replied. "This is our only safest recourse. Other than that, we could go straight in the doors of police Plaza, or dig a deep trench into the ground and literally make an 'underground railroad.' Do you remember that from Human History class? Or did you consider that subject as foul and refuse to learn it?"

"Foul," Opal said through clenched teeth. "Never say that word in front of me again."

"I'm not that fond of that infantile kid, either," Spiro said. "Anyway, as ironic as it may seem, this seems the most feasible way, does it not?"

Opal whined from behind him.

Spiro almost rolled his eyes. He felt like he was dealing with a juvenile delinquent – if possible, Opal was much harder to handle. "Come on. It's only for ten minutes."

With Opal's incessant groaning and moaning, Spiro's ten minutes seemed like ten trillion hours. However, eventually the duo persevered in perfectly good condition, except for Spiro who was emotionally disturbed, and Opal had a purple bruise the hue of Commander Beetroot's face on her shin.

"Ohh." Opal managed out a gasp. "It reeks in here! I can barely breathe."

"You're not the only one dying of suffocation," Spiro replied.

Spiro heaved himself out of the pipe, and Opal followed after him, complaining about Mud Men with no manners. Although Spiro's clothes were smeared with old excrement (he had no idea how Keeth had managed to come out clean in the first place), as he looked around, he could not help but beam with confidence. Around him were rows of doors with "LEP" printed on them in large letters. _Wonderful, _Spiro thought. _The LEP officers think they are so ethical and heroic that they deserve to have their employer's names printed in bold letters on every door. That's the problem with the police; they think they're _so_ great._

"Where are we?" Opal asked, trying her best to repair her marred clothes.

"I believe," Spiro announced to no one in particular. "We are in a fairy's loo." Then with an evil grin, he added, "The _boy's_ loo."

* * *

**_Grr, I have the final examinations at school in two days and here I am, typing like crazy on my keyboard, updating, smiling while anticipating the reviewsI will receive... Wish me good luck on the tests, cuz I'll need it._**

_Roses are red, tulips are redder._

_Reading is good, and reviews are better._

**_Excuse my_ so _unpoetic mind; you know I don't have a knack in poetry, don't you?_**


	13. Chapter 12 : Disclosed

_**Hello, everyone! -starts waving like crazy- Long time no see! Then again, it's only been a week. Ah well. My friends are out to play, but not me, no way. I just love to watch TV and log on the computer while listening to music, then lending a few DVDs of the movies I've missed seeing at the movies, while munching on some snacks.. Yeah, that is totally the days. So, that's what I'm planning to do. **_

_**suga CraZie: **It's totally, entirely okay! You can leave a good review next time._

_**QQuagmire:** Yeah, I got mixed up with the SOS thing, but the fact is that I'm too lazy to fix it. And all my friends and readers didn't recognize that particular error, so that proves you're fairly smart:) And may I ask a question of you? Quagmire means soft, muddy ground. Is there a reason?_

_**neutralgal: **EVERYONE likes my plot. It's just that I don't have the confidence to keep it as decent as it is now. Most novices screw up the ending after all their labor in the first and middle part. I don't want to do that._

_**buffyvh: **Responses were sentby mail, and you read it. I think I'll do that from now on._

_**PeanutButterOreoCookieGirl99: **You don't sound insane, because no one beats being crazy than the omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent Cyberspace. Well, at least in my story I'm the God, right?_

_**cybergurl: **No, actually, I'm a total slob, all my typos are discovered by someone else beforehand. I am not meticulous, though I wish I was:(_

_**TrunkZy: **Hehe. I've already thought most of the things you told me in the "AF story recipe." Because I'm a genius, of course. MUHAHAHAHAHA!_

* * *

**Chapter 12: Disclosed**

**Fowl Manor**

_Uh,oh, _Butler thought silently. A man and a woman sitting on a bench in Artemis's patio were now coming closer towards him. They were the two people Artemis had managed to forget entirely about, despite his propensity to remember the most needless things. They were his parents. Now Arty was in major trouble….

"Why, Butler!" Angeline Fowl exclaimed, giving him a tight embrace. "We were waiting for you all along!" Her smile slowly faded as she realized that her son was not where he should have been, that is beside Butler, but somewhere else. Butler had abandoned his Principal.

"Butler, where's Arty?" Angeline frowned, out of apprehension rather than anger. Butler was never that irresponsible. He had never left Artemis's side since the day he was born. When Angeline was ill and Artemis Fowl the First had gone missing, Butler had been his guardian, always standing by Artemis's side, protecting him. He was the last person that would leave Artemis astray.

"Out to put another scheme into effect, I suppose," Artemis Fowl the First, who was a replica of what Artemis's adulthood will be, interrupted. "I thought I had made him understand! And Domovoi, I thought you knew better! You said it yourself- the number one duty of a Butler is to protect the Principal. Fulfilling the Principal's wish comes next!"

"Ah, yes, sir." Butler stammered. He now had to make up a lie, and it had to be a good one. "I could not stop him. He is, after all, a teenager. I owe you an apology, sir. But I did leave Juliet with him." Butler saw the distraught Angeline and quickly added "No need to worry." Then he turned to face Angeline. "For how long have you been back from Italy?"

"It's been about three days," Angeline, still frowning, wrinkled her brow, reminding Butler of Artemis once again. "Timmy. I think my little Arty is a trifling too smart. Maybe when he comes back, we should try to lower his IQ a bit-"

"Nonsense!" Artemis the First shouted. "He may be a child prodigy, but in a way, he's still so juvenile! He's still choosing crime over humanity, for God's sake!"

"Well, don't you think it's because you weren't there by his side in his childhood, teaching him the true meaning of life, and other aspects that fathers are supposed to teach their sons?"

While Angeline and Artemis Senior were quarreling, Butler had silently crept into the Fowl estate and called Artemis on his cellular phone. He picked it up on the first ring. "Butler?" Artemis said from the telephone. "I'm busy here. You know what I'm in the middle of, do you not?" His voice sounded far away, even tired. It seemed even more so because of the static. _It's because of the distance,_ Butler decided.

"Artemis, your parents are back from Italy." Butler explained. "They say they've been back for about three days now. I'll try to stall them, but you've got to do some thing fast."

There were several seconds of silence before Artemis spoke up. "That's right. It somehow escaped my mind that they would be back eventually. Just tell them I'm on business."

"Yes, Artemis. But hurry up." Butler carefully placed the receiver back in its cradle.

**

* * *

Haven, Lower Elements **

Artemis sighed and snapped shut his mobile phone. Dealing with Spiro was already enough for him already, but as usual, trouble did not leave him alone, and its last name was not Kelp.

"What is it?" Holly asked.

"It's my parents, Holly," Artemis replied. Holly was overwhelmed to see Artemis's eyes bloodshot with fatigue, and the skin below his eyes dark, as if shading the future. "They returned from their travel, and naturally found me missing." Holly, of course, didn't hear what Artemis just said, for she had been looking at his face which had now become a face of a man in his late twenties in just a few weeks. Holly's face began to transform into a expression of concern, but she hid it well. Much to her reluctance, Holly was gaining some of Artemis's qualities.

"Are we all informed?" Artemis asked, standing up from his chair. "I assure you that the plan will progress without hindrance. Holly, I need to speak to you privately. Follow me, please." He walked out the door,

Unwilling, but also wondering what the 'private speaking' was about, Holly followed after Artemis, closing the door behind her. She tried her best to trail beside Artemis, who was now walking at a swift pace. This resulted in a kind of sprint, so when Artemis had finally come to a halt, Holly almost collided with him- almost. Fortunately, Holly was not a klutz-she avoided that by skidding to a stop just in time.

Artemis had his back to her, so Holly figured she should stand in front of him. As she did, she saw that Artemis's face held a deep emotion- something Holly could not quite put her finger on. She decided it was concern and worry. Deep concern. "What's the matter?" she asked.

"Holly-" Artemis began, refusing to meet Holly's eyes. "I know this will be of great trauma to you, but every plan has a risk. I do hope you will understand."

"What is it?" Holly's voice rose in a tinge of fear.

Artemis bit his lower lip and braced himself in what he was about to say. "Do you remember the night we first met?"

Holly shivered. This would have been a melodramatic sort of sentence if the speaker was someone other than this Mud Boy. Of course she did. She sometimes still woke up in the middle of the night, beads of sweat cascading down her face and down her neck, at the vivid nightmare of that time….

"Holly," Artemis said. "Would you be frightened as you were then if… you were to be abducted again?"

Holly now knew what Artemis was thinking. "No, Artemis. Don't even think about it. I am not-"

"Please," Artemis said. "I didn't tell the others about this because I knew they will object. This is a important part of my plan. I understand it would be hard for you, and I apologize. But I need your help."

Holly remained silent, refusing to accept the fact that she had no other choice.

"I will come back for your safety," Artemis continued. "My schemes were always flawless. You need not worry."

"What if it doesn't work?" Holly whispered, holding on to her last strand of hope. "If you ask me, the reason I'm still alive is just pure luck. Until when are we going to depend on luck? What if it doesn't work this time?"

"Geniuses do not depend on luck. It will work. Look into my eyes and say it won't."

Holly did. Despite the abnormally abundant arrogance in his eyes, she was somehow assured-assured that they will once again come out of this alive.

Slowly, but cautiously, Holly nodded once. It was all the answer he needed.

* * *

"Now, you disgusting goblin boy, what are you looking at?" Juliet demanded. Keeth was sitting across from her, with a lopsided grin, now looking at Juliet for several minutes. It was getting on Juliet's nerves, and as everyone who knew her was sure of, it was not the wisest thing to irritate her. "I thought you liked red-haired girls." Juliet said this in a joking tone, but inwardly, she was not joking at all. 

"Sure I do," Keeth's grin widened. "But I like blondes just as well."

Juliet rolled her eyes. _Oh well_, she thought. _At least he appreciates beauty_. Juliet knew she was pretty. There was no way she was going to stoop down and be modest like some girls in embarrassing soap operas. What's right has to be confirmed.

As Juliet drowned in her own thoughts, she ignored the loud _thunk_ that sounded from outside. After all, sounds like that were frequently heard in the police station- or were they?

_

* * *

Girls,_ Spiro thought. _It's just the same for pixies. All they care about is how they look. Inundated in vanity._ Opal and Spiro had fought for quite a few minutes over whether or not to change into new clothes. Spiro said that they did not have time, and Opal hollered about the two of them having an odor equivalent to a skunk's and said she could not stroll around wearing that smell and stomped out, promising to be back in thirty minutes. 

_I know it,_ Spiro continued his thinking bitterly. _I'm absolutely sure of it. She's going to buy some clothes with a pair of high heels and earrings to match her outfit. Then she'll buy some eye shadow (also matching her clothes) and about thirty new sticks of cardinal red lipstick._

As Spiro was thinking needless things completely irrelevant to his mission and all, he made the greatest mistake of his life. He made sure no one was looking and turned off his shield. About as soon as that happened, he felt his head snap forward with a loud _thunk_. It was accompanied with a sound of a leather whip, and he sank to the ground, half-conscious.

Diana grinned, surprised at the fact that a jade ring so small could produce such a loud thud. She stepped on Spiro's head lightly to make sure he was knocked out, and then grabbed Spiro's legs, and _dragged_ him- all the way down. Great means of transportation.

* * *

**_Okay, you sweet lovable readers, this is the time for a riddle. Sorry about the poem last week, I know it sucked, it's just that it was, um.. spontaneous. Okay, here's the riddle. Whoever gets the answer gets.. the pride of triumph._**

_It's mightier than God, and eviler than the devil._

_Rich people need it, poor people have it._

_When you eat it, you feel hunger,_

_When you drink it, you feel thirst._

**_I know it doesn't rhyme, it wasn't rhyming in the first place. Don't ask me why. If you know the answer, include it in the review. I'll leave for now_****_with a lingering hint: Think like a child._**


	14. Chapter 13 : Escape

**_Is it a coincidence that Christmas happens to be Saturday? Because Saturday is my update date, and here I am, typing away on Christmas! Happy birthday Jesus! God bless you... Oops, I forgot, you _are_ God._**

_**TrunkZy: **-shrieks- You have aced my riddle! Thus I am defeated! AHHHH! Curse your genius mind! You are the only one with the right answer, and I will review your story along with a package of homemade cookies. -TrunkZy eats them, makes a face, and spits them out-_

_**cybergurl: **Thank you for pointing out the mistake! I fixed it._

_**neutralgal: **Merry Christmas to you, too! I love your Christmas fic! It's better than the Intruder of Haven._

_**Trinity Day: **Sorry about the misunderstanding. I left a review for you. I wish you'd keep reading._

**_lil bishi hunter:_**_Sorry, the answer is wrong. And what specifically is the 'reality problem?' Don't know what it is, but it probably occurred because Arty is far too smart for me._

**_lol, my birthday is the day after tomorrow, that is, 12/27. Till then, I'm still sweet thirteen. Let's party!_**

* * *

**Chapter 13: Escape**

There were two things that Artemis Fowl never did, on his own will or simply by nature, no one exactly knew, and will never know in the future. One of them was making a fool out of himself in front of others (with an exception to Holly Short), and the other was using his own physical strength.

This explains Artemis's lean frame, which is a remarkable antithesis to his companion Butler's sinewy torso. This also explains why Diana Choi was now on her own, muttering to herself about useless men, _a_ man in particular who was now in puberty. Not only that, but dragging an unconscious man down the stairs, beads of perspiration flowing down her skin in streams.

"I am going to kill Artemis," Diana said between her gasps, panting like a dog on a torrid summer day. "Isn't this something a man is supposed to do? A _decent _man, that is. I guess Artemis isn't decent. Well, what luck I have."

A very impatient (and also indecent) Artemis was tapping his foot, watching with a blank expression on his face at a groaning teenage girl. She spotted Artemis looking at her and said, "You are such an idiot. I thought men were supposed to help females in this kind of situation! So what I'm implying is, in case you haven't noticed-which I seriously doubt, after all, you _are_ a genius- give me a hand?"

"Using strength or power is only efficient under tyranny in an emergency. With an exception to that, using one's own physical strength is only for beasts." Artemis replied, being his usual pedantic self who had once utterly swindled the most erudite teachers at St. Bartleby's.

"Beast, eh?" Diana sneered, half joking and mock angry. "So you're saying that I'm the beast you keep by your side to protect you?"

Artemis smirked. "No, not exactly."

"Whatever," Diana said, her voice dripping with acrimony. "Dear master, do lead me to the room where the mind-wipe will be held. I will be waiting humbly for your orders."

"I told you that you being a beast is not what I implied. Do not be offended." Artemis said. "As for the mind-wipe, it will be done right here. Foaly will assist us-" Artemis said the last sentence with a slight edge of dread in his voice. No one would have known that it was there."-since unfortunately I do not know how to activate this machine."

"I saw that look, Artemis," Foaly joked. "I thought you knew that I rarely miss anything, just like you. Anyway, let's put that filthy unconscious body on to this chair. Although I must say I _so_ do not want to."

Foaly held Spiro by his nape and heaved him up. Spiro's head lolled on his neck in an unpleasant way. Foaly frowned, and set up the tools to perform the block mind-wipe and sat in front of the computer screen.

"Wait!" Diana shouted. She hesitated for a second as the two males looked up at her attentively, one a centaur and the other a human being.

"What is it, Diana?" Artemis said slowly and carefully, as if dealing with a child.

"Nothing," Diana closed her mouth, embarrassed. "I just had a feeling that this is to good to be true. No, more accurately, too bad to be true. What I mean is, I don't really trust this situation. There's something behind this, I'm sure of it. And even if it does end this way, well, then it's awful! You know, I want some adventure!" Diana continued droning about equally absurd ideas in various languages.

Artemis and Foaly raised their eyebrows and looked at each other. Their expressions seemed to say, "Are girls in general always like this, or is it just her? If it's the former, then… I don't know what to think of them." Right then and there, Artemis had to admit that women were too esoteric for a professional psychologist (not to mention a genius brain) to comprehend.

After making various strange faces toward Artemis, who soon turned away at his distorted figure while threatening to doff his tinfoil hat, Foaly sighed and typed swiftly on the Gnommish keyboard. Then he pressed a button that had letters written which made no sense to Diana, but Artemis could barely make out-"Enter,"

"D'Arvit!" Foaly suddenly shrieked a shriek that could have made Opal Koboi turn on her heels in awe, if she had been there at the moment. It also made both Artemis and Diana jump out of their skin.

"My God, Foaly, what is the matter with you?" Diana asked.

"Do kindly explain." Artemis said coolly.

"D'Arvit!" Foaly shouted yet again, a touch unnecessarily. "The mind-wipe isn't working. He must have a chip that propels mind-wipe waves in his scalp."

"That was nothing to shout about, Foaly. I would have been surprised if Spiro hadn't managed something like that." Artemis replied.

"Okay, it was just completely unexpected to me. After all, things like 'mind wipe propellers' don't exist. So what do we do, O Magnificent Mastermind who Foretells Every Matter?"

"Who also considers every contingency," Artemis replied. His face was grim. "Besides the idea of implementing a brain surgery now, which is virtually impossible, for the LEP does not provide the proper equipment, I believe having a little chat with Keeth for now would be the most logical answer. Shall we?"

* * *

"KEETH GATES!" Root stormed into the room where Juliet and Keeth were inside and screamed so loud that Foaly feared severe destruction of Police Plaza. He and Holly were naturally informed of the Spiro incident, and as usual, Root had gone ballistic.

"Mr. Gates? I remember you telling me that you informed me of absolutely everything I needed to know?" Artemis began.

"It's none of your business," Keeth pointed out rather impertinently.

"That is beside the point," Artemis retorted, his voice a bit indignant.

Keeth snorted. "Please, Arty dear-" A vein pulsed in Artemis's temple at the mentioning of his pet name. "-do you reckon I _really_ told you everything? Let's just consider this, criminal to criminal, you know? If you were to be in my shoes, would you really confess _everything_?"

Artemis tried his best to look frustrated, and mildly taken aback. Being a good actor was one of his best features. Staring straight at Keeth, he glared in a way that would have frozen the Amazon rainforest, with a look on his face that was unmistakably furious.

"Do not put on a show Arty. I know that your acting is truly one of your best features." Keeth jeered.

Now Artemis was indeed surprised. He expressed it in a most Artemis-like fashion, "Your flippant attitude is unacceptable. Don't call me Arty."

Knowing that this was the best recognition he could get from Artemis, Keeth mocked in a singsong voice, "That is beside the point, _Artemis_."

Artemis rubbed his forehead, half still acting and half unconsciously. Although he was certain he knew everything possible, he couldn't help feeling uneasy. Things were not going the way he planned.

* * *

Still not at ease, and also starting to have a major headache, Artemis had left the room, giving Root and Holly the role of hollering. Artemis was sure that shouting wouldn't get them anywhere-it never did, and Keeth was having a joyful time knowing something that the others didn't. Or something that Keeth _assumed_ the others didn't know. _Let him have his fun,_ Artemis thought. He simply told Keeth that he will be sent to Howler's Peak to atone for his sins.

"I'm going to get him!" Holly had yelled, shaking her fist in front of Artemis's face. "Just in case he has anything else kept safely from us, I'm going to squelch everything that's in that D'Arviting little-" Artemis had smiled at her fiery personality, despite his headache- it was a trademark of Holly Short.

He stepped into the room where Diana was in. Everything was quiet and still, with only the pristine equipment in view. _I suppose Spiro hasn't woken up yet,_ Artemis thought as he drew closer to a faint irregular breathing. Whoever it was, the person breathing seemed to take a lot of effort just in order to inhale and exhale. The sound became more audible as he went closer. When he faced Diana, he uttered a single gasp.

Her jacket was ripped straight across her chest, revealing a tight tank top. One of the Neutrinos once strapped to her shoulder was drawn, while her jade ring leather whip was coiled on the floor. All the weapons Diana alone had insisted to keep intact somewhere in her clothes, while others tried to persuade her to take them off. Artemis was now grateful for Diana's stubbornness. But the most astounding part came next- her face. There was a purplish-blue bruise placed on her left cheekbone, and blood streamed down from the cut on her forehead.

"Diana!" Artemis exclaimed. "What happened? Are you quite all right?" As he said this, he couldn't believe how relatively warm-hearted he had gotten compared to his life two years ago. Being his normally callous self, he would have merely tossed her an ointment and commented, "This pharmaceutical will help the blood clot and the wound heal quickly. It is one of my latest inventions, and it consists of many chemicals that are only available in my state-of-the-art laboratory-"

Diana let out a cough. It was actually a lame surrogate for a laugh. "Am I all right?" she whispered in a rasp. "Do I look all right to you?"

Artemis didn't answer. Although the wound on her face did not seem superficial, the usual sarcasm in Diana's voice was still left. It somehow assured him that she was fine. "I believe we need to compress the cut in order to clot the blood. I believe you will be able to do that on your own. There's nothing I can do, is there?"

"Anything you can do?" Diana asked. Then she allowed herself a small smile of mischief, which tensed up her facial muscles and brought her great pain. "Just sit there, okay?"

Artemis obeyed. Diana need not answer to the question "What happened?" It was obvious, because Spiro was gone and Diana was injured. One could easily put two and two together. What he didn't know was what Diana was planning to do, just making him sit on a chair. Just as he was wondering, Diana then stalked over to Artemis and rested her head on his shoulder.

Artemis was paralyzed. The only women she had ever encountered had close to him was his mother Angeline and Juliet Butler, and also a variety of businesswomen. And now, he had a girl so close to him that he could feel her breathing, feel her skin… It was just weird. That was the only word to describe it. Weird.

"Relax," Diana said. Then she frowned. "Your shoulder feels like a brick."

Artemis tried his best to relax as Diana told him to, to calm down this strange feeling he had never experienced into pure equanimity. They sat there side-by-side, unaware of what other dangers would come to them, between them something sprouting that was definitely not love, nor friendship…

* * *

**_Okay, a bit of G-rated romance, how was it? Are you people sad because it wasn't something more? Sorry! This is a G story!  
I watched School of Rock on DVD, and it totally rocked. I love the song they were singing on stage. I was cracking up because of Freddy:) I did some research on him and his name was Kevin Clark. Surprised to see that he was two years older than me, but barely taller. lol, he's cute, though.  
Wow, I have a lot to say today! Adios for now!_**


	15. Chapter 14 : Emancipation

_**HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE! I heard that FF is going to be renovated! I am sooooo touched... **_

_**neutralgal: **I don't understand why you not understanding some of the words I used would be a compliment. I think you meant that I used high-class words, but I don't think that's the main aspect in writing well. Writing is all about making readers understand, and I just throw some words I know for flavor. Anyway, thank you:)_

_**cybergurl: **Sorry, this chapter won't be so long. But the next chapter will be:)_

_**PeanutButterOreoCookieGirl99: **Sorry, that's not the answer. One of my reviewers already mentioned the answer._

_**suga CraZie: **You are far from sanity, don't worry. HAHA! Thank you for the long review!_

_**Princess Arwen Evenstar 77: **Glad you're not offended! I was kinda pissed when I was reading your story and I was even more pissed at your abrupt ending. I hope you'll have more time so you can change your story!_

_**TrunkZy: **How dare you shove Arty! How DARE you! The romance in Closer was totally uncalled for. I expected it, but WHOA, was I surprised:)

* * *

_

**Chapter 14: Emancipation**

**Somewhere in Haven**

A miniskirt flashed into view, along with a tight tank top and a denim jean jacket. An ostentatious pair of knee-length boots went together to complement the already flamboyant outfit. A set of accessories perched daintily on Opal's neck and ears, and she sure didn't forget her trademark, blood red lipstick.

"You look like you're going to be in a fashion show instead of seeking revenge." Spiro commented tersely. "What a fine coquette you are."

Opal grimaced. "My, my. You don't know how to respect beauty." Her frown curled more deeply as she examined Spiro head-to-toe. "_You_ look like you've just been wrestling with a bull instead of seeking revenge."

Spiro chose to ignore her overtly. "I believe our friend Keeth has been trashed in Howler's Peak now. A prison for goblins, I heard. I hope he'll find his way out."

"No doubt he will," Opal said. "Just as you have gotten out of human jail. Criminals always have their ways."

"Stop your blabbering this instant and listen up. I have some important news to share. Do you want to hear it or not? Your choice."

"What is it," Opal muttered, annoyed.

Spiro smiled, pleased to see Opal twitch with anticipation on his every pause. "I found," he paused again and his grin widened. "A girl there." Opal was listening very attentively now. "A human girl."

"A human girl," Opal said, disappointed at this so-called big news. "So what? I guess the LEP has been associating with Mud Men. A Mud Girl, to be exact. Must they stoop down so low?"

"You are collaborating with a Mud Man yourself." Spiro retorted.

"Against my will," A smirking Opal shot back. "I must ask you something out of your puny brain, which apparently considers a Mud Girl as 'big news.' Are you absolutely certain that Artemis Fowl is not there?"

Spiro thought about it. Was he really sure? Artemis Fowl was a prodigy, but even a prodigy couldn't escape a mind wipe. Sure, he would have scattered links to his lost memory. However, the centaur would have destroyed them. At least those of the human world. Even if some evidence was hidden unknown in the world above, he would not be able to have any access to them. The only other way to reinstate a lost memory is to have seen a strong enough motivation or impression, but so far (according to his data from constant search on the Internet) no fairy has ever gone above ground since the last AF incident(All incidents regarding Artemis was referred to as the 'AF incidents').

"Well?" Opal asked, her voice rising.

"Yes, I am sure." Spiro replied.

* * *

"Ahem," said a voice. 

If Artemis didn't know better, he would have jerked; but instead he simply shoved Diana's head lightly. "I have provided you relaxation; you may get off now.Holly can heal you."

"I have provided you relaxation," Diana mimicked Artemis. "Sure you did. If you consider resting your head on a brick as providing relaxation."

Calmly, Holly cupped Diana's face in her hands to heal, and as blue sparks flew and patched blood clots into new skin, she was unable to resist a grin. "I understand you two adolescents greatly enjoyed being together?"

If these two teenagers were normal, Holly would have expected them to flush red. Rather, these two were by far the wittiest, appearing-to-be-emotionless Mud People Holly had ever met. Artemis hid it well; Diana was too straightforward to be embarrassed about her feelings. Holly imagined herself being inundated with witty comments:

"Holly, do be sensible. Do you really consider me as 'enjoyed,' being a living cushion to this inane girl?"

"Next time, give me a sofa to rest on, my _dear_ Holly. Do you think finding rest on a boy I have no interest in is easy to do?"

"Captain Short, do you realize that having a heavy weight on one's shoulder obstructs growth? I, after all, am a man in puberty. Has it escaped your attention that it is a time period to promote my growth?"

"Anyway, thanks for the good experience. It's not everyday you get to lean against a petrified human being."

Contrary to her deduction, however, there was not a sound from the two children until she looked up. Artemis looked as indifferent as ever, and Diana looked a tad guilty. Then Diana carefully opened her mouth. "Holly, Spiro has escaped."

Holly nodded "I guessed so," Holly then added, "Don't you feel too bad about it. It would have been much wiser to let go of him. Besides, it was part of the plan."

"What?" Diana looked back at Artemis angrily.

"I apologize, Diana, it indeed was," Artemis shrugged. "If the mind wipe doesn't function, we let him go. Although Holly and Root must have overlooked that possibility, and naturally thought the mind wipe would have worked. I suppose that explains why they were shouting at Keeth in such an improper fashion."

"But Artemis, I got hurt,"

"I thought you wouldn't. That was not part of the plan, as you may have noticed."

Diana glared at him. "Why did you leave me out on that particular part?"

Holly answered that for her. "It's an Arty thing. He leaves out certain parts to certain people. Only he himself knows the entire plan. It happened all the time. It probably will in the future." Holly frowned at that last thought.

After the talk had ended, Artemis couldn't resist one gibe, "I reckon the two people who truly enjoy time together will be you and Trouble Kelp."

Holly's face turned crimson. "I do not like him! I don't have anything to do with him!"

"Whatever you say, Captain Short," Artemis gave Holly one short salute.

Holly rubbed her eyes in infuriation. Artemis was changing, whether he was aware of it or not. Whether he _liked_ it or not. He had developed a heart, discretion, and even a sense of humor. Holly feared for the condition of his brain. It would be most likely for his brain to deteriorate after such an enormous gain of humanly essentials.

Worst of all, he was developing a motor nerve…

* * *

**Howler's Peak**

Name any negative emotion. Gloomy, depressed, despondent, hopeless, furious, irate, blue. Whatever you name, Keeth felt it- all rolled up in a tight knot in his heart.

He had plenty of things to be upset about, enough to make a list. First of all, the fact that he was caught in the first place. Second of all, Spiro was caught also. Thirdly, Spiro had been near him and he couldn't tell him one important fact; Artemis Fowl has returned. He tried to send it in Morse code, but he seriously doubted that Spiro could understand. Even Keeth himself was uncertain about all the signals regarding the letters of the alphabet, as Spiro had called it. Last but not least, he had no idea where Spiro was now, if he was even alive at all, but he could never find out now because he was incarcerated in goblins' hell: Howler's Peak.

_Let's look on the bright side,_ Keeth thought hopefully. _Let's see…Opal's left. Yes! The last of the team we've assembled! Now she is left all alone…probably to shop._

"Well," Keeth thought aloud. "At least I'm _alive._"

'_Of course you're alive,'_ a voice in his head echoed. _'You're alive in hell.'_

"Shut up," Keeth said aloud once more. Then he slapped his own face for doing so. For Frond's sake, he was talking to his conscience. It must be mental disorder; the first sign of autism, perhaps.

Keeth had always been considered pessimistic. He didn't deny it, rather he was quite proud of it. Now he realized that a pessimistic attitude was a serious liability to himself. Thus he felt ashamed.

_Get a grip, Keeth Gates,_ he thought firmly. _The Keeth I know doesn't give up even in the harshest situations. There must be a way out._

The space between bars of the cell were too narrow, the windows too high to climb up. There weren't any roommates to find solace in, thus he could not request assistance. The walls were newly replastered without so much as a crevice. Howler's Peak must have been renovated to be escape-free in his absence. As he mused, he found himself plunging deeper into despair.

As several minutes passed, Keeth was starting to get angry with himself. _Artemis Fowl would never take this long to contrive a plan, _he thought, and he was right. It didn't take Artemis 5 minutes to make a temporary cryogenics pod for Butler.

_Let's think in Fowl's way, _Keeth thought. _Fowl's purpose for everything was money. _Everything._ His greed was implacable, yet controllable. He used his greed well, and as a result, prospered. What would he do? What would Artemis Fowl the Second do if he were to be in my shoes?_  
Money. That was it. He would use money.

Thoughts flashed back to his billion dollars in his human bank account, hidden safely. Before he knew it, he had reached out to grab the sleeve of a snoozing guard; his nametag said _John_. "Psst, John."

The guard whose name was John didn't budge, so Keeth reached out more further to grab his arm. He flinched, and woke up with a disgusted look on his face. "What d'ya want?" He demanded. His outlandish accent made him sound like a western cowboy in a Mud Man Movie.

Keeth knew that he did not have much time to explain. Also, dull fairies like this sentry didn't need an explanation for anything. He decided to cut to the chase. "Um, I got a billion dollars. I offer you half. 500 million. Want it?"

John's jaw dropped. "Are ya crazy?!"

Keeth smiled. "I'll take that as a no?"

"Are ya _nuts? _Of cours' I wan' it! But ya can't jus' gimme 500 billion dollars our o' nowhere, ya know."

"Sure I can," Keeth was fully convinced that this man was dumb. "It's a deal, dude. You free me, I give you money, and we flee together. Since your boss will be ready to fry your backside when there's a reprobate goblin missing."

John nodded. He didn't want to talk about the consequences when he had lost a convict.

"Man, it will be the life. You could prowl incognito anywhere. The beach, the mall, to work, you name it. I'll give you time to decide, sure. Take your time."

John had made up his mind before anyone could say "emancipation." Keeth was free.

* * *

**_Did you like my story so far? Be prepared, because it has barely begun. The real fun will begin soon:)_**


	16. Chapter 15 : Abduction

_**Ladies and gentlemen, I will now introduce you to the longest chapter ever. It is approximately 1 and 2/3 times longer than my other chappies, and I believe this will be the length of the rest of my chapters. Is everyone happy? -loud claps- Thank you. Thank you very much.**_

_**cybergurl: **So you like H/T as well, cool! Sorry, but that's about all you'll get of Trubs/Holly. I have to do A/D romance, and progress in the plot as well.. I just don't have enough time for H/T... -sighs-_

_**PeanutButterOreoCookieGirl99: **I don't blame you. I like Keeth as well, partially because he's my character, and because I like evil people like Opal and Arty and spunky people like Holly. Keeth fits into the first category._

_**neutralgal: **You like the first word. Hmm. Emancipation? Hehe. You're not writing any stories lately, are you having writer's block? I've had them before, I don't like them._

_**Princess Arwen Evenstar 77: **Here's the next chapter! And I'll look forward to your story!_

_**By the way, can anyone guess what will happen in this chapter? The chappie title kinda gives it away......

* * *

**_

**Chapter 15: Abduction**

**Downtown Haven**

Keeth stomped his foot vigorously on the sidewalk. Remember the good old days when you could steal a communicator from a LEP officer and use it as what humans called a 'walkie-talkie' with your fellow criminals? These days, when Keeth was within a 3-meter radius from a LEP officer, either Recon or Retrieval, it was bound to be a red alert. Alarms ringing, red lights flashing, the whole enchilada.

Thanks to them, that is the LEP, Keeth had no idea where Spiro was hauling his emaciated body. Nor Opal. He wouldn't be surprised if she was staring at a mountain of shopping bags, tiny hands clapping in delight. No doubt Spiro would notice the trembling of the detector; the problem was he wouldn't be able to contact Keeth in any way.

As he rolled his eyes and sank down to the floor in chronic stress, he noticed an immense red sign attached to a store window. It was an article from the Haven Times. The title read: "Alert. Watch out for threatening goblins." Something more amusing was the sub-title written in smaller letters beneath it: "Or are goblins all threatening?" Honestly. The freedom of the press was taken for granted in the Lower Elements, but this was just too much! True, all goblins with an exception to himself were no smarter than a rat, but they could read plain Gnommish. Imagine the fireballs the entire race would conjure up after reading the article. Quite destructive. Enough to make Haven look like it was never there.

It was hard to remember that he was wanted in every nook and cranny underground. _I should be more cautious,_ he thought as he shielded himself and started walking.

* * *

"This damn detector won't stop buzzing," Spiro muttered as he held the special device between his digits. "I mean, how do I know it's Keeth? It's really frustrating to have a vibrating detector in your hand while you don't know who's possessing it."

"Is that a K-sensor, by the way?" Opal asked.

"K-sensor?" Spiro repeated, and shrugged. "Never heard if it."

"If it is, then the vibration will grow to be more intense the more you get closer to the destination. The destination you are aiming for is, in this situation, Keeth Gates. D'Arvit, I had a design of it done just before I was rendered comatose, but someone had presumably stolen it. I should have protected it inside a security valve."

Spiro grimaced. "Just like Keeth. He's all about stealing and cheating. You can see it on his face."

"I have an idea," Opal began.

"Don't tell me. So what we have to do is notice the intensity of the vibration as we get closer to that goblin and try to find him in that way?" Spiro almost shouted at the last sentence. "That's the most inefficient method of hide-and-seek I've ever heard of. Come on, get a grip. Think about the time wasted."

"And that means you've got a better idea?" Opal retorted angrily. It was a very Opal-ish way of telling someone to shut up She cleared her throat and spoke again. "Well, my instincts tell me to turn at the next block. Let's go."

"Since when did we rely on mere instinct?" Spiro taunted.

"Nonsense, you fool. Haven't you heard of the adage 'Fairy intuition is never wrong?' Proverbs are there for a reason, and I suggest you follow me instead of telling me what to do."

Spiro fell silent. Certain fights were won by retreating. Besides, Opal was right; the K-sensor was trembling at a higher frequency, reminding him of the latest Fission Chips model of a cell phone at home. If he got home, the first thing he would do is try to make another model. _This time,_ he thought. _No C Cube would be able to unlock it…_

"Hmmm." Opal thought aloud. "Strange. If this is indeed the K-sensor that I designed, then Keeth Gates is supposed to be right where I'm standing." She glanced at the sensor now quaking so hard that Spiro was having a hard time trying to keep it in his hand.

"What did I tell you," Spiro replied. "I don't believe in intuition. It's similar to a superstition or something. What I do trust entirely is concrete knowledge."

"Whatever," Opal said, and continued her pondering. "Hmm. Why do I have a feeling that he's hiding?" With a quick jump, she landed on the road right beside the sidewalk, her fine high heels colliding painfully with something solid.

"OWWWW!"

* * *

Ever since a half ton of fairy gold became Artemis Fowl's own, every single LEP officer from Private to Commander had received a lecture from Holly, the 'AF incident' expert on the main characteristics of Fowl's plans. One of them was, 'There is always a Plan A and Plan B. Plan B is similar to Plan A, except for an unexpected twist at the very end.' Another one of them was, 'Only Fowl himself knows the entire scheme. He reveals the hidden plans one by one, driving everyone involved into ultimate insanity.' The last one was, 'There are_ so _many risks, although he lives for the day.'

Among the two elves that were involved with Artemis for the past two years, Holly had no doubt been the one who was more understanding and willing to take each and every risk provided. However, this particular risk she was about to take… well, she was seriously considering a play performance; her role was to break down in tears and have a fit.

_There is no way I'm going to do this._ Holly thought. _No way. Not unless a big brained, witty Mud Boy is down in Haven with an idea that will prevent chaos, or worse, genocide._

Holly sighed. Of course it had to be done. No matter how much she squeezed her brains, she could not possibly think of a better, more convoluted plan. After all, she was Captain Holly Short of the LEPrecon unit, for Frond's sake. The first female recon officer. The one and only Artemis Fowl expert. Frond and all the elfin kings that ever existed, Jesus, Buddha, whoever it was that humans believed in above ground… They wouldn't do away with Holly that quickly. She was indispensable. Or was she?

She thought of a blonde, grinning Lili Frond that was about to pounce in her place after the Council had shredded her badge into pulp. Holly was already becoming a convict; she had committed so many misdemeanors that Root didn't know what to do with her. For a start, she had assisted Fowl once again when it was decided in the Council to dispose of him. Not only that, but she had used the _mesmer_ on Opal, another fairy. It was a violation of the Booke.

Artemis spotted Holly and nudged her, pretending to lean back in his chair. Holly cleared her throat, but no sound would come out of her full lips. It was as if her vocal cords were petrified.

"Ahem," Artemis said, breaking the tension. "Holly wishes to say that she needs to check the LEP headquarters to see if there is any sign of Spiro and his partners."

Artemis said all this in a very rapid pace. Root nodded absently, chewing his fungus cigar until there was what looked like an explosion in his mouth. Foaly said "Sure" while checking his beloved screens. Diana and Juliet looked at them with a puzzled look; after awhile, Diana asked Artemis, "Why can't she talk?"

Holly opened her mouth again. Still no sound.

"Holly has a sore throat, and I am afraid she can't speak up for now." Artemis came to her aid.

"Uh-huh," Juliet narrowed her eyes. "Why don't I go with you?"

"No," Holly said, her words so abrupt that it was almost rude. Then she smiled sheepishly and said, "I mean, I don't think so. I mean, you're a human."

"I can wear that suit. You know, one of Foaly's latest inventions. Memory latex combined with thick threads of camouflage foil."

"Well… all right." Holly said. "But why don't I take Diana?"

"Why is that?" Juliet inquired, her narrowed eyes refusing to widen back to their original state.

Holly winked. "She's the smaller one, isn't she?"

* * *

"Now, you filthy goblin man, where the hell were you?" Opal demanded menacingly.

"I was in Howler's Peak, you idiot. The prison you're about to be thrown in after this is all over. I'm going to hand you in to the LEP."

"How?" Opal snorted. "I don't know, or much less care about what you think, but it seems to me that before you hand me in, you're going to be handed in yourself."

"Will you two shut up?" Spiro snapped. Being crammed inside a small room behind a trap did things to people. Especially if you were accompanied by a duo of bantering creatures.

"Right, I'll shut up. I'll shut up after I do something fatal to this poor lady."

"Don't you call me poor lady, you ignorant felon!"

"Oh, now who's calling who a felon?"

"I said, _shut up!_" Spiro commanded through gritted teeth. "Save your personal problems till later. She'll be coming here any minute, before we know it!"

"Right," Keeth concentrated on listening to the sounds coming from above him. "Hey, isn't that her?"

"Are you in your right mind? That women must be at least eighty, she's the janitor,"

"Captain Short's around eighty." Keeth said, obviously confused. He was not familiar with human age and measurements. "I'm almost a hundred myself."

"I meant in human standards." Spiro was having a hard time with his attempts to be amiable. The man hadn't tried to be friendly since he was four years old.

"Oh. Is that old?"

Spiro couldn't hear him, because of Opal's sudden scream. "_Ow!_ Someone stepped on my foot! Who took my shoe!?"

"Opal. Who in the name of sanity would want to take your shoe? I'm telling you for the hundredth time: get a grip."

It was dark, but Spiro could just make out Opal's pouting face. It was right then that Keeth chose to speak up. "She's here," he said gravely.

"How can you be so sure?" Opal asked, forgetting about her shoe temporarily as her mind filled up with delightful images of revenge.

"It's got to be her," Keeth pointed to the beam of light spilling out from the crevice. "Red hair, brownish complexion, dull green LEP suit."

"Then what are you waiting for? Pull the rope." Spiro commanded haughtily.

"But… There's something fishy about this situation."

"Fishy," Spiro repeated after Keeth. "What's so… _fishy?_" He apparently thought that 'fishy' was not that good of a word choice.

"Well, you see… she's standing in the dead center of the trap door. As if she already knew it was there. Not only that, but she has not moved an inch from that spot, not even twitched. Strange as it may sound, it seems as if she's actually waiting for all this."

"Which makes it all the better. Pull the rope."

Keeth yanked the rope. Something fell.

* * *

Holly knew exactly what to do with the girl walking beside her. Diana was so warm-hearted she would never approve of this preposterous act. She had no choice, but Holly decided to try speaking to her reasonably first. She cared about Diana, after all, she was her friend. Holly grabbed Diana's shoulders firmly and turned her. Holly had a big smile plastered on her face.

"Diana," Holly's grin widened. "I need you to turn back here."

Diana frowned. "Why? I want to go with you."

"This is, um, the restricted area." Holly said. "Only LEP captains and commanders are allowed here. Diana, of all places, if you're caught here, you're _toast_."

Diana considered this briefly. She did not want to be 'toast,' especially not the way Holly had said it. But Juliet had told her to keep an eye on Holly, for she had bought Juliet's suspicion. Diana was suspicious about Holly herself. "Nah. I think I'll go with you."

"Diana, no." Holly said firmly. "Turn back. Please?"

Diana crossed her arms. "No." she said obstinately.

"Yes."

"No."

Holly sighed. "Oh, fine." Diana grinned. Her grin vanished like water being evaporated as Holly's layered voice spoke to her, _"Diana, go back. Now."_

A drop of sweat trickled down Diana's neck as she resisted to the _mesmer._ "No," she rasped, glad that she at least managed to blurt out something.

"_Yes, Diana. Go back. Go back and tell the others that I'm fine. Accept it. Your will is mine for now."_

Diana's feet abruptly turned on their heels, and her legs began to move at a swift pace.

"_That's it. Good girl." _Holly watched Diana walk away. As soon as Diana disappeared at the other end of the corridor, she heaved out one exasperated sigh. She then walked over to the exact place where Artemis claimed the trap door would be.

_Trap doors,_ she had thought before. _How quaint. _However, thoughts such as this did not come to Holly's mind in this fateful moment. She felt as if she was on one of those rides at a Mud Man amusement park. The one that went way up into the air towards the sky, and fell in three seconds back to the ground again. She had ridden one of those at Disneyland Paris. Against the regulations, of course, but at night, shielded, and no longer visible to the naked eye. That particular ride was dubbed a 'ghost machine' and had not been operated for months.

Holly found herself chuckling at the thought of how gullible humans could get. _Relax,_ Holly thought to herself. _Just relax. Everything is going to be all right._

Isn't it only in movies and soap operas where the most startling situations come to you at the most unprepared moments? Because that was exactly when Holly fell into the trap, the chasm not giving Holly a moment to comprehend what had happened.

* * *

**_Wahh!! Holly got kidnapped! Don't kill me, I don't like it either! Wahh! -blows her nose-_**


	17. Chapter 16 : Conflicts

_**I have returned. Have any of you read my one-shot "A Lesson on Female Association?" It's a random fic I felt like writing. But that's just for fun. I guess I'm back to writing serious fics.. for now. (grins mischievously)**_

_**hehe: **Thank you! I'm glad you like my story. Keep reading, please:)_

_**cybergurl: **So you liked the little cliffhanger I left for suspense, eh? Don't worry, there are lots to come._

_**ruusa: **Thanks. I hope you'll keep reading!_

_**Lils Evans: **See? I told you:) I'm glad I have a new reviewer! If you're reading this chapter, then hurray!_

**_All my staunch reviewers seem to have abandoned me... Except you, cybergurl, and I appreciate it very, very much.

* * *

_**

**Chapter 16: Conflicts**

"Hey! I thought all of you were pretty smart guys," Diana said. "I told you, she's fine. How many times do I have to tell you?"

"Yes, Diana. We do understand you. It's just that... well, you don't seem to be in your right state of mind now." Root said, pronouncing each and every syllable steadily.

"Now what are you _talking_ about?" Diana shouted, pointing her index finger at Root. "Julius! It seems as if you're the one who's not in one's right mind!" She practically shrieked at the last sentence.

Artemis, Juliet and Foaly were utterly shocked. No one was meant to address Root in such an impertinent way. Especially when Root was emotionally disturbed, as in this situation. All three held their breaths as Diana plopped onto a chair and broke into a fit of snores. Much to their relief, Root was not so offended. He knew well that most humans were far from lucid when they were under the _mesmer_. Yes, as soon as Diana came through the door with a hypnotized expression on her face, he knew it had to be the _mesmer_. Who used it did not have to be doubted.

Root was not offended, but as it turned out, it was someone else that was seriously mad. No, mad didn't even do justice, for it was certainly not madness that caused Foaly to jump to his hooves, stalk over to Artemis, and punch him on the cheekbone with a painful _smack_.

Juliet gasped as her surprised Principal sprawled to the floor. This unexpected action certainly called Root's attention as well.

Foaly grabbed Artemis by the collar and forced him to stand on his feet. "You cold-hearted, squalid Mud Filth," Foaly hissed under his breath. He could barely contain his anger. "What have you done with Holly? _What have you done?!_"

Artemis had never seen Foaly so outraged. He decided it was not the time to play the innocent. "I know what you're thinking, Foaly, but it's not what you assume. If you would only give me a chance to explain-"

"Shut _up!_" Foaly let go of Artemis, causing him to loose his balance once again. "I don't give a D'Arvit about your explanations, okay? I thought I knew who you are. I still do, but it's the polar opposite of what I thought before. You're an egocentric, self-proclaimed genius. Yeah, that's exactly who you are."

Artemis fell silent. _I am_ not s_peechless_, he thought to himself_. I'm just staying still because Foaly is far too indignant to listen to what I have to say._

"You'll never know how much Holly worries about you. She used to call me at least five times a day after your mind-wipe took place about how she felt guilty about erasing your accomplishments from your head. Taking your memories from where they belong. You know why she and I decided to give your memories back? It's because Holly was _so_ sure that you've changed. She knew she was your friend. And this is what you do to her, what you give in return? You don't give a care about how she feels, do you? No, all you care about is you and your money and your preppy Armani suit."

Foaly drew closer to Artemis so that their eyes met. "I have one last thing to say to you, Fowl, and I won't repeat it. You are the foulest Mud Boy that ever dared to walk below the Earth. Do you hear me? You live by your name, Fowl."

Foaly shoved Artemis shoulder-to-shoulder, and walked away with Root. Just when he was out the door, he turned back and said something that pierced Artemis's mind like daggers. "If I lose one of my few friends because of you, I don't know what I'll do, so it's best that you run away when you have the chance."

Artemis could see that Juliet was unsure of what to do. After all, after Juliet had gone out on her first wrestling match, she had been notified of now being the legal bodyguard of Artemis, for her brother Domovoi had grown old. Madame Ko wouldn't abandon her Principal no matter what. If Juliet were to do that, after being berated fiercely, she would be deserted of all hopes of getting her blue diamond tattoo. Except she had decided long ago that she didn't want that tattoo anymore, nor emulate her brother's great feat. After apologizing to Artemis inwardly, Juliet followed the two out the door.

It was then Diana chose to wake up. She looked around the room with wide eyes, only to find that everyone was gone except Artemis. As she searched for the rest of her friends, she said to Artemis, "Where is everybody?"

Artemis didn't answer. He couldn't.

"Artemis?" Diana inquired once again cautiously.

Artemis choked down a sob. A _sob?_ He was breaking down in tears because of a friendship feud. If he had been told two years ago that he will have a conflict with a friend, much less make another one besides Butler, well, he wouldn't see himself in that way. But here he was, doing that exact thing. "They've gone to implement our plan. Why don't you catch up with them?"

"Okay," Diana said. "But what about you?"

"I have some more important affairs to complete, in order to tune our plan, make it impeccable. It's quite complicated, you wouldn't understand it." Artemis forced out a taut smile.

"All right, all right." Diana replied. "Whatever it is your doing, you'd better finish it soon. There isn't a person we can spare, in your exact words."

"No, there isn't." Artemis said. "You need not worry."

"See you later," Diana left the room along with a few strands of hope he had left. All that remained was a single thought he never knew he would ever think:

_What have I done?

* * *

_

**Somewhere above the Lower Elements**

The world was a handful of swirling colors. Dizziness. Yet so dark. Darkness swallowing hints of light in whole. Holly felt as if each of her eyelids weighed at least a ton. Merely opening her eyes needed quite a lot of effort. She opened one eye slowly. There appeared to be a excruciatingly bright, white light pulsing gently above her.

Holly struggled to stand up, and a few bones creaked. Although Holly was not aware of it, her ankle had been sprained from the fall and her healing powers had long since mended it. Blue sparks were dancing on her shoulder, for her arm had unfortunately parted with her socket. Holly popped it back in in a professional way. _No need to squander magic, _she thought. She checked her trigger finger, as she did every morning when she woke up. Still intact. It was a habit she had developed after she had lost her finger on a train in the Arctic Circle.

Where was she? She looked around the room in bewilderment. Her surroundings looked very much like those of a cell. She reached out to touch the cool concrete wall, but quickly drew back her hand in a sudden flash of realization.

Trapped!

Her mind was in a state of mass turmoil. The overdose of adrenaline caused her heart to pound in her ears at an alarming rate. This just had to be one of her nightmares. It turned out to be just a wishful thought.

"Rise and shine, Holly." A comely voice greeted her from a small screen in the corner of the room.

Holly's feet automatically moved toward the view screen. There was a chair so kindly provided just for her about 2 feet apart from the 12 inch monitor.

Inside the screen stood the infamous trio: Opal with her dangerous smile, Spiro standing out for he was far taller than the rest, and Keeth, waving idiotically at a shocked LEP captain with an asymmetrical smirk on his face. All three were not even close to being welcome in Holly's perspective.

"Gates," Holly whispered. "How the _hell_ did you get your backside out of that place." It was more of a statement than a question.

"I have my ways," Keeth replied, his smirk still filled with smugness.

"Ha ha," Holly muttered. "So you guys all think this is so funny, right? Like this is some kind of joke?"

"Awww, Captain Shorty is maaaaaad!!!" Opal howled with laughter at the new nickname, and Keeth doubled over with tears in his eyes.

Spiro quietly put a finger to his lips, requesting silence, and for once the two complied. Satisfied, he took his seat in the dead center of the screen so that he and Holly met face-to-face.

"Captain Holly Short," Spiro smiled, and Holly couldn't possibly imagine a smile more gruesome as this Mud Man's. "I've been anticipating our meeting."

Holly didn't say a word. Better to keep to herself, for she might give away a part of the plan.

"Not that you have much of a reputation," Spiro added quickly. "You are just one of those filthy elves that wander around outside my window." Opal and Keeth bobbed their heads in agreement, one curtly, and one furiously. It was miraculous that after all the criticism Spiro had received from the two fairies, he was taking the initiative at this moment.

Holly was seriously taken aback. 'Hey,' she almost blurted out. 'Don't you ever call my species benighted. Elves are by far the most intelligent species living underground, and our technology is about a century ahead of that Mud Man garbage you have right there.' She chose to say something more, if possible, friendly. "You've been looking forward to meeting me, you say. So, what's your impression?"

"Short," Spiro replied immediately, grimacing. "Even with fairy standards. One centimeter below the average height, which is a quite a difference when you have none to spare. Hmmm. Amazing how all my adversaries live by their names."

"Short is short and Fowl is foul," Keeth agreed.

Spiro gave him a shut-up-or-else look and continued. "You see what all this is leading to, fairy? You are defeated. None of your fairy or human allies will be coming to save you. Do you understand?"

Holly shut her mouth once again. She mustn't say anything, not one thing at all.

"What are friends for? Being emotionally attached causes weakness. I thought a self-proclaimed 'competent' elf like you would know something like that." He emphasized the word 'self-proclaimed' strongly.

"Have you gotten all that information stuffed into your thick skull? Have you realized the meaning of life? Why don't you think about that later, and meanwhile make yourself at home? For your sake, I will postpone further insults for now."

_Make myself at home,_ Holly rolled her eyes. _You wish.

* * *

_

**Police Plaza, near the Ops Booth**

A fuming centaur, a leprechaun full up to his ears in magic, and two young human girls were racing down the halls of the restricted area in Police Plaza. An explanation for those who have not yet witnessed this remarkable spectacle; it is most certainly not something that happens every day.

"Um, Foaly?" Diana was suddenly more timid than she used to be. "Where are we going? It seems to me that we're just haphazardly running around."

"No, we are not, and we're going to rescue Holly." Foaly replied as concisely as possible.

"And do we know exactly where she is?" Juliet asked.

No answer. Usually, a speechless Foaly meant something bad.

"What about Artemis? Juliet continued with her questions, but more soothingly so that she would not get on Foaly's bad side.

Foaly looked back for a brief moment, but only to give her a look that undoubtedly said 'Forget Artemis." His expression somehow implied that he wanted to throw a gnome into the air at the thought of broaching up Artemis as a subject of a conversation. That is, if hurling a gnome was virtually possible, which it wasn't.

"What about the plan?" Diana had to risk another question.

"Forget the plan." Foaly was being so taciturn, so unlike him. It was starting to frighten Juliet more than anything else she had encountered, despite her experience of body-slamming men twice her size and using her favorite wrestling technique, the 'clothesline' on famous wrestlers at least twice a day. Quite a mortifying experience indeed for a well-known wrestler to be defeated by a girl still to young to drink…

As their running reduced to a steady walk, all four people knew that something had gone so terribly wrong. What was more awful is that no one could do anything about it. A tad dramatic, but let's face it; they were doomed.

* * *

**Somewhere above the Lower Elements**

Holly exhaled her breath on the windowpane, the steam making the crystal clear window seem filmy. She watched as the steam slowly disappeared, leaving no trace of the steam mark there was before. She followed the raindrops flowing down the glass in tiny rivulets with her index finger gloomily, starting at the top of the window, and stopping near the windowsill.

She had sat before at the two cameras' blind spot, trying to enjoy herself worrying the three kidnappers to death by being unseen, but instead Opal had manacled her hands and tied her feet together with her new invention, the Digi-key. Theoretically it could only be removed by Opal herself. Holly was now sitting directly in front of a camera, bound to a chair that was not even comfortable. Needless to say that she was not pleased.

Her hands moved unconsciously to her belt near her hip, where her trusty buzz baton used to be, and not much to her surprise found that it wasn't there. She felt under her LEP suit jacket, where her favorite weapon, the one and only Neutrino 2000 was there at all times, and found… a gun in a holster?

Suddenly perked up in excitement, she hopped with her tied feet like a kangaroo, her chair following her every move. Not a very Captain-like stance, but Holly didn't have time for proper stances. Keeth, who was eyeing Holly without much movement, suddenly yelled out, "Short, what the hell do you think you're doing?!"

Holly ignored his shouts and took her seat once again at the cameras' blind spot. This was her only chance of escape. It meant she still had enough time before Artemis came. It meant they could move to Plan B, which was far more efficient than Plan A. It also meant that mistakes would not be allowed. Her hand reached for the gun but automatically stopped as she grasped the handle. This was a human dwelling, for Spiro was human. Was it really all right to escape without permission?

The sound of footsteps behind the door of her room really got her going. This was no time to be a hypocrite; she never had a thing for rules and planned to break them all. She drew out the gun, aimed briefly, and fired.

* * *

**_Aw. Okay. That wasn't so bad, was it? Just two cliffies in a row. Not so bad, right? (turns to see all her reviewers holding sharp objects and grinning menacingly) Oh. Oh. Okay. I promise. I'll be good, just not for a while..._**


	18. Chapter 17 : Rescue

_**Must I say it? I'm back. I'm back to faithfully update my fic on Saturday (as I planned) after a week of doing whatever it is I do. People were seriously offended by the cliffie on the last chapter, and I was really scared.But I'm really evil, so I like to leave people shuddering with anticipation, hovering in suspense, holding onto a branch on a cliff, just about to fall... for at least one solid week. Now you got the answer to the cliffhanger.**_

_**RaevanDawn: **So you reviewed my story! And you really liked it. Except you were just about to ...er... murder me with that sharp object. It's about time to update your story, Darkness, too! (And you get more H/T)_

_**ruus: **Thanks. Are you ruusa from chapter 15? If so, that's very nice because anonymous reviewers seldom come back. Actually they never do, you're the first. Why don't you register at FF? I mean, I know it's your business, but that way you'll be more appreciated:)_

_**Princess Arwen Evenstar 77: **Well, that's right you did come back, so I guess I'll forgive you. I hope you didn't kill someone._

_**neutralgal: **And you're back as well. Thank you for pointing out that mistake, I fixed it, thanks to you:) _

**WARNING(first warning ever?):** Totally-unexpected ending to this chapter. Beware.  
Totally-uncalled-for OOC. Make sure you don't hyperventilate or something.

* * *

**Chapter 17: Rescue**

She drew out her gun, aimed briefly, and fired.

And missed.

_Missed?_

"Argh!" There came an agitated yell from outside Holly's room. A second later, Keeth burst in with Spiro right beside him, only to find a flabbergast LEP captain staring incredulously into the now-shattered window. All three faces were flushed with frustration.

"What do you think you're doing, shooting the window like that?!" Keeth yelled. "Oh, I get it. You just thought you could fly out the window without being noticed, didn't you?"

Holly didn't pay the least bit of attention to him. She didn't feel a thing as Spiro pushed her so hard that her knees buckled, her gun flying askew.

"I hate hostages when they rebel. I _hate_ them. You know that, don't you Keeth?"

"Yeah, I sure do. I understand. Now why don't you-"

"No, wait a minute. _Wait a minute. _I'm going to show this girly just how much I hate revolts."

Keeth held both of Spiro's arms behind his back unsuccessfully. He watched as Spiro was about to decapitate the seemingly frozen captain in the very least. "Think again, Jon, and don't lay a finger on her," he blurted.

Two heads turned in surprise. "What?" Spiro inquired in disbelief. "What's the matter with you? If it's that crush you had on her, then get over it, will you?"

"No, Jon. It's nothing of that sort. Just wanted to remind you that you seem to have completely forgotten the purpose of this abduction. You've basically forgotten our plan."

Spiro froze in midmovement, and stood up to regain his posture. "Ah, yes. The plan."

"_Yes,_ the plan. And if you don't want to screw it up before we've barely begun, then get your backside out of here_, right now!_"

"All right." Spiro replied. Then he turned to Holly like a tiger with its fangs bared and said, "You were lucky this time, girly, but keep in mind that I never spare people I don't like." There was no need for anything more to be said.

After the two left, Holly let out a scream of aggravation, and it had nothing to do with Spiro calling her 'girly.' She was stupefied by the accident she had caused.

Holly Short missed a shot. Wait till Foaly gets to know this. It will be a whole riot. She felt completely mortified, for it was quite a disgrace for a Captain like her. She had plenty of both virtual and real practice since she was a cadet, knocking down paper fairies like it was nothing from fifty meters back. The shot she had made now was barely a two-meter shot. How could she have been so _careless?_

She picked up her gun and examined it, determined to find the cause of this unintentional accident. The color, she could see, was not the gray hue of her Neutrino, but a licorice black. Much to her surprise, it was a human gun used most inefficiently on one of those action movies Foaly had downloaded onto his computer; _Mission Impossible._

Of course. Holly stopped her self-torment as she suddenly understood what had happened. She had made a reckless move by not checking what gun it was that was hidden under her jacket. She had grabbed a gun before falling into the trap accidentally on purpose (she hoped none of her friends had seen that) without looking, because... well, it was so obvious that it was a Neutrino. All LEP officers used Neutrinos, for the Demolishers were still in progress. It was an all-known fact. But there it was, a human gun shining proudly as though it had _anything _to be proud about. Mud Man rifles had recoils, fairy guns did not. It was all crystal clear.

To her dismay, the gun had had one single dart, and she had wasted it off by shooting it out the window. All she could do for now is wait.

"Hey, what's that you have there? Is that the gun you were shooting with?" Keeth smirked from the screen. "Don't you think it's just a bit pathetic, using one of those Mud Man guns?"Holly ignored him, still regretting the fact that she hadn't listened to the lectures back in school about shooting. Never be trigger-happy, and grip a gun tightly no matter how skilled you are. If she hadn't slackened her grasp so much, she would have overcome the recoil…. Oh well. Better not cry over spilt milk. "Where am I?" she asked to the goblin on screen.

"Well, that's the first sensible thing you've said all day." Keeth said, mildly surprised. "We are, as a matter of fact, in a duplicate of Fowl Manor, which is located only twenty klicks from the estate itself."

"Hmmm." No wonder her cell looked so familiar. "So may I ask why did you build a replica of Artem- Master Fowl's manor?"

"None of your business," Keeth scoffed. "That's the part of our plan, dimwit."

Holly heaved a sigh dramatically. Time to use a more confidential technique. From the pocket of her LEP suit trousers she took out what looked like an egg-shaped, milky white device with an earpiece attached. A whisper amplifier, and for once it was not one of Foaly's uncountable inventions. It was actually what Artemis had put together with an earpiece of a Walkman, certain parts of an amplifier, and a case from a box of individually wrapped Easter chocolate eggs his mother had insisted on buying him. All at age seven, and this creation was the result of his boredom in first grade. It won half a dozen prizes in high school science fairs. A perfect device that Foaly, unbelievably, had not thought of for the espionage world. It was barely the start of his ingenuity.

Back to Holly. She smiled at the name "Artemis Fowl II" written in abnormally neat handwriting for a boy seven years of age. She placed it on one of the speakers of the screen where a goblin was no longer visible. She stuck the earpiece to her ear and was impressed at the amazing quality. If she didn't know any better, she would have thought the three schemers were right beside her.

"Okay, Keeth," Spiro started. "Remind me again why I can't blow that girly captain to smithereens."

Holly could picture Keeth rolling his eyes. "Because, Jon, we have to leave her in perfect condition until we get a Recon and Retrieval squad. We'll say that Holly Short is held for ransom once again at Fowl Manor. The blame will be turned to Artemis Fowl. Do you remember the program I downloaded from the centaur's computer?"

"But you couldn't have beaten Foaly's paranoia," Opal argued. "He invents a new language for every single one of his files. You couldn't have possibly downloaded the bio-bomb program just like that." Opal snapped her fingers in order to stress out the words 'just like that.'

"I have numerous disguises, Opal dear. One of my disguises was a professional warlock who unfortunately passed away before the whole procedure was mechanized. Did something wrong with the lithium batteries. I was surprised that his profile actually existed posthumously. Apparantly Foaly had opened up his file for the warlocks who set up the time field."

"But- well, you don't know a thing about the time stop, do you? It's not all that simple. You have to set up a whole network of receiver dishes around the area. Don't tell me you did that without being noticed by the Fowl family."

"As a matter of fact, you, Opal, are the one who's one step behind the rest of the people. Foaly updated the system. Now everything is done by the computer only. No warlocks, no receiver dishes, no more ruckus around the area. He did it for his own LEP's convenience, but it only made it easier for us."

Opal was satisfied. She couldn't help but let out a snicker of contentment.

"Okay. Eventually the squads will arrive at the estate-"

"Only to find no one there," Opal chimed in happily.

"Exactly," Keeth continued. "For I have set a one hour time stop on that area and a bio bomb will be detonated in ten minutes. While they're inside Fowl's home puking their insides out, we'll lead Holly's fellow friends here instead of the actual manor."

"And we'll go get the Demolishers." Spiro finished for him.

"Yes, that's pretty much it, and after we possess the guns there's no need to say anything about what we'll do." All three fell silent.

Holly couldn't resist a smile. Their plan was overall foolish as foolish can be. Every little fairy knew that a certain twelve-year-old Irish boy had discovered a way to escape the time-stop. Butler would certainly notice that the clocks had stopped and the entire family will each have a swig of sedatives.

"You're all wondering about the blue-rinse, aren't you? I mean, about how Fowl identified a way to slip ever so elusively out of the time field?"

Silence continued. Holly figured that they were nodding. She still had that smile on her face, yet it had waned a bit. While it was nearly impossible that Keeth could outmaneuver Artemis, the way he was bidding his time was causing suspicion.

"I made sure this time that all the clocks are working. Not only the clocks, but the Internet as well. I couldn't do anything about the television, because it was local, but it is highly unlikely that any of the family members will turn on the TV. Their entire family hardly watches anything except finances."

Two faces brightened up, while Holly could feel the color drain from her face. _Surely _Butler was way too attentive not to notive. Surely. Or was he?

* * *

"Hmmm." Butler tapped his wristwatch with a puzzled look on his face. While the rest of the clocks in the manor were indicating exactly 4:45, his watch had stopped at 4:00 sharp. Assuming that the battery was dead, he rummaged through the drawers in his room in search for a small, circular battery.

When he didn't find what he was looking for, he went down a long, long staircase, and after what seemed like forever, he arrived in the living room. Beneath the television screen that was hung on the wall there was a set of small drawers. He found the batteries in the first drawer. As he stood up with the miniscule batteries in his hand, his knuckle inadvertantly brushed the "Power" button on the screen.

Oblivious to the now turned-on screen, Butler devoted all his concentration on replacing the new batteries with his relatively massive hands. After battling continuously with the wristwatch, he finally succeeded. "Yes," he said softly as he looked up at the TV.

There appeared to be a news anchor with his mouth wide open, obviously in the middle of saying something. This scene was captured in a quite undignified facial expression for a news anchor, and at any other time it would have been hilarious. But that was the least of Butler's worries.

After staring at the TV skeptically for a few moments, Butler diverted his attention to the watch once again. It wasn't working.

Butler could feel something ominous in his bones, and his intuition was one that was more accurate than any other fairy. This time, his instincts told him to step out, into the backyard.

_I wonder if something something happened to Artemis, _he thought, but as he thought it he knew he was wrong. Something very bad was happening to him in this house in when-knows-who, and it seriously bothered him that he didn't know what it was.

"Gee, Timmy." Butler recognized Angeline's voice before he stepped outside. "What happened to all the blue jays and doves and robins? Did you scare them away?"

"Actually, no." Artemis Fowl the First replied, keeping his jolly tone he had gained after healing at the hospital. He had not noticed the absence of the birds until now. "I do wonder where they are. I don't even hear a peep."

Butler's veins pulsed. If what he thought was happening right now, then he only had-(he glanced at the clock) about three minutes to save their lives. He was most certain- almost, he wasn't sure whether it was a hallucination or not- that he saw patches of light blue here and there. He ransacked the entire kitchen searching for edible tranquilizers until the kitchen turned upside down and inside out. He took the steps four at a time to his room and came back with three injections of sedatives Master Fowl had told him to keep just in case. Good old Artemis. Always thinking of everything.

He slid the door of the patio again and came out, being careful to hid the tranquilizers behind his back.

Artemis Senior and Angeline were sitting side-by-side, apparently enjoying some leisure time together. It pained Butler to have to fool them; however, he was fully convinced that it was best to take them unaware, and besides, he did not have time for emotions such as guilt. If what he thought was going to happen was actually happening, that is.

He tried to remember how he shot the sprite in Ho Chi Minh City, before this had all begun. He noticed a visible artery in both of their arms and quickly pressed in the soporific. Angeline immediately fell cold, but Artemis had ample time to turn around and rasp in a hoarse voice, "Butler."

"I'm sorry, sir. I'll explain later." Butler bowed his head.

Artemis closed his eyes. Now Butler had one injection left in his hand. He stared at it, and gulped. He closed his eyes and made the shot, although not exactly in a deft manner; much to his disbelief, it was a frightening experience to pierce his skin on his own even for a man with prodigious strength like himself. He fell sound asleep in about five seconds, his eyes remaining closed.

A few moments later, dead corpses of ants, fleas, and even a couple of mice fell to the floor. A goldfish turned on its belly.

* * *

"Foaly?" Artemis's urgent voice emitted from Foaly's earpiece. "You've got to come back. You do remember our plan, don't you?"

Foaly made a show of snorting into his microphone and ignoring him in the most obvious way possible: to keep talking. "Hey, Julius. I can't locate Holly anywhere. She must have forgotten her locator. Funny how she took all her weapons and all, but forgot her locater. Hmm. Isn't that funny, Julius?"

After hearing Foaly receive a grumpy 'Don't call me Julius.' from Commander Root, Artemis continued. "Foaly. I know I sound to you like an all-business man, but this is very important to me. I hope you understand that. Now if you would be so kind as to listen to me-"

"You listen up, Mud Boy," Foaly shot back angrily. "We all hate you, you got that? What's so, 'important' about some lousy plan when you don't have the trust of your allies to be on your side? I'd really like to know that."

Silence followed. Foaly tapped his mouthpiece smugly. "Well? Is our Arty-genius stumped?"

"I don't want to lose her." Artemis mumbled.

"What?" Foaly couldn't believe his ears. "_What?!_"He blew in his earpiece to make sure it was functioning properly. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"I said, I don't want to lose her!" Artemis shouted before he had the time to pull himself together, then cleared his throat with embarrassment. "I have realized what I've done, but don't take this the wrong way. I do not regret Holly's purposeful abduction, yet I do regret the fact that I did not inform you of that part when I was explaining my plan. I should have received your permission. I did not. I thought I could do everything on my own, as I had done all along as the heir of the Fowl fortune. I was wrong."

Foaly's mouth dropped open. A realization of his lack of morality, _on top of _the admittance that he was incorrect? Was this really the Artemis Fowl he knew?

"Holly's my friend, as you kindly pointed out for me. As a matter of fact, she is one of the few friends I will ever have. That is the reason I don't want to lose her. We have no other logical choice but to implement our plan. It is not about business, it's not about crime. As fantastic as it may seem, it's about saving the subterranean world along with the one life that I care about. That is, apart from my parents and the Butlers."

Foaly was still gaping at Artemis's monologue. _I must be dreaming, _he thought as he reached down to pinch himself. It hurt, so it was no dream. There was no way that the boy who was now speaking to him was identical to the person who had abducted a fairy ever so callously for ransom two years ago.

The centaur turned off his speaker before the Fowl boy could add another word. It was inconceivable that the criminal mastermind would be so out of character. The next thing he expected was for Artemis to burst out in tears and say, "I love you dearly, Foaly!"

"What's the matter, Foaly?" Diana asked hopefully. This must be it. He must have forgiven Artemis.

Foaly opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again. He didn't know where to start.

"Cat got your tongue?" Diana inquired teasingly. Now she fully knew. This really must be it. Whatever it was that Artemis did, and however horrendous it was, it would all be forgiven. Now she had no interest in the reason for this sudden runaway.

Foaly could barely let out three words. "Artemis has changed."

Root looked up from organizing the numerous gadgets on his belt. "You're getting real weird, pony-boy. You're frightening me. Do you need some food? Are you cautiously asking for a carrot cake? Is that it?"

Foaly gulped. "I'm sorry for all this time wasted, and I'm sorry for having a reality problem. But why don't we go back? Like I said, Artemis has changed."

Of course, now Root got upset with him for being so volatile, but he didn't care; all he could think about at the moment was recording Artemis's little speech and mailing it to the nearest broadcasting center. It was hot news. The world would see it and all feel the same way. That meant something beyond lucre.

* * *

**The Duplicate of Fowl Manor**

Let's cut to the chase here; Holly was desperate. Who wouldn't be in her shoes? She needed a way out, obviously. But more obviously, she couldn't find one. Well, at least the Digi-key and the chair were long gone, and she was sitting on the floor freely. The plan was for Artemis to come for her within 18 hours, but she couldn't spot a hair of the usually punctual Artemis. Which explains why her mind was getting more panicky by the minute and it was showing.

Which is also why she jerked with hope when she heard a mysterious sound beneath her feet. _It must be Artemis, _she thought, feeling relieved for the first time this day. It miraculously did not occur to her that Artemis was definitely not the first man who would volunteer to dig a tunnel beneath a duplicate of his own house. Or underneath any house, for that matter.

When the floor cracked and split open in a jagged circle to reveal a masterpiece of a solid tunnel, Holly cried out "Artemis!" more delightfully and loudly then she intended to.

The creature inside shook his brown hair. Brown? "Uh-uh. Not Artykins."

The astonishment she felt as soon as Holly saw her rescuer's face could not possibly be expressed in words. "MULCH?!"

* * *

**_BAD REVIEWERS! How DARE you forget about everyone's favorite smuggler, Mulch! As a consequence for no one pointing out that deliberate mistake I made by just leaving out Mulch until now, you get THREE cliffhangers in a row! (this time reviewers are holding machine guns and nuclear bombs) Now now. Don't have to use heavy measures. Why don't you just confess? You hate me. I know it. Of course, in order to do that, you have to review._**


	19. Chapter 18 : Surprises

_**I'm having these ideas bubbling and rearranging themselves so that they transform from completely pointless and insane to rational. I have good ideas for humor, romance, a what if type of story, and a nice story with a decent plot. I don't know what to do with them, they're all for either Animorphs and Artemis Fowl, and I don't know where to start. I'm getting confused. In order to start any of this I have to get my story over with. Which I hope to do, and in a jolly fashion too.**_

_**neutralgal: **I looked in the books and they never mentioned Mulch's hair color. How could they? I mean, hair color is of the essence! Grr... Anyway, all they said about Mulch's hair is that it's stiff and sensitive. I'll keep it brown, because I have this feeling that it's got to be brown, and no one can convince me otherwise:)_

_**Teya Yashitoda: **Not my birthday cake, please never my birthday cake! Oh, the horror! I surrender! You get a nice ending because of your horrible threat._

_**cybergurl: **I'm so glad you think this is awe-imspiring enough to exclaim, "Oh my god!" So you're the type that likes romance. And unfortunately I don't, because romance is not the POINT here... ButI am including some very subtly, both A/D and H/T._

_**Artemis Fowl II: **Thank you! I hope you'll continue reading!_

_**Miko Yamaguchi: **Thank you very much! Oh, and you and Teya Tashitoda sound very Japanese._

_**TrunkZy: **Haha, I'm so happy you're back! So you like Spiro and Mission Impossible. And no, I do not know what a klick is, just that it's a type of measurement of distance... And thanks to you I have successfully figured out what WTF stands for after incessant pondering, and I'm veryamused... And I agree, I totally love Mulch. He's wicked._

**_HAHA! Stay tuned! I don't wanna invent a hilarious commercial and I'm going for the chapter!

* * *

_**

**Chapter 18: Surprises**

"MULCH?" This was beyond outrageous.

Mulch winked. "I really got you this time, didn't I?"

They stood, staring at each other in shock of this uncalled-for reunion. Eventually Holly got to her senses. Hesitating for merely a moment as she glanced into the bottomless pit, she grabbed Mulch and jumped into the abyss.

All the could hear as they went down were their yells of half-horror, half-glee, but soon they heard Spiro's voice hoarse with infuriation, and Opal's bloodcurdling scream as her mental images of revenge flew away with Holly's escape.

"She wants me." Mulch said as they landed on the ground.

Holly rolled her eyes, but she had to laugh at this ludicrous statement. "She wants you? In your dreams."

"I'm an attractive little dwarf, you know." Mulch winked again. "It's just that you don't have the right eyes for boys."

"Yeah, right," Holly replied. "Attractive dwarf, answer my question: What are you doing here?"

"I think the right question would be, 'Where have you been?' 'What are you doing here?' is an immensely rude question for someone who just saved your life."

"All right then. Where have you been? Answer my question," Holly was firm when it came to asking questions. She needed an answer.

"Well, I had gone missing the whole time, and none of you even bothered to look for me. But I guess that's the happy little life of the criminal empire, eh? No one appreciates him."

"Well, I'm sorry, Mulch." Holly tried her best to sound sincere. "It must have escaped my mind. There was so much clamor going on these days."

"It escaped your mind," Mulch repeated. "It seems as if nothing ever escapes you except your own mind. How elusive." They were already near the end of Mulch's masterpiece, and the rain was less dense than it used to be and had reduced to a few drops every now and then.

"Nah, but it's al right. Because everything escapes your mind except the thought of your beloved Trubs-"

"Hey!" Holly tried to keep her cool, she really did. But her countenance was already turning a strawberry red. Oh, how she hated when people mentioned Trouble around her. It made her embarrassed more than anything else in the world, and she didn't know why.

"Well, then, Mrs. Kelp." Mulch bowed with a satisfied grin on his face. "Goodbye till you need me. Adios." The dwarf handed Holly a few things and was gone before Holly could react, or even realize that Mulch hadn't provided an explanation for her question.

Oh well. Mulch could take care of himself. But Mrs. Kelp? _I'm only eighty. Still way too young to marry._ Holly thought in disbelief as Mulch's words sank in. She found it hard to admit that the thought of her new family name didn't seem like such a bad idea.

_Where is Artemis, anyway? _As soon as she brushed away her happy thoughts she instantly became just as much annoyed._ I bet he changed the plan again on his own. Just wait till I get to him, and he'll be nothing but a pile of broken bones._

It was then she looked down at her hand to identify the object Mulch had handed her. It was her wafer-thin locator and communicator she had left behind on purpose. It was no wonder that Mulch was given the name 'The best stealer in written history.' He even had the guts to raid the possessions of those he knew.

Nevertheless, Mulch made a good choice of items; it was all just what she needed for now. Writing a mental note to thank Mulch _someday_, she decided to contact the place where at least one person will stay in guard; Foaly's Ops booth.

* * *

**The Ops Booth**

Even Artemis was startled at his own words. He could not possibly believe that he had been the one to deliver such an emotional speech. But he had to admit a fact that he had been denying ever since the Arctic incident; he had changed. Even more so since he had regained his memories and been with Diana.

Diana. Her very name gave him an inexplicable feeling. Despite her exotic appearence, she was actually just a normal teenager. And in spite of her normalcy, she really was not normal at all (most people associating with Artemis were far from normal). Unlike some girls at the co-ed school near St. Bartleby's which Artemis had grown a natural abhorrence to, Diana wasn't a stupid blonde who only cared about her looks and spent all her money on makeup, clothes, and accessories. She wasn't a gorgeous, conspicuous red-head either. Her normal clothes were usually jeans, sweatshirts with hoods, courderoy jackets and parkas for winter. She despised high heels just as much as Artemis loathed girls and wore sneakers 24/7. She thought makeup and perfume were the 'yuckiest stuff in the world', and confessed that she never had a liking for over-fabircated jewelry.

"Hello. I'm back," A voice echoed throughout the operation booth. Artemis started, but recognized Holly's voice and gazed calmly into the computers in front of him. Sure enough, Holly's face soon popped into view on one of Foaly's screens.

"Holly," Artemis said. "I'm so relieved that you are safe."

"You'd better be," Holly muttered. "If it weren't for Mulch... well, I suppose I wouldn't be here talking to you."

"Mulch?" Artemis questioned. Then a look of realization crossed his face. "I suppose he was the one who brought your communicator and locator?"

"Yeah. He seemed a bit mad. You know, because we just forgot about him and all." Holly grimaced.

"Hmmm," The boy genius was deep in thought. "Do you reckon we can use him in our plan?"

"No, I do not reckon. He's very evasive. Here one second, there another. Just leave him alone, that's his life. Anyway, where is everybody?" Holly jerked within the scope of her miniscule viewscreen to spot her fellow friends. "I don't see anyone."

"Out," Artemis replied. "Foaly and the others turned out to be not so satisfied with your abduction. They were, in fact, a bit...ah... irritated."

"Irritated. Well, they must have been more than a bit irritated to run away so irresponsibly like that. So what are you going to do without them?"

"We have already made up," The Fowl heir shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "I impressed them by giving quite a sentimental speech."

"_Sentimental?!_" Holly smacked herself in the head in mock aggravation. "Oh, gods! I can't believe I missed that!"

"Very amusing, Holly. I'll tell them you're safe afterwards when they get back. And when we are all reunited you can listen to my speech once again, for Foaly has no doubt recorded it for the media. But after we finish our plan successfully. We're running late, don't you forget that. By the way," Artemis added with a smile, "Tonight is a full moon."

Holly smiled, but didn't say anything. There was a tinge of worry in the Mud Boy's voice. The rise of the full moon meant it must have been at least fifteen days since he was missing from his family, and it concerned him quite much, although he tried not to show it by his expression.

"I know you still have an adequate amount of magic, but in the meantime, why don't you go and refresh yourself with a new dose ? That shall cheer you up."

"Right." With a faint _bleep_, Holly's face disappeared from the screen.

Approximately fifteen minutes later, Artemis and his friends were reunited. Root gave him a gentle pat. Juliet just squeezed his hand affectionately, knowing that was exactly the amount of skinship that Artemis would allow. To Artemis, however, it seemed as if Juliet was smothering his hands, to put it mildly. Diana reached out to encompass Artemis in an embrace, but drew back in alarm once she saw what Juliet was doing to him.

Foaly just stared at him. When Artemis could no further ignore the hole being burned into the back of his head, he turned to face the quadruped centaur. "Do you have something to say to me, Foaly?"

"No," Foaly replied almost immediately. "Well... maybe just one thing: I'm sorry for misunderstanding you, okay? I shouldn't have been so impulsive to judge you by one act."

"That's quite all right," Artemis said, still facing Foaly eye-to-eye. "After all, as I said before: It was partially my fault."

"Right," Foaly said, still looking at him as if he were seeing Artemis for the first time in his life. In a way, he actually was. The Artemis he was seeing was the brand-new, renovated Fowl genius that was a whole different person from himself about an hour ago.

While this tearjerking reunion was taking place, there was another person who was becoming newly renovated. Holly Short was recharged up to her pointy ears with magic, more fiery with determination than ever, and as for the people who even bothered to stand in her way, too bad for them. They would be screaming and falling into the netherworld for millennia.

* * *

**Fowl Manor**

It was nearly 10 o'clock at night when Butler awoke. For a moment, he was deeply puzzled, for he did not know the reason why he had fallen asleep in the patio of Fowl manor. He turned to look at Artemis Junior's parents, and then at the slightly red spot on his skin where he had injected himself. He looked at his watch which was now functioning properly, and went inside to check CNN. The television was working. Oh boy. This was going to take a lot of explanations.

He went back out and looked as Angeline stirred and nestled closer against her husband. The breeze was warm, so there was no worry of them catching a cold. What he _had_ to worry about was how to explain to them why on earth their manservent had sneaked up behind their backs and made a shot each of liquid soporifics. It was enough to be perceived as insane. Or, for the matter, why Artemis had still not returned after more than two weeks of his so-called business trip.

Butler sat down on the soft grass of the backyard in a meditating position that Artemis used often and began his contemplation. Who could have set up a time field in Fowl Manor? The time-stop was a device used only by the LEP.....No. That theory made absolutely no sense. If Artemis Junior was in the Fowl estate, it would have been a predictable action; at merely fourteen, he was not without enemies. All Butler could do for now was to continue his thinking, and pray that the Fowl couple will never wake up until the day Artemis came back. Talk about high hopes.

* * *

**Haven, Lower Elements**

If the infamous trio thought Recon was a servant that would come to their service with a snap of their fingers, they were undoubtedly mistaken. All orders went through Commander Root, him being one of the best commanders in the last millenium. If this was not a part of their plan, Root's terrible complexion would have turned into the hue of a ripe tomato's, barking out threats harshly to incapacitate whoever was not taking the Lower Elements Police seriously.

Police Plaza was stark and desolate as a desert. Root had purposely evacuated the area, and now the formerly crowded department was devoid of all people. Instead, selected officers huddled ever so uncomfortably shielded in trees. The novices expected men-in-black-suits, tumbling-past-bullets, oh-so-cool-kicks-and-punches, and please-we-surrender utter victory like those witnessed in the local cinemas. The experienced knew better than to reminisce the movie they saw last night. These people were all business. Which is why it must be pointed out that those hovering in trees were selected professionals.

Meanwhile, in the Ops Booth, thanks to the unappreciated genius pony-boy, they found out two identical mansions exactly twenty klicks apart from each other. Several officers were to be sent slowly to the house farther from Dublin, but only to make sure that Spiro and their accomplices were on their way. A couple of officers, in fact, aka Captain Trouble Kelp and Corporal Grub Kelp. One was a chosen, the other was a voluntary.

"Grub," Root grasped the corporal by his shoulders. "Are you absolutely sure you can handle this?"

"Sure, commander," Grub replied with a tinge of unnecessary confidence. "Don't mistake me for a child any more, sir. No more crying over hangnails. No more tattling to Mommy. After all, I'm the only officer who had ever stood up for myself in front of the formidable Butler."

Trouble kneaded his forehead. "Not again, _please_ not the Butler tall tale again, Grub!"

Grub pouted. "You're just jealous, brother Trub, because you're not the one to get all the attention. Mommy was very proud of what I did."

"Captain Kelp," Root called Trouble's attention. "Remember, all you need to do is check if the three have already left. Of course I trust you, Kelp, but if Grub starts getting all huffy and puffy with bravado again, then I advise you to abandon him and go out on your own.Understood?"

"Yes sir,"

"Good," Root added after a pause, "Oh, I almost forgot. If Grub has another hangnail, leave the area immediately."

Trouble rolled his eyes in amusement. "Yes sir."

"Captain Kelp?" Artemis called out questioningly.

The addressed captain turned around in surprise. Sure, he had heard of the one and only Artemis Fowl, after all, all people with more than half a brain knew all about him. Only Trouble didn't know him personally, so it was the first time they were talking one-on-one. "Yes?"

Artemis smirked, glancing at the fidgeting Holly behind him. "Apparantly Captain Short has saved a comment for you. Or, more accurately, she has worked up the nerve to talk to you, should I say?"

Embarrassed, Trouble kept his gaze sideways, ignoring the music effect his little brother was putting on by whistling. He and Holly were not always like that; they were friends to start out with, but lately neither could deny they felt toward each other a special feeling more than friends could feel. "Short. What is it?"

Holly had straightened up and returned to her spunky old self. She winked. "Nothing, Trouble. Just wanted to tell you to be careful. And take care of the corporal. You know how much a pain in the neck he can be."

Trouble was put into a trance by Holly's wink, but eventually stepped beside it. "Yeah. Um, sure. I'll be careful." With that, the two walked out to settle down in one of Foaly's pods. Another journey to the world above.

At the same time, Holly slumped in her chair, completely aware of Artemis's grin he was unable to suppress. "Oh boy," she muttered. "Was that hard."

* * *

**Near the Duplicate of Fowl Manor**

Two shimmering layers of air emerged from the darkness, grateful to be out of the tiny titanium pod. Tiny even in the fairies's standards. Foaly is definitely what most people would call a genius inventor, but to most people's dismay he knows nothing about convenience. But that's not the point.

"Captain Kelp, is there anything I can do," Grub said to Trouble in his business tone. He really had changed, although not exactly in a good way. Trouble actually missed his brother whining for his mommy and crying over minor concussions and droning on and on about the Butler incident, which to tell the truth, Captain Kelp indeed wanted to forget about. Or calling him Trubs and even by his former name Grub had swore on all his LEP weapons to never tell a soul.

"Hush," The captain rolled his eyes. "We're not even in the area yet, corporal. Keep quiet."

"Yes sir," the corporal replied. "Keep quiet."

Trouble felt a sudden sting in his eye as the iris-cam in his left eye magnified his vision by five. He focused his live-feed camera on the nearest window. "All clear," he said into his microphone. "I'm going in."

He hovered by the windowpane of what had been Holly's cell. It was completely empty except the giant hole penetrating through the dull-colored floor.

"Corporal," Trouble muttered. "Double check the top two floors for any signs of life. You know what to do."

"Yes sir!" Grub shouted with glee. He flew up a route that seemed endless to the top of the estate. Trouble honestly feared for him. If he were to make another one of his careless mistakes, and anything would happen to him... Well, Grub was his _brother_.

After one hour of thorough surveillance, it was easily discovered that nothing so much as a fly was lurking in the manor. "Human, goblin,or pixie is nowhere to be seen. The entire manor is vacant. The three reprobates must be on their way. The gods know how."

"Roger," Foaly's tinny voice replied.

Trouble rubbed his hands inwardly in anticipation. Apart from their feelings from each other, this was another thing he and Holly Short had in common; they couldn't resist adventures and some fun. They got bored out of their skull every so easily if they didn't have any nervewracking experiences within the week. They had both been signing piles of papers that never seemed to disappear from their desks without even skimming it. They've also been doing equally tedious activities. It was just as bad as traffic until this incident. Trouble surreptitiously admitted that he was glad that Artemis Fowl had returned. That boy may be a troublemaker, but then again, trouble was his middle- his first name actually. He lived for trouble.

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**_Okay, I have a feeling that this is not one of my best chapters... but enjoy it! This is a command:)_**


	20. Chapter 19 : Revolt

_**Hello everybody! I'm back from Guam! That's right, I went to visit the historical monuments of fantastic, utterly amazing Guam...No, actually, I just went swimming. I ran away from the cold. But the fantastic part as all correct. You have to see the hue of the sea. Just...utterly amazing.**_

_**cybergurl: **Yep. Definitely closer. But not too close, so don't prepare any goodbye parties or anything._

_**number 423601: **New reader! Thank you very much, and please keep reading._

_**booksrule39: **I'm glad you like my story even though you're an A/H fan. I enjoy a couple of A/H stories myself despite my being an anti-A/H shipper._

_**neutralgal: **Yes, this will be A/OC, H/T. They will be on double dates- hehehe. I'm sorry if you puked; I don't think there will be much H/T anymore. I think...-ponders a moment- but definitely more A/D. If you won't be offended, I would like to admit a fact to you; good A/Hs I like, but bad, mushy ones make me puke as well._

_**Princess Arwen Evenstar 77: **Yeah, my review history is down as well. I'm very confused- Grrr!_

_**RaevanDawn: **Hello, fellow H/T fan! Good H/Ts just make me wanna cry... And I'm glad you enjoyed it!

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**Chapter 19: Revolt **

**Goblin Shack, Lower Elements**

Spiro's gang had one last destination before the historic pandimonium was to begin, and let me assure you, it was definitely not Disneyland. It was as far from Disneyland as far can be, and although there isn't a word existing to even remotely describe this place, the closest would be_ hell_. Complete and utter hell.

Who knows how this place got its name; because it certainly did not resemble a shack that much. This area was once known to be a lush emerald-green forest before a pack of alchoholic goblins went out of control with their firepowers and devastated this national monument into a pile of barren soil. Now there were just a few contorted, burnt trees with most of their limbs fallen off, and goblins, and rotten soil and goblins and dead insects and goblins and nothingness, and of course, goblins.

The first thing that the trio noticed as they entered the forgotten forest was that it was so damn hot. Not as in moderate climate, mildly warm with T-shirts and shorts. As in sweltering, torrid, _boiling_ hot. It was after they panted and adjusted to the intolerable heat that they noticed that this place was also abnormally dark. Darkness accompanied by a suspicious, almost stagnant silence.

"BOO! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Spiro and Opal flinched at the noise that came out of nowhere all of a sudden. Actually, let's rephrase that; they did not flinch, Opal screamed and started punching the air, and Spiro jumped a few inches. The only one that posed himself, totally unaffected by this questionable noise was Keeth.

"Way to go, Kharine. You almost got me then."

"I know!" The female goblin blushed. "You were so scared, I know!"

Keeth rolled his eyes. He had no time or patience for this. "You were right, I was scared, Kharine. I haven't come to see you, though. Where is The Boss?"

"Oh," The goblin girl, whose name was Kharine's face dropped. "He's in the cave. You know the place. Center of the Shack."

"I sure do" Keeth replied laconically. "Thanks, Kharine."

The cave, which Kharine had mentioned as the Center of the Shack was barely a minute's worth walk away. It was very inconspicuous as it was covered in ivy thickets the size of a pixie's arm, expect much taller. Keeth brushed it away as if it was nothing and walked inside.

The Boss turned out to be a very boring person with an amazing longevity. He sure didn't beat the most aged dwarf who was approximately two thousand years old, but he was known to have lived at least one and a half millenium. Actually, no one was sure of his gender, they just assumed he was male because of his raspy voice. Then again, considering his age, female was highly possible. No one knew of his name either; nothing was 100 percent sure with The Boss.

"Keeth," The bony figure turned its gaze to the reprobate goblin and extended a dirty green, wrinkled hand. "You've come back."

"Yes, Boss," Keeth replied,but what he really thought was, _It's really true that _I _should be the boss. _"I've come back to...gather my fellow friends for them to play a significant part in my plan."

"Your plan," The Boss echoed, looking at Keeth with one eye.

"Yes," Keeth replied, his shoulders squared. "My plan."

The Boss stared into Keeth now with both of his eyes. The emotion interwoven under that hypnotic gaze was unreadable. Keeth honestly didn't know if The Boss wanted to hit him or praise him. All he could do was hold his breath.

"Shagon," the aged goblin whispered in a voice that sounded almost inhuman.

A fairly young goblin in much better shape stepped out of the shadows. He was brawny and tall (that is, tall in goblin standards was about 3'3), and considered fairly attractive among female goblins. His best feature were his intense yellow eyes which looked down at Keeth and The Boss, gazed up at Spiro, and down again to meet Opal's eyes. Then he diverted his gaze to The Boss. "Boss. What's a human doing here? And that pixie?"

"Keeth here says something about a plan," The Boss muttered. "Do you know anything about that?"

Shagon considered it a moment, licking his eyeballs in deep thought. It was a horrid habit common in the species but Keeth himself had gotten rid of it long ago. "Yes, I do. That fight in the LEP."

"It is not a fight," Keeth interrupted angrily. "The technical term is a rebellion, revolt, a revolution. Whatever you wish to call it."

"Same thing," Like most goblins, Shagon was not known for his high intelligence. "So what do we do about it? We take the whole lot? Or half, or..."he squinted his face as he tried to divide half by half again."A quarter." he finally finished his sentence, apparantly very smug with his mathematic skills.

"We can't do with a quarter, Shagon." Spiro broke his silence and decided to speak up. "We need the full group of goblins residing in Goblin Shack, and even that amount won't be enough. About seventy, according to Keeth's assumption."

"So," The Boss interrupted. "This is a rebel of the goblins."

"Yes, Boss," Keeth replied obsequiously.

"I think we've done this before."

"Yes, I reckon that it has happened once. It was easily stopped by the LEP," Keeth paused, then dared to point out, "I also believe none of the goblins here in the shack have participated."

There was a twinkle in The Boss's eye. A twinkle that one of the fairies/human who were now at his presence had ever seen. For the pixie and human, it was their first encounter, but Keeth and Shagon who had known The Boss their entire life were taken aback. What was this old hag thinking about? Was it perhaps the secret revenge he had been planning all his life? A sudden inspiration to be a part of Keeth's plan?

"Take them all," he said.

* * *

**Police Plaza**

Because of the dozen selected officers shielded and safe amidst the trees, an estimate of seventy-five goblins sneaking in through the front doors was considered impossible. Thus a sum of four fairies and one human were to go inside first and the rest would come afterwards, once the officers were inside the building once again. The group consisted of: Spiro, Opal, Keeth, Kharine, and Shagon. Who else could it be?

Two heads are better than one. That means five should be much better than a single, or two brains. But no matter how much they tried to think, they could find no logical answer but to go through the sewage pipe as they had done before. Perhaps it was because the heads of two certain goblins were equivalant to none, but anyhow they wound up in the sewage again. Thanks to their previous trips, the pipe was cleaner than it used to be, so Opal could easily fit with her flashy boots-miniskirt-tank top-denim jacket attire in perfect condition. Opal was no imbecile; she knew her clothes would be ruined at least a bit once she was out, but it was all part of the plan.

The three who had already made a few trips were so fed up and weary with this strange type of transportation that they didn't even complain. That is to say, the other two did.

"What's this? Ewww!" Kharine exclaimed. She seemed to have trouble constructing a full sentence after all this... manure.

"It's from everybody's loo," Shagon answered with a grunt. "Gross."

"Really?" Kharine asked as if she had just realized that she was crawling through someone else's digested food.

"Duh, Kharine. Where do you think all this comes from? I bet there's some of yours, too."

Kharine made a face. "No, there isn't!"

"Stop it, you two. We're almost there. Remember, head first, and keep your forked tongue inside your mouth if you don't want some of this material stuffed inside it. Got it?"

"Got it," they chimed together like a song duet.

Spiro was the first to be out in the isolated aisle. "Who's in guard?" Opal asked anxiously. "I really hope it's not a girl, because that will be ruining everything."

"It's... a fairy with wings. He's hovering, and his rank looks low. And yes, he is a male, so you're saved for the moment, Opal."

"Let me see who he is," Opal shoved Spiro in order to get a better view. "Oh, thank the gods. It's Private Chix Verbil. Coaxing Chix Verbil has got to be easier than a dwarf tunneling through soft soil."

"Well, then what are you waiting for? Just get this over with."

Of course, Opal did. She held her head high and walked attractively towards the nervous, hovering sprite. She was actually overly confident; her clothes were in good condition and her makeup was at least one centimeter thick, so she would never be recognized. Spiro was right. Let's get this over with.

Chix wasn't exactly eager to lose face by getting kicked out of the LEP, but as soon as he saw the stunning pixie walking like a supermodel with a coquettish smile on her face, his worries soon vanished. His face cracked into a smile.

"Hello, young lady. How may I help you?"

Opal grinned as she placed a delicate hand on the private's shoulder. "Oh, nothing. I was just looking around."

"Ah, so you are an aspirant for Recon!" Chix slipped an arm around Opal's thin waist. She squirmed, but decided against slapping him in the face. After all, and mentioning this would be inappropriate redundancy, this _was_ part of the plan.

"Actually," Opal turned to meet Chix's eyes, and discovered that his looks were not quite charming in comparison to his flirtatious personality. "There is something you can do for me...But never mind. It would be far too difficult."

"Nothing would be too difficult for such a stunning woman as you. I will humbly be at your service." Chix grinned. Opal almost snorted at this statement, but stopped herself just in time. Instead she cleared her throat and continued while pointing at the blue translucent door. "This room. What's in it?"

"This room is full of the newest models of a LEP weapon. Top secret. My team has been doing incessant research for this baby." Chix winked.

"Oh, really,"" Opal pretended to be intrigued. "May I have a peek inside?"

"No, I don't think that would be possible," Chix grimaced as he thought of the consequences. "Julius would have my badge for sure. I'm terribly sorry, but is there anything else I can do?"

Opal crossed her arms and pouted, the substitute for her usual stomping feet and screaming. "No, I want to see what's in this room. Please?" Opal winked back.

The sprite's wings fluttered erratically, and he gulped. "I'm afraid I won't be able to do that. But allow me for a full tour of the Police Plaza-"

"No, thank you," Opal replied as cheerily as possible while linking her arms around Chix Verbil's waist and nestling against his chest.

Chix sweated in nervousness. He cleared his throat in order to sort out this problem. "Um-"

"Stand still," Opal's tapered fingers sneaked inside Chix's bum pocket, pulling out the electronic key.

The pixie drew back and held the key teasingly between her digits. "Thank you!" she said out of sheer bliss before punching Chix between the eyes. Unconsciousness was immediate.

"It's about time," Spiro muttered as he snatched the key from Opal's fingers. "We'd better get inside. We're running later than schedule."

Spiro inserted the key inside the slot, and the code was deciphered almost immediately. There was no motion in the filmy door for seconds. The six members of all species held their weapons consisting of fireballs, Neutrinos, and even those as primitive as bludgeons, prepared for whatever bulky guard was waiting inside as the azure covering disappeared, only to disclose the guard who was sound asleep.

As the rest relaxed with relief but soon perked up with glee, Spiro and Opal cracked their knuckles with a sinister smile. Yes, indeed, this was going to be much easier than they thought.

* * *

"They're here," One terse reply from Captain Kelp was all the rest needed to get ready. Trouble never repeated the same thing twice.

A series of _clickety-clacks _inaudible to human ears sounded throughout the distance as the elven policemen aimed their weapons at the seemingly empty darkness. They could keep that pose for at least an hour; it was the result of intensive training. There was no escape for trespassers. There they sat in various attack positions, waiting silently as ever.

The darkness was dull and boring as ever; despite their patience LEP officers could seldom endure boredom. But just then, barely noticeable, a faint red light began to emerge. Before anyone had time to react, there came another. And another. They began to multiple at a remarkable rate, until at last the crimson lights had transformed into quite an amount of radiant orange-red fireballs.

As the fireballs had gradually appeared, the goblins each took a step forward, slowly, one-by-one. Their yellow eyes with no eyelids flashed and were easily distinguishable against the black background. The very eyes held no mercy.

And so this was it. Goblin and elf, the cunning and intelligent, glaring fiercely at one another with deep rancor. The reticence was far more intimidating than screams of agony. This historical moment that was to be remembered in the near future by all kinds of sentient beings, the day of the debacle. There it was, impending like a glass of water filled to the brim, just waiting for the right moment to break its tension and spill over.

And then it all began.

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**_Finally! The REVOLT! As I'm posting this, it seems as if the last 19 chapters were nothing, nothing at all but an overly long preparation for this very moment! HAHA! I'm so happy and touched that I've got this far...-sniffles-_**


	21. Chapter 20 : Action

**_HAPPY 100 REVIEW CELEBRATION-blows out candles in humongous cake and chaos ensues. fireworks fly into the air and the ceiling of my house just sinks in- I know there are tons of people in tons of fandoms who get more reviews then I could possibly receive, but there are just as much who get much less reviews than I do. So the fact that I'm finally over 100 makes me ecstatic! Thank you everyone for your support!_**

_**cybergurl: **I know! This is just so touching...-bursts into tears- I _still _can't believe I got this far!_

_**number 423601: **Thanks again. :D I think you should write a story. I review one story of every person who reviews my story as long as they're in the fandom I'm familiar with:)_

_**Two reviews. That's lesser than I've ever got in all of history! But today's a special day, so I'll just look over it! Enjoy!

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**Chapter 20: Action**

It's time to introduce a bit of Artemis's arrangements. It has been mentioned before that the LEP's latest gun model 'Demolisher 2004' was not created for violent purposes. Its use was only in destroying obstacles that tend to get in the way and stymie busy LEP people. In order to maintain this purpose, that is, to keep them blasting iron bars instead of civilians, a 'switch room' was made to take control of all Demolishers in use. Switch on, guns activated. Switch off, and the weapons are as good as dead. It was that simple.

Unfortunately, as the Demos were still being repaired, so was this switch room, and this place was located in the clandestine depths that only certain commanders and the Council knew of. Even almighty technician Foaly knew little about this place. Commander Root himself admitted he had seldom been into this room, and even then only with a Council member at his assistance. He grudgingly revealed where the room was, and this was quite a great sacrifice, for the high-tech stuff that only high-ranks could use may be exposed to the public.

So a couple of girls named Holly and Diana were left with the responsibility of prying open an advanced code locking a secret room using their heads and a few wrenches. Not what most people would consider a happy job, but it certainly was exciting for a few exciting girls.

Artemis sighed heavily. "I had high hopes of never putting this schedule of mine into action," he began solemnly. "However, I don't suppose we have a choice. Holly was deliberately kidnapped, and and she brought us some quite valuable information. About our foes' plan, where they are and what they are doing now, about the blue-rinse at my manor... and Foaly, I do assume you will be converting that system back to the five-tower method." Foaly nodded grimly in agreement. "And...well, they're here." As he spoke, his face was ashen with apprehension. He looked so weak and vulnerable that Holly wanted to give him a hug, but Diana did the emotional stuff for her instead.

"Don't worry, Artemis," Diana said soothingly with her arms around Artemis's slim shoulders. "Butler and your parents will be all right. After all, he's quite a remarkable man." She finished with a laugh.

Artemis didn't reply for a few moments, but brushed quite a bit of nonexistent dust underneath his fingernails. "I know," he said, his voice strange and different. "I'm sure they're all doing well." And then he hugged Diana back. Well, maybe he didn't, he just put a hand on her back and drew back awkwardly after a split second. But it was his best attempt for an embrace.

"Foaly, check your virtual sims one last time," Holly commanded sharply. "We do have to play the part convincingly."

This was Foaly's job. The two ladies had to be out there fighting, which was what they would have most certainly done if it weren't for Artemis. Because they must 'play the part convincingly,' Foaly had created a simulated fairy and human that worked both on deluding the naked eye and the camera. Numerous dots of color stimulators were sent into the cones and rods of the goblins' eyes, arranging themselves into an image like pixels on television. Then the facsimiles made from scraps of movies were sent into every camera. The only problem they had was that the lasers the sims were shooting soon vanished into nothingness, but there was nothing anyone could do about that, was there?

Holly narrowed the beam of her Neutrino and concentrated it at a spot somewhere above Artemis's head. A bright orange beam of light carved a square, human-sized hole in the wall. All pairs of eyes moved to watch the section fall. It was an entrance to a small emergency tunnel used formerly as an escape route.

Diana had already changed into her memory latex/camouflage foil suit, and it made her look like a chameleon. The memory latex enabled her to blend in with the surroundings, while the camouflage foil aided her in becoming invisible. "I'm ready," she shouted.

With one curt nod, the duo were inside the tunnel and soon gone.

* * *

If one was to ask a person on the streets of Haven,"Goblin versus elf. Who do you think will win?" that fairy would no doubt reply,"Elf." This was an obvious fact, as the intelligence of the common elf greatly surpassed those of the goblins. On top of that, leprechauns had better physical abilities than goblins as well. But a dozen leprechauns against an army of roughly 75 goblins? That was another question. 

If most elven beings had a temper, then these green, scaly creatures had something called lunacy. They were told to use their fireballs as a weapon until they get these silver shiny things. And in fact, that's what they did, because no matter how much of a lunatic they can be, they can also become very obedient. The goblins threw hundreds of fireballs, and thanks to their fireproof suits, the officers didn't get so much as a scorched finger. However, when they finally received their silver shiny things, matters started to change.

Most of their Neutrinos were discarded, for they were rendered useless due to the giant balls of fire closing in on their guns. That was another of the orders given; "Crush silver shiny things that look different from yours." Of course the LEP officers wore certain suits that could repel just about anything, but that could only accomplish so little. Obviously they had their magic, but that also had limitations. Yet all they culd rely on were their suit, magic, and last but not least, their instincts.

And there were the people whose values had depreciated into Artemis Fowl's least favorite people, cackling evilly like a bunch of villains in a superhero comic book. Usually, then was the time when the main-character-superhero zoomed in to rescue the world...

Spiro just smiled as he saw an officer fall to the floor, clutching his chest in exhaustion. He patted the tiny camera affectionately. It gave him bliss.

"This is much better than I thought it would be," Keeth said. "This is a riot. I wouldn't miss this for the world."

"You can say that again," Opal agreed as he eyed Trouble(who fortunately still had his Neutrino and buzz baton) shooting with expert dexterity.

"Wait a minute," Keeth suddenly blurted. "This is strange. How come everybody's just knocked out? I mean, this is an advantage for my fellow goblins, but what about the LEP? Come on, we need some action!"

"We don't want any casualties," Spiro answered absently. "I do not stick to such sordid crimes as murder; and neither do you. The only person I want to kill is Artemis Fowl, who is probably already dead. Correct?"

Keeth's eyes flickered for a moment, but it was barely noticable. "That's right," he managed finally.

Spiro turned his eyes coolly to the screen. "I don't want murder to be on my long list of misdeeds. I can get away with everything-_except_ homicide. Understood?"

"Yes," Keeth replied. "And that must be Commander Beetroot and the blond Mud Maid."

Three figures huddled around the miniscule screen. Sure enough, a girl fit, tall, and supermodel thin was waving a gun in the air, and it looked as if she knew how to use it. A shorter, plump male fairy in the same olive green suit as the rest of them stood with poise.

They watched as Juliet aimed carefully at a goblin who was shaking his head _and_ licking his eyeballs _and_ waving his pistol-all at the same time. What they saw next made them completely lost for words.

"How did _that _happen!" the three demanded.

* * *

"Ooh, she's beautiful," Juliet exclaimed, eyeing the Demolisher held in her hand. "And clever material, too." She watched in awe as the supple material shifted and hardened to fit her grasp, and the trigger was placed just within her reach. It was then she looked up with a frown, twirling a strand of blond hair between her fingers. "But what I don't get is why Holly and Diana have virtual sims to do the hard work, and we have to do the dangerous things ourselves." 

Root held the gun firmly as he replied. "You're right. This _is_ dangerous. Which is exactly why you're doing it."

Juliet considered it. "I guess so."

"If Foaly were to make a replica of _you_ and you were to watch it shoot people, you would have at the very least body-slamed him. You would have said this was your area, and you didn't need any stupid duplicates of you doing it for you instead."

"I guess so," Juliet repeated.

"But you're still going to whine and complain about how life is unfair, even though deep down inside you're actually quite interested."

"Yes, definitely," Juliet replied defiantly.

Root raised his eyebrows; then his face turned into something resembling a smile. This was something that happened just once in a decade, the expression on the commander's face that most LEP officers were currently betting 500 dollars(converted to human currency) on the first person to ever see it. "Right. Let's go."

"Fine with me," Juliet nodded, running at a steady pace."

"Juliet," Root said sternly. "Wear your helmet."

"Oh, boo," the teenage girl pouted. "I can aim better than the helmet itself."

"I don't doubt it, but I'm asking you to wear the helmet for protection, not aiming." Root said. "I like you Juliet, I really do. But I'm not so sure if I'll still like you once you've got a bullet in your head due to your irresponsibility."

"Fine," Juliet obeyed, placing the helmet over her ponytail. "There. I see a goblin. Hey, he looks like a lizard from close up."

"Okay. I see him too. Shoot it."

"Stupid helmet," Juliet muttered as she adjusted the helmet screen to Polaroid. What for? Just for fun. I mean, come on, how could twenty-first century archery be entertaining with such lack of challenge? She aimed her gun straight at the pistol of the goblins own. He fell, rather, he blasted down the aisle and landed on the wall with a sickening _crunch_. Juliet thought she actually heard a small gasp of three people somewhere; but that was not the point at all.

"It worked," The younger Butler's mouth was a grim slash. "Can't Arty be wrong for one second?"

"Must I remind you that if Artemis was indeed incorrect, you would be a flat MudGirl pancake on the wall as that lizard, or perhaps dead?"

"No, you needn't," Juliet murmured. "We must thank and worship Artemis once again."

Theoretically, if a laser dart emitted from the Demolisher met with a pistol, the shooter could knock a victim against a wall severely necause of the great impact. Holly had yet again pointed out that Artemis was risking an awful lot on mere theory, but Artemis had kindly explained that he had done a quick mental experiment in his head, relevant to something about kinetic energy and launched into a lecture of physics that only he and Foaly could understand. The conclusion was: it worked. So the others went along with it. A determined Fowl _always_ gets his way.

"Speaking of Artemis," Juliet thought aloud. "I think there's something between the two of them. Something extremely special."

"Who do you mean by the two of them?" Root asked.

"You know!" Juliet scowled, obviously disgusted at how thick some males could be. "I mean him and Mademoiselle Choi."

"Ah," Root said thoughtfully. "Actually, come to think of it-" he broke off as he saw Juliet staring straight ahead solemnly, and he followed his gaze-

"Never mind," Juliet said. "Let's talk about that later. It was just a thought. Now keep your attention on the little green creatures over there, because I have a feeling that we're going to have to do some serious shooting tonight."

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_**Crappy ending, I know. But plenty of humor! R and R!**_


	22. Chapter 21 : Difficulties

_**LATEST NEWS) Diana passed the Mary-Sue Litmus Test! I couldn't find the Artemis Fowl one, so I just did the universal one. And she passed! True, there were some characteristics of a Mary-Sue, but what OC character doesn't? And the writer of the test said it was fine, so... you get the idea.**_

_**neutralgal: **I have been awarded a few certificates in writing. But only in elementary school. and only in nonfiction writing. Never in fiction such as this. But thank you anyway. All those reallys were indeed flattering._

_**number 423601:** Well, I've updated:)_

_**jess: **Thank you, anonymous reviewer! Happy reading!_

_**iceteawriter: **My story is like one of the Artemis Fowl series? That's...well, pretty pleasing, actually. So I write as well as Eoin Colfer? Wow, that is indeed... thanks._

**_Now, now. I understand that this chapter would be quite humorous, but that was just to cheer you guys up! Enjoy! (And don't take this any lightly!)

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**Chapter 21: Difficulties**

It was a long trip of endurance in the flue. An odyssey full of risks and adventures, not to mention that Diana almost got eviscerated because a laser dart suddenly cut through the wall of the air pipe and blasted out the other side. Apart from that, Holly nearly lost her index finger again because she tried to grab Diana when the dart went flying, but the swift circle simply grazed the tip of her finger.

"You're lucky that bullet didn't go straight through you." Holly reminded Diana for what seemed like the millionth time. "Losing a vital organ is beyond repair, even with magic."

"I know, I know," Diana rolled her eyes as she pushed her upper body part out of the small opening. "Could you give me a hand here? My..um...hips are stuck."

Holly grinned as she locked her arms around Diana's waist and pulled. "I think you've gained weight ever since you've got here." she managed to tease between grunts and pulls.

"Shut up," Diana muttered. "It's all your fault. It's the rubbish fairy food you have. I've never tasted anything so delicious in my entire life." They both screamed as Diana's full body fell out of the square hole and toppled over Holly's own.

"That's because all our vegetables are organic," Holly replied as she removed Diana off herself. "And the way you just shove food into your mouth, and how you eye your food like you've starved for days... you should really learn how to control yourself. Frankly speaking, I don't understand what Artemis sees in you."

"At least I eat clean," Diana retorted lamely. "I don't get a crumb on myself." She turned her attention to finding the micro keyhole Root had mentioned. "Foaly?" she requested. "Could you activate my iris-cam?"

"Can a troll eat a whole cow? Can a dwarf blow a hole in his pants?" Foaly's irksome voice repiled. "By the way, the conversation you two just had was hilarious."

"There it is!" Diana exclaimed as soon as her vision was magnified to an extreme extent. "That hole is seriously tiny. What were we going to use to open it again? A _dwarf hair?_"

"Don't be so doubting, Diana," Foaly interrupted from somewhere above her ear. "Dwarf hair is stiff, yet ever so sensitive and flexible. If that makes sense. And this isn't just any dwarf's hair, it's the wonder-thief Mulch Diggum's. Beats just about any hair pin or clip or whatever primitive equipment you humans use. In fact, I recently did this research on dwarf hair, and you won't believe what amazing substance I discovered. I'm going to name it Foalicium, with the chemical symbol Fl."

"Foaly, if you use any jargon from now on, I will personally kill you. Just warning you. Go on please."

"Well, if you consider the periodic table and certain facts releant to the covalent bond of atoms as terminology-"

"Foaly!"

"Fine," the centaur sulked, putting on his role of the unappreciated genius.. "Insert the hair."

"Holly stuck one of Mulch's hairs into the smallest keyhole she had ever seen. "Too thick. Why don't we use the omnitool?" Holly took a black tube from her belt an pointed the lens at the keyhole. Nothing happened. "Hmm... This is such a reliable keyhole. I could use one of these."

Diana slipped a hand in her jacket pocket and pulled out a mobile phone. "This is the weirdest thing I've ever done. Why doesn't the omnitool work?"

"Perhaps because the hole is X-ray repellent. The omnitool's sensor can't pick up a thing."

"Okay," Diana held the cellular phone firmly. "But before I do this, I have to remind you that this-"

"-is the weirdest thing you've ever done," Holly finished for her. "I've seen things weirder, Diana. Hurry up and do it."

"My mobile phone is made of bulletproof glass and the finest stainless steel in Ireland," Artemis intervened through the microphone. "Don't expect it to crumble in your fingers. Accept intense pain."

Sometimes Artemis could be so annoying. "I need a screwdriver."

Holly blinked. "A screwdriver. What makes you think I have a screwdriver? The only _screwdriver_ under this Earth can be seen in the national historical museum. And in bad condition too. Rusty and all."

"Your Neutrino, then," Diana snapped. "Set the settings to three and intensify the beam. Like you did when you blew a hole in the wall."

"The Neutrino 2000 was formerly designed for burning people into crisp potatoes. Now it has been used for medical purposes, ruining Mud Men buildings, and yet we have found another use: repair," Foaly beamed, only to be ignored.

"I was hoping we wouldn't have to do that." Artemis said. "I had grown to be quite fond with my cell phone."

"Repair? More like mechanical surgery," Diana said. "Okay, here goes nothing."

After a brief hesitation, the steel gave way and a neat straight line formed on the side of Artemis's phone. Diana pried open the rest with her fingers.

"Near the antenna there. Easy now. The magnet is about 5 centimeters in length and 0.1 millimeters in width."

"How do you know so much about the inside of your cell phone?" Diana asked as she gingerly retrieved the nearly invisible magnet with her two fingers.

"Because I designed it myself, obviously," Diana could just imagine Artemis's smirk. "I sold the blueprint to Nokia for 8.5 million U.S. dollars. After a few minor arrangements, of course, so mine is one of a kind."

"I just can't help but hate your intellect, Artemis," The Korean girl inserted the magnetic stick inside the micro keyhole. "Posting lectures on the Internet on the subject of physics, writing books on psychology, all under various pseudonyms. I hear you have a chemistry lab at home, and you're working on completeing your medical studies as a surgeon. When I'm with you, you make AP Chemistry sound so stupid. Why don't you just become a lawyer as well?"

"I was on the wrong side of the law for too long," Artemis replied, chuckling gently. "But I do believe that I am more tactful than any lawyer and diplomat can be."

"And you're also a whiz and finding loopholes," Diana grimaced. "Artemis, it looks like you've busted your cell phone for a few futile attempts. It's not working."

"Wait," Holly spoke up."What if we insert the stick inside the keyhole and use the omnitool at the same time? May be somehow the magnetic force could reactivate the X-ray. Is it possible?"

Diana shrugged. "I don't know. Don't ask me. The two geniuses are on mike."

"Actually," Foaly began. "I do think it might work."

"Okay, okay. It works," Holly cut Foaly off before he could say more. "Just let me concentrate." With that, Holly carefully placed the thin magnetic stick into the hole. Even more cautiously, she clicked on her omnitool.

Click. The door was open in a split second.

"Yes!" two voices shouted simultaneously.

"But we've messed around too much," Holly said, returning to her usual Captain state. "This much time spent on the very first step. That's not very good. From now on, no more talking. Just the work. Understood?"

"Yes, ma'am," Diana replied. "Just the work."

"Good," Holly turned to face the two large buttons above a screen in front of her. "Now what do we have here?" The two buttons read, "VISITORS" and "MEMBERS". Without thinking, Holly immediately pressed MEMBERS.

"Name and rank?" A mechanical voice inquired.

"Um..." Holly glanced sideways at Diana. "Captain Holly Short?"

"Access denied," The voice replied, a tingeness of smugness in its voice.

"Well," Holly folded her arms as she leaned against a wall. "This is going to take a while."

* * *

_Beep. Beep. The dial is off. To leave a message,_ A massive hand slammed the phone in frustration. Butler walked out to the porch and just stood there, uncertain of what to think or whom to suspect. Artemis was safe, he was sure of it. But how was he going to explain this to his parents?

When the Fowl couple had finally came to, Butler and the two of them had sat down with a cup of coffee for elucidation. But apparantly they didn't want to hear any of it. Artemis Sr., being angry for the first time in three years, wobbled dangerously on this prosthetic limb, shouting for his only son. Angeline was far more congenial; she just smiled sweetly and said that she wanted to have a talk with Artemis on the phone, but went into pieces when she discovered that his phone was off.

And there the legendary Domovoi Butler was, sitting on the front porch, completely helpless with no clue of Artemis's whereabouts. All he knew was that the child prodigy's plans would be more risky than they ever were, and next time when he meets Holly he would request for a Kevlar removal surgery.

* * *

"This is getting incredibly boring," Juliet muttered. "What is this? If you ask me, I think these goblins are being defeated a bit too fast. Correct me if I'm wrong, but these lizards look like more than they seem."

"Looks can be deceiving," came the cryptic reply.

The blonde amazon simply stared as another goblin blasted against the wall, clutching his head and moaning. "No. No. This is not it. This is not what I thought war would be."

"War," Root grimaced. "Don't you think that's too dramatic a word?"

"You know what I mean," Juliet snapped. "You know what always happens in movies. The bad guys goof around, thinking they're the victors, and all of a sudden they have a gun slammed in their temple. They go whimpering off like little infants. I have a feeling that's about to happen to us."

"This is not a movie, and we are not the bad guys," the commander retorted grimly. "And we're considered professionals. We will not go goofing around."

"Actually, I think you're right," Juliet suddenly grinned. "I've just changed the camera version to 'emerald green.' It's really cool because I can barely see the goblins against the green background. That would make things more exciting."

"There you are," Root's face had on a slight tone of pink. "You're goofing around. You think this is some virtual video game. Well, it's not, and before you know it you'll get a gun slammed into your temple as you mentioned."

"Ah," the younger Butler smiled meaningfully. "You know what's the difference between those gangster/movie stars and me?"

"What?" Root questioned, not at all interested.

"Of course you know," Juliet winked that almost threatening wink of hers. "I'm a professional." In another split second, her fist collided with a solid object that happened to be a gobin's face, more accurately, his nose. Root spun around and added a swift kick to another goblin's behind. Two creatures sprawled on the floor, grasping various body parts and rubbing them in pain.

"See?" Juliet smiled, her ponytail swaying behind her. "Professionals."

* * *

Butler was right about one thing; this plan was far more risky than they ever were. Yet there were some positive aspects; this scheme was relatively simple, highly unlike Artemis. Ironically, this was the safest of them all as well, for the whole of it was to be taken place in the LEP headquarters. However, this was not to be taken lightly. That is to say that it wasn't easy.

VISITOR. The bright sign glared at them as if sensing something suspicious. Now they had no choice but to press that button. Firmly, but reluctantly, Holly did.

"Password?" the metallic voice sounded.

"Demolisher 2004," Holly answered, completely out of the blue.

"Access denied."

"Uh... Lower Elements Police?" Diana mumbled.

"Access denied."

"D'Arvit!" Holly shouted, frustrated and steaming like a kettle filled with boiling water. "Can't something be easy for once?"

"Access denied."

Holly fumed at the glowing sign. Either the intelligence chip was yet to be added to this particular machine and its vocabulary was very limited, or the mystical voice had a sense of humor. "Foaly. Have you got a clue?"

"Um," Foaly replied through an earpiece entirely vacumned of static. "I just asked Julius and he said it was, 'Selfish and ignorant Mud Men beware, there's more of you than the Council can spare.'"

"What?" Holly almost choked in disbelief. "What is that, a limerick? The Council is using a limerick for a password?"

"Technically, it's called a couplet," Artemis spoke up, his voice annoyingly calm. "And if that truly is the password, then the Council is by far the most childish group of fairies I have ever met."

Much to everyone's surprise, the voice suddenly barked out a laugh. It made Holly and Diana jump out of their skin. "May I give you a hint?" the voice asked as its cackle died out.

Diana snorted. "Yes, please!" If she hadn't seen and done more stranger things before, she would have been terrified by now. Then she managed to recite the poem as Foaly had told her, barely stifling a laugh.

This time, the machinery whirred before responding. "Access denied. True, that was the previous password."

"Okay," Diana muttered. "The hint, please?"

"Sure thing," the voice replied. "This animal walks on all fours in the morning, two in the afternoon-"

"A human," Diana answered before anyone could react.

"I was just kidding," the voice said again. "I was just running an IQ test. Surely you didn't mistake me for a sphinx, did you?"

"There are enough annoying people, let alone machines, that are involved and intertwined in this crazy life of mine," said Holly, mock indignant. "Give us the real hint, now."

"Drink and play," the voice answered after a brief hesitation.

"Excuse me?" Holly inquired. This was getting crazier by the minute.

"I'm certain you heard me. Drink and play," This voice answered.

"That is the randomest hint I've heard of in all time," Diana shouted out. "Drink and play? How are we supposed to know what that means?"

"You _will_ be able to guess it if you are a fairy, unless you are a spy from Atlantis or some other faraway place," came the reply. "More specifically; this is a sentence."

"Voice, we do not have the time to play your little games," Holly almost yelled, fully disgusted. "I need, no, I demand for a more lucid hint."

"I have to make sure you're someone in the LEP," if the voice had shoulders, it could have shrugged. "I'm sorry."

All fell silent in constant pondering. After ten minutes of total quietness, Holly ripped of her acorns and took out her badge, and decided to wave it in the sensor vigorously. "Look here, I'm a Recon captain._ I'm someone in the LEP_. Can we go in please?"

"Very well," the voice replied. "I am giving you another hint, but only out of sympathy." After a dramatic pause, it continued. "This is the code for Emergency 1-"

"Well, then, why didn't you say so? Holly demanded. "**Meet me at Spud's Spud Emporium. **So that's what drink and play was all about, eh?"

"Exactly," the door slid open before them, and the eager two walked in swiftly.

"Wait!" the voice called out again just as they were out the door.

"What is it?" Diana demanded hurriedly, wanting to get this all over with.

"Before you go inside each of you must make one sacrifice!" the voice boomed.

Diana gulped. She wasn't sure if she imagined it, but the sound of Holly's gulping was audible as well. "What kind of sacrifice is it?" Diana whispered, wringing her hands anxiously.

"Never mind," the voice murmured. "I was just pulling your leg. Go inside, please?"

Stupefied, the duo turned slowly and and took a step; but it wasn't long before Holly took a breath and blurted out one last amusing statement.

"Are you sure I shouldn't look for the source and blast it into bits?"

* * *

**_Read and review!_**


	23. Chapter 22 : Tension

_**Hi! So sorry for the long delay! The document that had once contained this chapter suddenly decided to go haywire, and before anyone could say, "Freeze!" the document was nothing but some meaningless squares and sqiggles...Mind you, it was an immense loss for me, and I spend the last week and a half grieving over my lost chapter 22 and crying. But three days ago,lcame to my senses and rewrote chapter 22, and even had ample time to write ch 23! So in order to repent for the two-week wait, I'll treat you to two chapters! How awesome is that?**_

_**darklink231: **Thanks! Keep reading!_

_**froggiesrcool: **Quite a long line of reviews you left there. And this is not A/H, I think those are cute sometimes, but usually nonsensical. This is A/OC(D), H/T. Those two rockl!_

_**cybergurl: **Hi! Glad you liked it, and I hope you didn't get in trouble because of your homework! And I think OMF stands for Oh My F-word, just taking it was used on the internet by some netizen. _

**_Chapter 22, coming up!

* * *

_**

**Chapter 22: Tension**

Artemis's complexion was as white as a blank sheet of paper; yet it paled into an even lighter shade. He stared down at his hands, taking in his fingers steepled in business-style, and also his immaculate manicured fingernails. They were undoubtedly shaking.

Not even Artemis knew why he was so nervous. When rescuing the C Cube in the Spiro Needle, he didn't even allow suggestions that his plan may fail. Nor when he kidnapped one fairy who was now one of his best friends(did that seem a long time ago). It was probably because he was afraid for his parents and bodyguard. Juliet and Root seemed to be faring well according to the screens, but for his family, it was either life or death. Artemis indeed knew how grieving this dilemma is.

Screw it. He was afraid for himself, and he had to admit it. Self-centered, selfish, cold-hearted Artemis. He didn't even flicker an eyelid for others, but he was trembling for placing himself in grave danger.

Holly had taught him many things; one of them was that his plans worked out in the end, but put many people in peril along the way. Despite his meticulous planning, he was unacceptably irresponsible for others. Holly, his father, Butler... They all would have ceased to exist if someone hadn't been there to save them.

After holding the fairies in utter tension, he should have learned that lesson. But no, that wasn't enough for Artemis. He had to hold himself at bay before he could be satisfied. True, he was no longer the fairies' main threat, on the contrary, he was there to save the world. But what he was about to do now was something derived of pure selfish thoughts, and it was completely unnecessary.

Maybe it would have been better if he had never thought of abducting a fairy. Maybe it would have been better off if he hadn't regained his memories.

Foaly gave Artemis a surreptitious glance as he shoved the residue of his carrot cake down his throat. He was worried for the poor boy. The Irish teenager couldn't go through a day without having to prove himself. His thick mask of indifference was eroding at a rapid pace, and Foaly could already see Artemis's fearful expression.

But both knew it was all too late for regrets. In order to put things back the way they were once and for all, they had to go through the plan, period. No other choices. The only time they have to feel sorry for themselves came after this all ended. According to the circumstances, that could be very soon, or much, much further on.

* * *

"Finally," Holly grasped her hands in mock prayer, "the easy part!"

"I thought it would never come," Diana put in gloomily.

Holly inserted the membership key that belonged to Root into the slot provided. A miniature 3-D version of Commander Root (complete, including his fungus cigar) appeared right next to Holly almost immediately. It lingered there for approximately five seconds, then with its disappearance another disembodied, monotonous tone voiced their welcome.

"I hope that's not the same voice that gave us the stupid riddle," Holly muttered, just so everyone could hear.

To no one's surprise, the reply did not come. However, that was the least of their concern. In fact, it was driven straight out of their minds. In front of their very eyes, a yet-to-be-seen technological marvel was taking place.

"Wow," Diana breathed as he walked over to a pair of wafer-thin wings in a gargantuan case. The set of wings were shaped exactly like those of a dragonfly, only at least a million times bigger. Ths fabric seemed so thin and delicate, yet Diana couldn't help but reach out(she knew she shouldn't do it) and touch the tip of the wing. She half expected it to shatter into fragments, but it did not. Encouraged, Diana grabbed it and shook it gently, taking in its soft, comforting texture. Apparantly, this was made of stronger stuff than what it appeared to be.

"Those wings would sure beat the Hummingbirds," Holly commented as she passed by.

A mannequin dressed in what seemed to be a brand-new model of a LEP uniform was what captivated Holly's attention. Not that Holly ever had anything against the dull green, unisex uniforms all officers were wearing now. She thanked Frond and her ancestors, including Cupid, that she didn't have to wear any of those ridiculous knickerbockers and stand by a rainbow like they had to way before she was born.

But this was just amazing, so secret-agent style. And what really distinguished them from the present model was that it was no longer unisex. The men's uniform was a plain grey suit with no tie. The women's were similar, but it had a thin waistline and the trousers were a style that made a pair of legs look really long. (I'll eat my badge if Lili Frond can put her plump leg through one of those, Holly thought amusedly.) It also had a very fashionable moonbelt where she could hold all her gadgets. Finally, the police could earn the respect they deserved through these outfits.

Holly's eyes drifted slowly to a blueprint on a yellow oak desk. She picked it up, and to her surprise found that it was a design for a new titanium pod. This seemed so much more comfortable than Foaly's masterpiece, with air conditioning all over the ship and even a small refrigerator that could hold three 1 liter bottles of still water. The seat was made of ploppy cushions as well. The trip to outer Earth was going to become very exciting.

That was when Holly's instincts snapped into her mind. Ashamed at the time she had frittered by browsing around, she turned to ask Diana, "Where's the switch room?"

Diana stalked over to a small door with a sign that read "Employers Only." "I think it's this one," she replied as she burst open the door and peeked inside.

Sure enough, the room was bare except for one switch against the wall which greatly resembled a joystick. Scrutinizing it up and down, she muttered, "So what we have to do is pull this switch, right?"

"That's exactly it," Holly answered from behind.

"Quite a demotion after what we've been through, don't you think?"

"Never mind that," Holly said, smiling. She clicked on her microphone and sent a connection to Root. "Commander, do you copy. We are both inside the switch room. We will be pulling the switch at your command."

"Got it," Root's voice sounded. Then her earpiece shut down with a soft click.

* * *

When a commander actually wants to run, they can actually run pretty fast. Especially a certain plump fairy with a face identical to a beetroot with his face stuffed inside a helmet at the moment. Believe it or not, the stunning blonde right next to him had a hard time catching up.

"How do you run so fast with legs just like yours?" Juliet asked while running beside him. "Your feet are almost a blur!"

"I've dying for the loo," Root grunted as he headed for the door at the end of the aisle that said "Exit."

Amused, Juliet took the opposite way that led straight to where Artemis and Foaly were. As she stepped closer. her giddyness slowly started to wane, and a dark feeling began to seep inside. To her, Artemis was like the younger brother she never had. In spite of his tendency to scowl at the most infinitesimal things, that was exactly the part that she liked about him. That was Artemis's idiosyncrasy.

She couldn't understand why Artemis was acting so differently these days. Both dangerously and exceptionally so. It was starting to concern her out of her mind, but Artemis didn't seem to notice. And what he wanted to do, what he _said _he wanted to do... it was something the old Artemis would have rejected doing.

"Okay, whatever you say, Artemis," she had said casually, rolling her eyes. "But remember. whenever you change your mind, just tell me. You don't have to do it, okay?"

"I never change my mind as rashly as I suggest matters," he had replied seriously.

Until now, she thought what he had then said was a joke. A very dangerous, seriously not funny, Artemis kind of joke. Or at the very least expected him to chicken out. But he didn't. And he really was about to do it.

Actually, maybe he will. He would change his mind at the very end, admit that this was all too much for him to bear, and even burst into tears. Maybe.

"Artemis?" Juliet called out questioningly as she opened the door. "Um...we can go now."

Artemis's expression was as blank as ever now. Juliet might as well have not said anything. He looked younger than he ever looked, and thank goodness his eyes weren't still bloodshot. If they were, he would have looked just like an albino right now, considering how pale he was. Slowly, his face began to shift and change, from blank and anxious into a mask of determination.

"I heard you," he said as Juliet opened her mouth to speak again.

Artemis stood up, his mind already swimming in a sea of doubts. He had always thought of himself as a being with no intellectual weaknesses, but now he thought otherwise. True, he was clever than anyone could actually manage to be, and he was a genius in almost every area. Yet he lacked something that could only be earned through experience: wisdom. What Butler had and he didn't. The reason why Butler was able to save his life plenty of times, risking his own along the way. Something that sagacious old man dressing in a robe in one of those cartoons, whoever he was. Honestly. Artemis was no medicine man.

Artemis caught Root's eyes as he returned from his lifelong journey to the toilet. There was no doubt about it; in his eyes were deep concern and sympathy. Artemis wasn't so eager to see that, but it should have cheered him up; it meant that Root no longer regreted Artemis's flashback, and he was giving him his concern and trust. His gaze wavered somewhere near Root's feet, and he moved on, Juliet by his side.

Artemis and emotion. One would have thought that these two were like oil and water, never to be mixed nor associated even if they were put in one room, side-by-side. They thought wrong. Artemis had emotion, and he had so much of it churning in his stomach right now that it made him sick. He had just hid it well for so long, but that was already starting to change...

* * *

Holly was not at all willing to pull that switch. No matter what mission she was on, there was always one part that she always dreaded doing. Like blowing up the goblins with their own fireballs not too long ago. It was not a pretty sight. This lever was no goblin, but what was about to happen the instant she pulled it was not to be a pretty sight either.

Nevertheless, it had to be done. She couldn't just stall like she wasn't involved in any of this. Like that time when she completely ignored those sprites trying to blast each other's wings on the highway... boy, did she ignore a lot of feuds. But let's face it: she was fed up with those sprites that it was either not acknowledging them or pulling out their wings herself. Everyone alive knew that Holly Short had a serious temper, didn't they?

Sighing, yet still playing for time, her hand grasped on the red ball at the end of the stick. As slowly as possible, she pulled it.

* * *

**_Guess what happens, guess what happens! But it's obvious, isn't it? Stay tuned for Chapter 23!_**


	24. Chapter 23 : Injury

**Chapter 23: Injury**

It all happened in a blink of an eye. Everything stopped.

The remaining conscious goblins aimed their guns at nothing in particular. As they each pulled the trigger, they became very surprised to find nothing coming out of the end. A few hopelessly foolish ones even attempted to peer inside the pistol in puzzlement. It was then that the rest of the officers started shooting. A good LEP officer never lost one's chance.

But nothing even came close to the utter mayhem that was taking place in a private room tucked away safely at the end of the building.

"What-" Spiro slammed the desk, his joy vaporizing as suddenly as it had came. "What happened? Why aren't the Demos working?"

No reply came. Keeth just stared straight ahead, his eyes blazing with an unknown emotion, and Opal chewed her lower lip without actually noticing it. To hide her anxiousness, she grinned her menacing smile as she always did when she was downright furious.

"It must be the power," Keeth said through clenched teeth.

"The power?" Spiro angrily stabbed a finger at the blinding light above him, glanced at the screen which was still functioning, then stared at Keeth, his eyes daring him to say 'It must be the power' again. Then he turned his gaze to the Barbie-doll fairy next to him.

"Opal," Spiro squatted down to Opal's level and lifted her chin with a single finger. "What is it? You alawys mentioned something about your fairy intuition ever since I met you. Well? What does it tell you now?"

"My intuition doesn't have a clue," Opal replied arrogantly, thrusting her chin away from Spiro's finger. "But if you must have an answer, I think the batteries have been used up."

"The batteries are supposed to last at least one thousand years," The glaring businessman retorted without moving. "Or at least I heard." He stood up, returning to his relatively short height, and added, "Don't mess with me, girl. Either you always put on an expression that seems to have dawned with realization, or you've sensed something peculiar."

"With women, it's all suspicion," Keeth put in, folding his arms.

"Hmmm," Spiro muttered meaningfully. "If I didn't know any better, I would say this was-" Spiro suddenly broke into an awful silence.

"It would be...who?" the genius goblin asked coolly, but deep down inside his mind was churning with anxiousness. _Calm down, _Keeth chided himself. _He'll never know. _Yet he already knew what name would be said by Spiro's thin lips. Because even he could feel another person's presence. As a matter of fact, this boy's identity could be detected easily anywhere.

"Listen to me," Spiro began again, eyeing the two fairies one by one. "Both of you presented two theories to me, both of which made very little sense. But what I'm about to suggest is equally ludicrous, yet I'm almost entirely sure that this is true." Spiro's eyes had put on a dangerous gleam. "There is a traitor in our mist."

There came an oddly familiar voice from somewhere behind him.

"Jon Spiro," it drawled. "So we meet again."

Spiro didn't have to turn. He knew who is was.

* * *

He shouldn't have been at all worried, really; as long as you had a Butler watching your back, nothng could go wrong. With an exception to one case. Artemis's mind was sent spiraling back to that one business meeting that went all wrong. And it had been with Jon Spiro.

The more the moment came closer, the more his apprehension seemed to agonize him. A tiny drop of sweat trickled down Artemis's neck, and he quickly brushed it away before Juliet could notice.

_Listen kid, _Spiro's voice echoed inside his head._ I like you. In a couple of years, you could have been just like me. But did you ever put a gun to somebody's head and pull the trigger?_

_No? I didn't think so. Sometimes that's all it takes. Guts. And you don't have them._

You don't have them.

It was unbearable for the Irish teenager to think about what he lacked. In fact, it was so difficult for him that it caused Artemis to stop dead in his tracks.

"Hey," Juliet assured him soothingly. "If you don't want to do this, you don't have to."

"No," Artemis heard himself saying.

"No?" Juliet smiled, and she seemed quite relieved. "Like I said, that would be okay."

"That's not what I meant," Artemis continued, his voice a bit sharp than his intention. "You know I must do this, Juliet. Don't try to deny the fact that this is not another one of my self-centered schemes. This isn't about me, nor is it about accumulating wealth. I've put the fairies at bay a few times too many, and I would be very much pleased if I could change that."

"But it's all over," Juliet retorted merely out of concern. "Just because you let them go doesn't mean the entire fairy race would _magically disappear,_ if you'd pardon the pun. We've got everything under control. Frankly, I still don't understand what's got into you."

Artemis did not reply. What was he supposed to say? That he was trying to prove Spiro wrong, to prove something for himself? That he did have guts? That he could actually...kill somebody...without feeling guilt, as long as the person was amoral enough to deserve it?

"Juliet," Artemis decided to say instead of the words that were threatening to come up his throat. "If... If it wouldn't be that difficult of a problem, I'd very much like to go inside on my own."

Juliet whipped around to stare at the teenage boy as if he'd just sprouted an extra head. "What?" She almost looked as if she wanted to burst out laughing. "_What?"_

Slowly, Artemis repeated his words without the stutter at the beginning.

"Artemis," Juliet shook her head, then gripped Artemis's shoulders. "Artemis, Artemis. Have you gone mad? Have you gone absolutely insane!" She started shaking hhim violently.

Artemis shrugged the bodyguard's arms off his body, then looked straight ahead to meet her eyes. "Please," he said earnestly, a genuine request.

"No," Juliet replied, her decision already as firm as a brick wall. "No. Artemis, just when will you ever learn? That Spiro's a dangerous man. If you even dare to go in there by yourself, then it's only a matter of time before you get killed."

Artenus stared his piercing gaze, but Juliet didn't dare to avoid eye contact. Spoiled Artemis always had things his own way, but this time, she was about to make an exception. "Fine," he said finally. "But leave everything to me."

"That's the maximum I can promise," Juliet nodded. "But don't stop me when I spring out of nowhere to your rescue."

Artemis nodded back. _I'll be needing it, _he thought. Feeling a bit more confident, he stepped out into the silent room, lacking both voice and geniality.

"Jon Spiro," he said. "So we meet again."

* * *

Jon Spiro felt as if a 100-pound barbell was caught in his throat. Funny how the seemingly normal boy such as Fowl could give him the willies; except normal boys didn't steal precious technology from him. Nor did they just tell 2.8 billion U.S. dollars and make him bankrupt. In fact, no human was ever able to manage that. No _human, _that is...

"Well, well, well. If it isn't little Arty." Spiro turned with a crooked smile on his face, wagging an innocent index finger. "Long time no see, isn't it? You sould have payed a visit in my comfy little cell."

"You're right," Artemis agreed. "I should have. It would have alleviated your shock from seeing me just now."

Spiro's lips curled in anger. "Now, now. No jumping to conclusions. Now why would I be surprised to see you? How do you know I wasn't just expecting you?"

"Is there any other explanation what 'There is a traitor in our mist,' could be about?"

"Ah, yes. You're right, once again." Spiro nodded as he walked up to Keeth, gripping his shoulder a bit too firmly as the goblin writhed. "You should have learned that your smart brain wouldn't get you anywhere cozy. But you are correct, this little fellow here forgot to mention that Artemis Fowl wasn't _dead_, but alive, right here in the Lower Elements."

Spiro smiled. "Didn't you, Keeth?"

"Let go of me," Keeth spat, and Spiro did. He brushed his shirt as if something had infected it.

"Keeth," Spiro asked, his dark eyes suddenly round and serious. "Did you betray me?"

"Yes," Keeth replied, almost proudly.

"Then I must ask only the obvious: Why?"

Keeth stared into Spiro's eyes, then at Artemis, then back again. To Spiro's utter astonishment, his unattractive face suddenly split into a crazy grin. "Why not?"

"That's a very laconic answer."

"And so I must elaborate," Keeth nodded. "But I merely gave you the obvious answer to the most obvious question, and it should have told you everything. Why not?"

Spiro glared, unaware that his body was starting to shake mildly.

"Just think, Jon. Use your head. What did I have against Artemis? Nothing. Truth be told, I actually like the guy. What did you have against Artemis? Everything. All I wanted was to pay back the LEP for what they did for me, and to my utter giddyness-" Keeth swallowed back a grin. "You did that all for me.

"You're nothing but a bastard, a hypocrite, Jon Spiro. You didn't realize the paradox in what you said. You claim you do not want to associate with such 'sordid crimes as murder.' You don't want want homicide to be on 'your long list of misdeeds.' Yet there you are, detonating the bio-bomb at the Fowl Manor, not only to kill your archenemy, but his innocent family. His happy little family, looking over the hills at the amazing landscape, all smiling and content with themselves.

"I commited quite a lot of misdemeanors as well, you know. Fraud, theft, shoplifting, you name it. But I couldn't tolerate the fact that you were killing a single civilian(no matter how rich they may be) family, especially the family of whom I was considerably fond of. So did your little girly pixie there-"

"Of course," Jon Spiro interrupted, unable to contain his anger. "The pixie was part of it as well."

"Exactly," Keeth nodded.

"You call me a bastard, a hypocrite, every single name you can think of. But you're the same as me, Keeth, accept it. You went along with the plan even if you knew I was doing something awful. Whether you liked it or not, you went with it. Just because you get a sudden burst of morals near the very end, it doesn't exactly make you a saint."

"That's where you're wrong, Spiro," Keeth shook his head. "That's where you're wrong. You and I are considerably different. I checked on the Fowl family not too long ago, and they're all alive. I called them. A bit torn at the loss of their son, but nevertheless alive."

Artemis's knees could have buckled in relief.

"Shut up," Spiro was shaking vigorously now.

"Just because someone tells you what you don't want to hear, you're asking me to shut up?" Keeth continued. "I hate to blow it to you, Jon, but you've lost everyth-"

"Shut- up!" Still shaking, Spiro fumbled around for his gun. "Don't talk about what I've lost. You don't even know what you're talking about. I haven't lost everything. Sure, I've lost pretty much, but not everything. In fact... I haven't lost enough to be unable to make you lose what you value most,Fowl." With that, the pistol in the American's hand wavered dangerously at Artemis.

The average adolescent wouldn't have dared to go this far; the typical adult would have been reduced to tears. But not Artemis. Pressing down the fear that was about to take over him completely, he voiced his opinion in his most convincing tones. "Jon Spiro," he pronounced clearly. "What is the ultimate purpose for doing this? And assuming that you have killed me, what will become of you after that? What will be gained? My death will not cause your lost income to spring back to your accounts; it will not bring you a clean record sooner than it will ever come. Just plain revenge? Is that what really matters?"

"I don't know what really matters anymore," Spiro replied in a hoarse voice that sounded inhuman to the people present in the room. "I don't care. What I do care is who lives or dies, and all I know is that I will be the one to live."

Bang. With a clutter, a bleeding Artemis fell to the ground, clutching somewhere on his body that to his horror, looked dangerously close to his heart. "Help," he rasped weakly, before his consciousness was plunged into night.

* * *

**_No, no, don't kill me. Don't kill me. Of course the wound is not fatal, and no, Artemis is not going to die. If he were to die, how would the story progress? And Artemis is my favorite character, I could never kill him. And don't overlook the fact that I'll get murdered by a bunch of Arty-fans.  
All's well that ends well, right? Don't worry, this will end well. Ciao for now._**


	25. Chapter 24 : Recovery

_**I keep on postponing the update date. Back-to-school, busy, you know the sort. I'm trying to update as soon as I can. And of course, I'm getting very close to the end.**_

_**number 423601: **You're back! Glad you enjoyed the chapter!_

_**brownpaperbagswithcherries: **Ah. That will be revealed in the mini-sequel:)_

_**neutralgal: **Thank you for your compliments, but the reviews are just enough for me. That way, I can talk to my reviewers individually, you know._

_**Raefel:** Thank you! Keep reading!_

_**cybergurl: **Glad you liked the cliffie, and the sudden twist. You like just about everything about me ,don't you? I thank you for that!_

_**Kama Nanashi: **Hehe. I like to keep readers on my toes, so there are a lot of cliffs. Enjoy the rest of the story please!_

_**Wolfgirl Silver Suicune:** Here's the next chapter for you!_

**

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**Chapter 24: Recovery**

It was after a while that he awoke. For one split second, he had no clue whatsoever about who(or what) he was, where he was, and why he was there in the first place.

_My name is Artemis Fowl the Second. _A small voice answered him from somewhere deep in the back of his head. _Where am I? _He asked the voice.

_I'm in the Lower Elements, in order to rescue Haven. _The voice popped out of nowhere once again.

Then it hit him. The attack.

Shocked at the sudden flow of memories that were saved as a small document in his brain, he watched, completely speechless, as his mind flashed images on a mental screen in front of his eyes of the conversation he and Spiro had, Keeth's betrayal, how the feckless American had drew out his gun and...but... he didn't feel any pain at the moment...

That's it. His whole body must be in agony if he were to be alive. Therefore his body was being anesthezised in heaven. Or rather, hell, for he hadn't done anything much decent in his short life. He flickered a finger in distaste.

"Artemis?" a girl's tone inquired. "He's come to! I just saw his finger move!"

Oh Lord. Satan was calling him. Although he never assumed that Satan was a girl...

"Diana, calm down, it's only been a few hours..."

"No! I swear I saw him move, I tell you!"

_Splash. _A pail of icy cold water was thrown at his face, and hit him with a sledgehammer of comprehension. Now he didn't want to open his eyes. He just wanted to lie here forever, in the same spot, this place that was perfectly safe. He wasn't born for these adventures.

"We all know you're awake, Artemis," Root's loud voice was amplified into his ear. "Open your eyes."

Ah well. What choice did he have? Slowly, he flicked open an eyelid, and the room was dark. He could just make out the outline of his friends, his friends who had apparantly been there by his side for the hours he had been knocked out. Along with that came a wave of guilt.

A hand was flicking the lights on, one by one, leaving an interval of ten seconds so that Artemis could adjust to the brightness. He sat up and looked around, and although he didn't know it, the scene of him bobbing his head around the room puzzledly made him look like the child he was. As his eyes wandered across the floor, he saw Commander Root standing up to meet his eyes. And two round, concerned eyes behind him, one belonging to Diana and the other to Foaly.

"Are you all right?" he asked. Artemis nodded.

"Do you still remember everything?" Artemis nodded.

"That's a relief. Magic can't do anything about amnesia, you know. We can't even reverse mindwipes. The victim has to do that himself with a stimulation that can trigger the residue that might be left in the brain." Root winked. "Why so speechless? Cat got your tongue?" He frowned as Artemis refused to speak, but shook his head instead. "You aren't- surely it isn't _aphasia_, is it?"

"No, I believe it isn't," Artemis answered, snapping back to his usual self. "I see a few people are missing. Where's Juliet? Is she all right? What about Holly? She must have healed me, and once again, she did her job well." Artemis peered inside the freshly clean shirt he was wearing to see that his chest was milky white with no trace of the wound there was before. "She must have had ample magic to heal a fatal injury like that without my body growing old like that time with Butler, I see?"

"He seems fine," Root said with a smile. "And full of questions. Holly did heal you, and she's gone off to rest due to exhausion and nausea. The reason you have not grown old is that Holly and a few warlocks available in the building did the surgery together. And Juliet is accompanying her-"

"She's about to go anorexic in just a few hours. She's feeling so guilty- she keeps on repeating, 'What was I thinking' and 'Dom would never have done that', and I think you should go see her." Foaly interrupted, and Root gave him a look.

"You know, Artemis," Foaly began solemnly and apologetically. "I could tell you were scared out of your guts, and I don't blame you. I _can't_ blame you, rather. Honestly. You had the world on your shoulders for the past few weeks. I think it's time you had a break."

"I was afraid," Artemis answered, eyeing the floor in what could be inevitable shame. "I also worried a lot of people. My parents and Butler turn out to be alive, so they must be devastated. I really don't deserve to do that to other people." He looked up, then down again, embarrassed at what he had just said.

"I must go see Juliet," Artemis said suddenly, standing up and walking to the door.

"Artemis?" Foaly called again.

"Yes?"

"When you're ready, Artemis. When you're ready."

Artemis Fowl nodded once. Before anyone knew it, he was out the door.

Juliet Butler was on the verge of tears indeed. She sat in a small chair in the corner of a small room, her lower lip bit and her head resting on her knees. She looked somewhat devastated. Artemis had never pictured Juliet acting this way before.

Just when Artemis was becoming worried for her, Juliet held up her head and caught Artemis's eye. The result was unbelievable. Her entire body shook with relief, but her face was held in her hands once again as guilt washed over her.

"I'm so sorry, Artemis," Juliet stammered as he drew closer. "I'm beyond sorry. I don't know what had gotten into me- I knew I should have done it myself. I knew you couldn't do it yourself, I just wasn't thinking. Oh Artemis, are you alright?"

"I'm quite fine," Artemis replied, overly alarmed as he stared at the tears swelling up in her eyes.

"I don't know why I have to be so reckless. Sure, Dom has no mercy when it comes to things crucial, but besides that, he always seems to think logically and rationally. No wonder he's the youngest graduate in Madame Ko's academy and I'm not."

"I reckon that's the similarity between the two of us, isn't it?" Artemis asked as he pulled out a chair and sat down beside Juliet.

"What do you mean?" Juliet inquired, blinking back the tears.

The Irish teenager just looked at him calmly with his incredibly blue eyes, a look suggesting 'Isn't it obvious?' "We're still both teenagers. Still immature. We always do things without knowing what exactly we are doing. Even I, who seems to think in multiple facets overlook many possibilities. No matter how clever I may be, no matter how physically strong you may be, we both lack the strength that is most valuable in one's life."

"Ah," Juliet smiled meaningfully. "I think I know what you mean.""So I was thinking," Artemis continued earnestly. "After this, no more extreme missions. No more illegitimate acts."

"Are you serious?" Juliet asked, apparantly shocked.

"Until the day I am no longer a minor," Artemis smiled. "And after one last mission."

"And what would that be?" Juilet smirked, folding her arms in mock stern.

"You know what that would be," Artemis retorted without looking up.

Juliet's amused smirk faltered a few millimeters, but no more than that. "And are you confident this time? Do you believe that you will succeed?"

"No," The Fowl heir replied, his face splitting into an unmistakable grin. "I don't believe. I know. Artemis Fowl the Second never fails more than once."

* * *

_**BAD NEWS) **THERE WILL BE NO SEQUEL.  
**GOOD NEWS)** Two more mini-sequels after epilogue. A comedy fic, action, and romance fic bubbling inside my head. You may anticipate!_


	26. Chapter 25 : Conclusions

**_Hello! I can't believe I'm postponing everything now. The recent preparations for my attending high school in the States has caused me to be unusually procrastinate. But don't take me wrong, I was never procrastinate, and you all know it, don't you? Don't you! Not that I'm complaining. I'm doing lots of sports and music and I'm learning my second (actually, my third, after Korean and English, it's Japanese. I'm planning to learn French in college, but that's not the point) language, I'm having loads of fun. Compared to the rubbish I've been doing all the time, this is heaven. The fact that all homework in America are essays only delights me more. I love researching and writing, as you can see from... frommy writing here at FanFiction, of course:)_**

_**To number 423601 and cybergurl: **Thank you so much to you all. You know I love you. I only hope I can see you more in my next fic which will be hopefully better._

**_Yes, I know my writing is getting terrible in the end, it's all my fault. I should have planned out it all before I actually began posting, stupid overzealous me. That just taught me a lesson, didn't it? It's the first time that I've worked on a fiction story, and no matter how much you praise me, I know I haven't done my best, I know I'm a writer with uncountable flaws, I'm fully convinced you've seen better, and I'm ashamed to admit it. I'm not being humble, either. I'm beyondsorry to my loyal reviewers for being unable to present the wonderful story you deserve, and one of the things that keeps me going is you, the other is the hope that my next fic will have fewer flaws than the one I'm writing now._**

**_Such a long talk. And it's not even good bye!

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_**

**Chapter 25: Conclusions**

Comprehending what had happened, Keeth held a shaking finger pointed at Spiro and uttered a word that deserves to be censored from this piece of writing.

"Ah," Spiro smiled meaningfully. "Been catching up on Mud Man swear words, haven't you?"

"You-, you-" Keeth was at a loss for words. "You don't deserve to live," he finished simply, as if those five words held some significant meaning of just how pathetic Spiro was.

"Well, that's certainly a surprise," Spiro said as his insane grin widened. "Because I'm just about as alive as you."

"Explain," Keeth whispered furiously.

"I beg your pardon?"

"I said, EXPLAIN!" Keeth's entire body shook in intense disgust. "Explain what you just did," he added in a calmer voice.

"No explanations," Spiro said, unable to keep his giddyness hidden. "None needed. Because it is an obvious fact that I am the one to triumph." His smile faded as he saw the goblin's anger streaming in rivulets of sweat trickling down his neck. "Now, now, why so down? Surely you do not grieve for his death enough to be as angry as you are now?"

"I'm disgusted of myself," Keeth answered. "I consider myself as putrid as you. I can't believe I've actually been in league with you for so long."

"Oh, really?" Spiro allowed himself the bliss of a sardonic laugh. "So kill me. Go ahead." He nudged the gun in front of him.

"No," Keeth retorted firmly. "I'm not going to become the cold-hearted murderer as you are. And besides, I think there's another person that's actually meant to kill you."

"Artemis Fowl?" Spiro cackled in a crazy sort of way, then managed to calm himself down. "Don't tell me you're blind. You saw me shoot him. He's as good as dead."

"Or is he?" Keeth asked earnestly.

Suddenly feeling a cold spasm of fear, Spiro turned aroundto see absolutely nothing. "Who are you playing at?" he demanded, amazed at his rash cowardice.

"You, obviously."

"I don't have time to share mindless tittle-tattle with you," Spiro said. "I must celebrate the glory of defeating the formidable genius boy. Or at least that's what he had once claimed to be." He chuckled gently, which soon lapsed into a cresendo of peals of insane laughter.

"You're mad," Keeth concluded. "I don't see what there is to celebrate about."

"You idiot. I will soon inform my collaegues that I have done away with him, and to do that I must go back to my home above ground-"

"Only to be convicted as a reckless murderer, and therefore, go back to jail," Keeth finished for him, scowling. "I see you have not earned a single thing from Artemis's death."

Actually, Spiro knew well of that. He knew he killed Artemis out of pure hatred, nothing more. He also was aware of him being a criminal that could possibly earn a life sentence, but the point was that he didn't exactly care-all he could think about for now was his very mind, now saturated in euphoria of defeating his archenemy.

"The best place you would ever be getting is with a shrink," Keeth said, shifting sideways. "Yes, that's definitely the best case scenario."

"Shut up, you ugly goblin, you're ruining my celebration party," To do his part, Spiro actually hummed a song, totally off-tune

."A celebration party alone. How marvelous," Keeth grinned. "Have fun, Mud Filth. It will be the last bit of happiness you'll ever have."

"What are you talking about?" Spiro asked, still singing.

"Oh, nothing," Keeth replied. "Nothing important at all. Don't want to spoil your positively radiant feast, so why don't I just move a bit further away from you?"

Spiro should have noticed something skeptical just then. Obviously, he didn't, so this is how it went. A split second later, a gun bullet pierced through his heart like a dagger and he looked down, his brain suddenly completely blank, trying to understand what had just happened. He had it all worked out, it's just that his mind denied it.

He fell down on the floor, soaked in his own blood, and fumbled for his gun already out of reach. Quick as a flash, Keeth took it away from him and chucked it out the door. As he looked up through eyes that were already going dim, he could make out the bare outline of a slim-framed boy, his face that held the most menacing look that Spiro had ever seen the boy wearing, looking down upon him as if he were a slug the boy had just stepped on the ground...

Bon Voyage. It was the last thing he ever saw.

* * *

"So," Keeth turned to face Artemis and managed to form his mouth into a thin smile. "Well, then. It's all over."

"It most certainly is, however difficult it may be to believe," Artemis nodded, still unnerved by what he had just done.

The loudest silence the two had ever heard was accompanied by a low groan from somewhere around the corner of the room. This, most fortunately, caused Artemis and Keeth to divert their attention to a small pixie in a room, very angry indeed(that is, Artemis thought she was angry, but Keeth didn't know whether she was just angry or delirious), clutching her Barbie-blond hair causing a few thick strands to fall to the floor.

"What's wrong, Opal?" Keeth asked, stalking over to the writhing Opal cowering in the corner of the room. "We've done it behind his back. We've finally killed him. Now all we have to do is spilt any income that comes in-"

"And precisely what income do you think will come in?" Opal said. Her hands were already off her hair and now a broad grin was plastered on her face.

"Opal..." Keeth face almost turned soft as he looked at her. "You're not on a date, you're definitely not my girlfriend, it's not like we're going to have a row or anything..."

"I did it," Opal's beautiful face gleamed as if facing the sunlight, and it seemed that happiness was just beginning to overcome her. Then, as abruptly as she had smiled, on her face appeared a dangerous scowl, suggesting that she might prance at the goblin in front of her at any minute.

"What did you do?" Keeth inquired, already fearing for the answer.

"I turned you in," Opal replied without a trace of amusement. "I turned you in to Goblin's Peak. They'll be coming to pick you up any minute." With that, her eyes in a daze, gazed into Keeth's own, which gave him the impression that she was blind.

Keeth laughed; and it was not an evil, insane cackle as Spiro's had been, nor a mirthless one as Artemis's had been so frequently. His laugh was merely a chuckle that was induced after a joke. "Stop pulling my leg, Opal. You couldn't have turned me in, of course you couldn't-" He grinned once again at his stupidity of believing Opal for even one second. "Why- If- if you had gone on talking about me, then you would have been discovered too!"

"Do you really think so? Then you've read my profile wrong," Opal answered, her face indifferent. "I will be transported to the NLE hospital once again. I have to spend about four more years there with a shrink." She laughed bitterly.

Keeth's grin had yet to vanish. "Really? Is that really so? But you gave me your trust, eh? What was that all about?"

It was Opal's turn to laugh. "Trust? Hah!" she spat. "Trust! You dare speak the word! Trust is nothing to be valued, it is merely something that reduces a potent being into utter weakness, something that can demolish anything in an instant!" To prove her point, she croaked a laugh again. "I knew better than to rely on something as foul as that. I'd give no one my trust, ever! I can betray you as easily as you betrayed Spiro, and then, you'll end up just like him."

Keeth's grin had now finally dissapeared, but his complexion was far from that of horror. It was the one of a person who had had a sudden inspiration, a realization. He glanced briefly at a wincing Artemis who has carefully avoiding to see Spiro's body, nor the two of them. He was not succeeding, as the room was far too small.

"Keeth," Artemis opened his mouth, "If we slip away now, I'm sure you'll be able to get away."

"Nope," Keeth replied without turning. "I'm going in. I'm moving in to Howler's Peak. Examining Spiro over these few weeks taught me a lesson. If I continue to live my hell of a life, I'll probably turn out the same as him. I've decided to repent for what I've done.

"Quite a transformation, the two of us, eh? Good prevails over evil. Who would have known that such a simple fairy tale lesson, pardon the pun please, could have come true in real life?"

Artemis squared his shoulders without knowing exactly why. "I assume I'll hear from you soon."

"Oh, I bet you will," Keeth winked with one of his scaly eyelids. "Ship this girl to the hospital for me. If I'm not mistaken, she seems to have gone genuinely mental. Exceptionally so, after that death. Look how quiet she is now." And indeed she was- nothing could be heard from the screaming Opal, for she was staring at the floor spitting out strings of undecipherable words.

"That will be done," Artemis nodded.

And then, as suddenly as it had come, it was over.

* * *

**_R&R XOXOXO Cyberspace_**

**_-the unknown, enigmatic Cyberspace with an identity crisis! Ahh! The world will never be the same!_**


	27. Chapter 26 : Farewells

_**number 423601: **Thanks, and a late Happy Birthday to you! -sends a positively gargantuan birthday cake with a nuclear bomb inside-_

_**baudelaireobsseserVFD: **Hello! Are you from the Series of Unfortunate Events fandom? Keep reading, please!_

_**I am reposting chapter 25 with many changes. Just thought you might like to see it.

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**_

**Chapter 26: Farewells**

Things happened quickly. Far quickly than they were ever meant to be.

The police were highly confused to see the supposedly dead, one-time criminal Keeth Gates complying with a relaxed, almost soporific look glazed on his face as they shipped him off to Howler's Peak. Some even believed him to be drugged, but even at hearing this he did not even throw a retort, but simply closed his sleep-deprived eyes and dropped into what looked like a deep sleep.

It was Opal who met up to their expectations. Her mood swings were getting worse by the second and her mind was like a roller coaster swirling up and down a curvy rail. She was grinning uncontrollably at one moment; her voice broke into hysterical shrieks the next. With the help of several other officers, the LEP managed to haul a kicking, screaming, swearing pixie into the ambulance which led to the NLE hospital.

Only a selected few knew the whole story, and it would surely be that way forever. Even Dr. Argon was forced to turn back when he appeared at the doors of Police Plaza, pleading for some data to write his latest report about Artemis Fowl. "You've never kept me out of anything like this!" The flustered doctor shouted as the door was slammed in front of his face. "And it will all be for the worst of you all!"

And what to become of Artemis Fowl? He was definitely not, nor will he ever be the same to the boy he had been when he had first embarked on this journey. He had received an humongous sundae of morals with a touch of whipping cream of humor on it. The delightful little cherry perching on top of it all was of course, a ball of emotion of all his friends and Diana.

Holly had offered to mind wipe both his parents so that they will not be suspicious of his absence, but at this, Artemis shook his head vehemently. A flat no. "I do not want to hide anything from my parents any longer. They have a right to know everything about their son. From now on, I am truly going straight until I am over the age of eighteen. No mischief from now on."

"But," Holly had gasped in horror. "Surely you won't say a word about us?"

"Oh, no. Of course not." Artemis had replied with a wink.

"Hmmm," Holly thought aloud running her hand through her cropped auburn hair and smiling. "Artemis Fowl without mischief. I don't see how that'll work out, but I know it won't be pretty." And they both laughed.

Spiro's wounded corpse was buried above ground by a troop of disguised warlocks. He had no one to care for him, nor anyone to care about his whereabouts, so that turned out to be nice and smooth with no problems at all- well, maybe just one. One of the warlocks claimed to have been frightened right out of her skin because of a dwarf under the ground performing a superb cyclone and dissapearing again into the hole he had created, howling, "Just thought I'd let you keep your precious memories about me!" Anyone could assume who he was.

And alas, the time had come: the time to say good-bye. This was not a farewell of tears as it is always expected to be. On the contrary, it was cheerful as it was a parting of two families that were to meet again.

"We all hope to see you soon, Artemis." Root had said sarcastically. "We're all just dying to know just what kind of trouble you'll cause next time."

"Hey, don't be so hard on him," Foaly retorted, munching a carrot that was in between his two fingers. "After all, he did say he was going straight."

"I know better than to trust Artemis Fowl," Root snarled menacingly, which made everyone present burst into peals of laughter.

"Good-bye, Juilet," Holly smiled. "Here's the DVD I promised. Gnome wrestling. Maybe you could tell me what you think about it."

"Sure, when I see you next time," Juliet replied, smiling back. "There is a next time, isn't there?"

"Of course there is," Holly snapped. "And the next time and the next next time, and someday we'll all gather round to cheer-"

"And we'll continue until the day comes when fairies and Mud Men finally unite," Artemis finished for her. "Save the dramatics for later, Holly."

"Oh, I see who won't be getting a Valentine's Day card."

"See if I care, Miss Short."

"My cards are different you know, they've been sent generation by generation since my great ancestor Cupid."

"Yes, I agree." Artemis interrupted her with a wave, and turned back to the shuttle port with Juliet and Diana by his side. When the two girls were inside, Artemis made a move to go in too, but hesitated as if being reminded of something. Then he slowly turned back.

"Am I right in thinking, Holly, that when we meet again, we will be acquainting each other as friends?"

"Yes, Artemis," Holly answered, unable to contain a thin smile. "This is goodbye, but not for the last time."

"Then, of course, we must shake hands," Artemis said, walking back and snatching Holly's hand firmly, shaking it up and down.  
"Yes, yes. Save me the formalities." Holly muttered.

"Thank you for awaking the spark of decency in me, Holly."

"Thank _you_ for making my life somewhat interesting, Artemis. Although I must say it was a bit too dangerous to be considered interesting."

Artemis laughed. "I don't think I'll be forgetting you for a long time. Never in a million years."

"You know, you don't technically live for a million years..."

"It's called humor. Mud Man humor."

"Oh. I see."

Artemis let go of her hand and walked down the rally again. He gave a final wave as he stole a look at each of them. Root, Foaly, Holly, and Trouble, who had been quiet all this time staying uncomfortably close to Holly. He stepped into the door, never looking back again.

Then the shuttle left.

"Well then, that we are all done with," Root said, clapping nonexistant dust off his hands. "I think it's back to telling off goblins for both of you. The end of the fun life."

"I'm not sure," Trouble groaned, stretching his arms in chronic fatigue. "After that mess, I don't think I want to associate with goblins ever again."

As Root and his favorite officer bickered back and forth, Foaly remaining beside the commander with a bemused look on his face, Holly managed to stay back without being noticed. She needed to check something.

It was then that she finally opened her palm and tipped two tiny things into her other hand. One was, she recognised, the coin with a hole in the middle that she shot in the Arctic. The other, however, was a slightly yellow parchment. With excitedly trembling fingers, she unfolded it.

Inside was a note written with recognizable, incredibly neat handwriting. "To a decent friend, until we meet again."

Already grinning, Holly folded the note and placed it carefully in her breast pocket. Root was wrong. As usual, the beginning of something always began at the end.

* * *

**_Tear, tear. Only three chapters left!_**


	28. Epilogue

**_I'm getting a bit sad now. I am on the verge of tears.Yes, you've got it. It's coming. The end._**

_**neutralgal: **What's so incredible:)_

_**siriusly137: **No, actually, I'm not a ghost writer. Just stupid, fourteen-year-old me that's typing away some terribly nonsensical story... It's nice to hear that, to think of it, the AF trilogy isn't exactly pragmatic.. Love your ID!_

_**baudelaireobsesserVFD: **I knew that one-eighty twist would make a few people upset. Actually, more like seven-twenty degrees, I've had so many twists already I can't even count them._

_**number 423601: **Thank you for your lavish compliments, you always glorify me. No. Honestly. I'm actually blushing, and I don't blush much. Best Artemis fic on the site? You've gotta be kidding me._

_**sue: **I guess so. It doesn't exactly say that in the EC book, but they erased the scars from the face lift, so the finger scar must have been erased too. Excellent discovery of one of my numerous contradictions. I don't think anyone's pointed that out, they've been too blinded by my so-called 'ingenuity' which I don't even possess._

_**cybergurl:**I had to kill Spiro, because that was my intention before I started this. As I carefully folded the EC book after I finished it, I just thought 'I gotta kill Spiro!' But I have to say I improved his character a lot, I guess he's cool in an insane sort of way.

* * *

_

**Epilogue**

**Fowl Manor. Dublin, Ireland.**

It was dusk when they arrived, which gave Artemis ample time to figure out what he had been exactly doing for the past few weeks. He was on a business meeting in America, gave the businessman he was meeting plenty of time to consider, and while doing that Artemis himself stayed at a hotel. When the entrepreneur finally emerged with his decision, it turned out to be negative. Therefore the deal was unsuccessful, Artemis had quietly withdrawn, and here he was again, back at home. Very unlikely indeed, but he was certain his parents would fall for it.

The reason he couldn't receive the calls his mother was making on his cellular phone was because his business partner had snapped it in disagreement; after all, his parents did not know what his mobile phone was made up of. He had wanted to give a call, but there simply wasn't much time, and he didn't want to be in any more trouble than he was now by calling up and telling everyone the truth.

"It's Arty!" Angeline had burst with excitement when she saw her only son at the front steps of her home. She had hugged him tight while bursting into tears, which made Artemis actually quite flustered. His father was always the sensible one; he simply eyed him with cool eyes that were uncannily identical with his son's and asked for an explanation. He said his long string of lies, and of course their parents believed him; after all, they hardly presumed that their beloved son would frolic along with fairies living underground.

"But Arty," Angeline had asked with round brown eyes as Artemis had only just finished his story. "Didn't it occur to you once that we might have been worried silly if you'd just gone missing?"

"Nonsense, mother. You should have assumed I was all right. After all, I was with Juliet." Artemis had assured her soothingly.

And now here they were, on the patio of the manor overlooking the twinkling stars with a cup of Earl Grey tea on the table in front of him. The wind was getting quite rash as it was mid-December, but none of them noticed the cold. Even Butler, who was eyeing Artemis with a subtle smile on his face, could see that the Fowl family was enjoying each others' company.

"Let's go inside, Arty." Angeline said, beaming.

Artemis did not answer. Truth be told, this night reminded him of the particular Christmas Eve when he was in bed, content with the triumph of the success in his kidnapping but meanwhile worried about what would become of his mother tomorrow. Would she really be all right? Would she be able to recognize me? That night was when it all began, he realized; back then he only knew that it was the end of something.

_Perhaps, _he thought. _Perhaps, even though tonight I believe that this is the end of all time, in the far future, maybe I would be able to reminisce this day and think that it was the beginning of something. Just as I am doing now…_

He jerked his head in a rapid movement to somewhere amid the branches of the tallest tree in the yard. He could swear he just saw a slight ripple in the air, but he chose not to say anything. He waved acknowledgingly at the tree, and slowly slid open the door to the house and stepped inside.

Just then, a flame of red hair was seen against the moonlight, but disappeared just the same.

**THE END

* * *

**

**Special Thanks To:  
**-God, as always, for everything  
-Eoin Colfer for inventhing this wonderful world of mysteries  
-my anonymous friend for managing to encourage and criticize me at the same time  
-the owner of FF for inventing this site and constantly updating it  
-Microsoft Word for being my beta reader  
-Most of all, every single one of my reviewers that have given me continuous approbation, critiques, and occasionally objective judgement. Thank you so much. You know I love you:  
_cybergurl, TrunkZy, sugaCraZie, plughole,ahnigurL, darklight ascendent, QQuagmire, neutralgal, VampirePeaches, buffyvh, Tiger Stalks, FaSHioNaBLe(how could I ever forget _**you**_), Dr. F. Roy Dean Schlippe, Amy Shadows, Travithian Axile, Princess Arwen Evenstar 77, PeanutButterOreoCookieGirl, Trinity Day, lil bishi hunter, hehe, ruusa, Lils Evans, RaevanDawn, Teya Yashitoda, Miko Yamaguchi, number 423601, Artemis Fowl II, booksrule39, jess, iceteawriter, darklink231, froggiesrcool, brownpaperbagswithcherries, Raefel, Kama Nanashi, Wolfgirl Silver Suicune, baudelaireobsseserVFD, siriusly137, sue  
_-Last but not least, my two robust hands for typing away my ideas, which brings me to my BRAIN for actually **giving** me ideas, good or bad...  
-This is truly the last. Mom & Dad for giving birth to your somewhat abnormal daughter.

Whew! Thanks, y'all!

****


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